


What Is It Like To Feel?

by somebodyloving



Series: What Is It Like To Feel? [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Angelic Grace, Angst, Feelings, Flirting, Fluff, Gabriel is alive obviously, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No British Men of Letters, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Post-Season/Series 11, Season/Series 11 Spoilers, Self-Doubt, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, Sexy Times, There might be slight Destiel after all, not too graphic, not too prominent though, slowburn, some hunting as well, soul/grace bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-08-15 09:56:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 71,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8051866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somebodyloving/pseuds/somebodyloving
Summary: What is happening to me? Gabriel thought, and after a moment every damn human function possible was slowly awakening, his senses were overloaded with every detail around him. Bright lights still streaming through his eyelashes causing his eyes hurt as if he'd never used them before, loud buzzing in his ears as something not his grace was pounding strongly in his chest.The archangel wanted to run, to hide somewhere in one of his secret places and get through this, hopefully, temporary situation. This had to get better. He couldn't stay in this pathetic state forever, could he?***The bunker was empty and it was scary as hell. And Sam knew something about that. Sometimes it felt like staying in a tomb instead of a home he had created with his brother. Sam missed Dean's presence so damn much. He would do anything to get his brother back. So, Sam really thought he had been alone in the bunker until one night when he heard some weird noises and cries coming from his room. Why was it always his room?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> this idea for a fanfic came to me suddenly when I was working on my presentation about Gabriel for a con I'm going to be a part of. I love the character and I wish he would come back. But I'm afraid it's not going to happen. That's why I just had to write something with him as the main character. Moreover, I love Sabriel. Enough said.
> 
> This is my second attempt to finish a longer fanfic. I'm not English native speaker so I apologize for any mistakes and typos. If someone would be interested in being my beta, I'd appreciate it very much. 
> 
> Otherwise, I hope you enjoy every chapter as I did while writing them. Hits/kudos/especially comments-feedback are welcome and appreciated. I really want to finish this one and all those signs of support will give me strength to continue :).
> 
> Updates: every Saturday (hopefully), sometimes even twice a week.
> 
> Also, Rendie helped with the last chapter (chapter 33 - bonus chapter posted separately), and of course, read the whole thing before me uploading it here. Thank you for helping me! :)
> 
> Do you want to connect with me through some other page? I have a tumblr (what a surprise). You can find me here: somebodyloving.tumblr.com

**Chapter 1**

Opening his eyes was rather difficult for Gabriel's tastes and he regretted his automatic responses right after he did open them and a bright light hit him hard like thousands of needles. It sure was a shocking sensation for him because Gabriel had never had to deal with human reflexes before, being an archangel and all.

Gabriel groaned loudly and tried lifting his arms to rub the unusual exhaustion and sleepiness off his eyes, not attempting to open them yet again. But even that little movement was found with painful stabs in his forearms and fingers. His arms were hurting as if having been burnt with the holy oil. Not that Gabriel knew how it felt but he had quite impressive imagination.

It was also hard to breathe. _How was it possible?_ Gabriel tried to make sense of it all. He was an archangel, for Dad's sake. He could breathe and feel pain or any other sensations whenever and however intense he wanted. This is new, this is so overwhelmingly new and too difficult to process all at once and it had been just mere seconds into his consciousness.

 _What is happening to me?_ Gabriel thought, and after a moment every damn human function possible was slowly awakening, his senses were overloaded with every detail around him. Bright lights still streaming through his eyelashes causing his eyes hurt as if he'd never used them before, loud buzzing in his ears as something not his grace was pounding strongly in his chest, but this was somehow manageable, this was almost familiar. Gabriel had lived among humans for a long, long time. He could get used to this eventually. But the pain, excruciating pain in every inch of his body, that wasn't what Gabriel would have ever expected in his millennia-long life. Human bodies were too fragile, breakable and withered quickly. Now, everything ended somewhere and too close to his core for his liking. Gabriel's grace always reached very far from the human vessel he'd been in for years. He could spread out his w-...

"My wings!" Gabriel screamed, his throat adjusting poorly to the unusual stretch of his vocal cords as though he'd used his voice for the first time. Gabriel cleared his throat again, blinking the tears from his eyes caused by his strong coughing. Though it was hurting him, he couldn't help himself. The archangel tried to move his body into the sitting position but his moves were uncoordinated and after a few tries to sit, though not being able to, he just gave up and lied back down.

"No, no, no, no, no... Father, what is happening to me!" Gabriel croaked and thrashed around, wincing at the pain that it caused in his limbs. He opened his eyes in reflex, wanting to know where he was, but regretted it immediately as the bright light surrounding him hit him fiercely again and forced him to close them.

Digging with his fingers into the soft material under him, Gabriel finally got over the initial panic of not feeling his wings, and tried not to think about them too much. _There has to be some explanation!_ He comforted himself mentally.

Gabriel realized that he was lying on a bed, holding the sheets covering half of his vessel, twisting them with the force of his fists. He could feel it and it was different from the usual. The fabric covering his body was pleasantly warm, and even though Gabriel had experienced better before, at the moment, he wasn't going to complain.

Gabriel's thoughts were running wild, incoherent even to him. It was coming to him gradually again like pulses, all these feelings and automatic reactions as if he'd never used this body before. As if he'd been born minutes ago. Every nerve, every muscle was twitching strangely under his skin. It was such an alien sensation that Gabriel didn't know what to do with it all. That was how being human felt like? Being so vulnerable and small brought back an emotion Gabriel was familiar with but it'd been a long while since he'd last felt it, and he'd been an archangel back then. This was a completely new level of weak. Gabriel would laugh, be it someone else in this state. But this is him and it is _not_ funny at all.

The archangel wanted to run, to hide somewhere in one of his secret places and get through this, hopefully, temporary situation. This had to get better. He couldn't stay in this pathetic state forever, could he? But the fear, the fear seizing his senses was too strong.

"No, no, no. This is not happening. Ah-..." Gabriel breathed out with difficulties. Panic surrounded him once more. Piercing pain spread through his whole body as though he'd got stabbed with an angel blade, and the archangel writhed on the bed, arching his back off it, hitting everything close to him, the sheets twisting in his fists. It felt like all the aches and wounds he'd acquired in his vessel surged into him now at once.

There was a presence, not that Gabriel could make much sense of it while experiencing so much pain and all those feelings and emotions messing with his head, all his organs going crazy didn't help one bit. And they weren't even his, not really. Gabriel was an archangel, dammit. Vast, cosmic and unimaginable energy in a humanoid shape that humans couldn't even begin to fathom. Their senses were too simple, not perceptive enough to grasp the strength and power flowing within every angelic being. There were things humans would never see if they didn't want to lose their sight. And even then they couldn't possibly comprehend how enormous angels were, or archangels for that matter. It was so easy to forget about this particular detail when humans saw them in their vessels.

There was someone in here, with him, holding him with strong hands, digging into his flesh to keep him still and not hurting himself more than he already had. Gabriel tried not to panic, he tried to calm himself down and get enough strength to open his eyes and see. This was important.

Even though the light wasn't as bright as before, it was still painful to open his eyes and adjust to his surroundings. At first Gabriel saw just shapes of furniture and a silhouette of a man at the right side of the bed. The archangel looked around himself, still not seeing properly but it surely was better than nothing. It was a sign of weakness having to put so much effort into such a little motion and he hated the feeling. Gabriel blinked several times to clear his vision and finally saw who was the person holding him earlier.

It took Gabriel a while to connect all the strings and pieces of information in his brain to recognize the face in front of him. The man, yes, it was a guy, was now sitting in a chair nearby, looking at him intently with his hazel eyes as if trying to determine the cause of the sudden spasms of Gabriel's body and this state he was in, so unlike him. _I know!_ The archangel wanted to scream but he didn't. He would kill for finding out what'd happened to him, but the processes in his mind were sluggish and he couldn't concentrate on anything. Add the pain, though slowly subduing into a manageable intensity, thank Dad, and unfamiliar sensations everywhere, there wasn't much to work with right now. But it was a start.

The man's eyes were still focused on the archangel, surely searching for answers. It was his speciality. Gabriel knew that, but how did he know? He couldn't recall the man's name.

"Wha-" Gabriel stopped abruptly and swallowed the dryness and ache in his throat from all the screaming and shouting. When did he hurt his throat so much? He couldn't remember.

"What happened?" Gabriel tried again, frowning at the sound of his voice. It was so strange to hear himself speaking but not recognizing the voice. His voice. There was nothing resembling his true voice. Not even a little bit. It was disconcerting, pulling him back into the panic mode. Fortunately, the man sensed his state of mind and reached out to him with his hand, placing it on his forearm and begin to rub it in gentle circles to calm the archangel down.

"Gabriel, shhh. Look at me. Please. Look at me." the man said worriedly, his name still alluding him, flowing somewhere in his mind. His touches were slowly soothing him into a calmer state and it was such an amazing feeling, Gabriel couldn't not oblige his pleas.

The archangel looked into the brown eyes of the man, so intense with emotion, so strange to see such a thing aimed at him. That overwhelming feeling which Gabriel identified as fear, pure and dangerous fear for his own being was receding slowly into manageable levels. He was flooded with human life but the man's gaze and gentle touches grounded him once more. It was freeing and Gabriel decided that he liked it. He liked it a lot and that was somehow frightening.

"I know it must be difficult for you right now, but please, at least try and tell me, do you know where you are?" the man asked patiently, the only calming presence in his life right now. Gabriel wanted to answer him. He felt like not answering him would be a bad and disappointing thing to do.

"I..." the archangel paused and tried to remember. It was hard to concentrate. Everything in his mind was jumbled like a big ball of chaos. Gabriel knew it was somewhere in his mind but he couldn't make sense of all that information in there. It was infuriating. He hated this feeling of helplessness and not knowing.

"Hey, hey, Gabriel. Don't strain yourself. If you don't remember, it's okay. Try to rest. You definitely need it." the man said soothingly with a smile as he leant back into the chair, crossing his arms over his chest, and still looking at him, observing him, watching over him, like a guardian angel, though Gabriel knew he wasn't one. _I would have felt it, right?_

The archangel didn't answer him, didn't say a word as a reply. He just did what the man had told him. Gabriel somehow knew he could trust him. It was a gut feeling - one of those purely human things, _again._

Exhaustion had hit him hard. Consciousness was draining him and he couldn't think even if he was really trying to stay awake. His thoughts were running wild in his head and not making any sense. Gabriel decided that it was pointless to fight the sleep enveloping him in this state of mind, and after he looked at the man sitting near the bed, making sure that he was still there, the archangel just closed his eyes and let the sleep take him into the dreamland.

The archangel fell asleep immediately, not sensing that the other man stood up and pulled the blanket up to his chin, covering his upper body and smoothing back the hair from his forehead with a tender touch. Gabriel didn't know that the other man had stayed there longer than any other person would have. It was completely new for them both, but at least, they had each other.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to thank all of you who took the time to read the first chapter, I really appreciate it. 
> 
> I'm going to switch POVs between Gabriel and Sam, so this chapter is from Sam's POV. Don't worry I won't write the same thing. By this, I wanted to show inner thoughts and feelings of both of them. It is important for us to see how their relationship grows :).
> 
> I'm not sure how often I update. I have something written already but I don't want to rush it too much.
> 
> Okay, enough of that. I hope you like this chapter too. It is longer :). As always, I appreciate every hit/kudos/comment.

# Chapter 2

The bunker was empty and it was scary as hell. And Sam knew something about that. Sometimes it felt like staying in a tomb instead of a home he had created with his brother. Sam missed Dean's presence so damn much. He would do anything to get his brother back. Despite Dean being a jerk sometimes and making a mess everywhere he stayed for a longer period of time, he was his big brother, who had raised him and taught him almost everything in life. All that magical stuff they had been sitting on for the last couple of years now emitted invisible vibes into the place and made Sam wary of his surroundings. Sam shivered every damn time he walked by a dark room, evoking a thought of the Darkness in his mind. He was a hunter, for God's sake, this shouldn't scare him. The hunter had been in such a situation before, too many times for his short life, but still it was disconcerting how easy it was to make him vulnerable without his brother being around.

Sitting in a chair at the kitchen table and drinking already cold coffee, Sam remembered the words of one particular archangel telling him how dependable he was on Dean and that it would kill him one day. Well, he had been right for sure. Several times, actually. Not that it had stopped them not sacrificing themselves for each other.

Speaking of...

Gabriel.

 _The_ Gabriel. The archangel who had put him through hell, having a weird way to show them their weaknesses and dying for them in the Elysian Fields hotel. The cheeky bastard who had killed his brother a hundred times over just to give him a lesson, nearly castrating him in that stupid Japanese show, giving him hell of an experience as Dean's baby à la Kitt from Knight Rider. But in the end, he had fought for them, against his own brother, and Sam couldn't imagine himself in Gabriel's position. Oh yeah, he'd been in such situations, no doubts about that, though Sam had never killed Dean, or tried to for that matter. He had always tried to find another way to solve the problem and save everyone. And there had been a time when he should have killed him for the sake of the whole world and seven billion people in it. Yet, the younger hunter hadn't had the guts to do it, even though later he had found out that it had been impossible to kill Dean, having the Mark and all that demon thing within him... Not a good memory to be recalling right now.

Still, Gabriel had the guts to stand up to his family, to his older brother, and the archangel had died helping them to stop the Apocalypse. It had been a long, long time ago. A lot had happened since that night, and Sam had remembered him every once in a while. After all that Gabriel had done to him, Sam admired the archangel in a weird way. It was hard to hate him after everything they had been through together. And when Sam was left alone after God's sister had decided to destroy the world just because she was pissed at her brother being a better architect, after his big brother had gone and sacrificed himself to save the world and Castiel had disappeared God's knew where - although that was questionable as well, since Chuck hadn't been all that almighty the last time he saw him - because the angel couldn't bear the loss of his human. The despair Sam had been feeling since then was excruciating, blinding him, making him reckless and sometimes even ruthless. Dean would have kicked him for living his life like that. His big brother hadn't become a bomb because of the other people in the world, he had done it for him. If not Jody and her constant nagging over the phone - oh, if she knew, she would kick him as well - Sam would have got himself killed several times over. And it had been only two weeks without his brother. Okay, here he was, alright, but full of guilt of losing everyone from his close family.

So, Sam really thought he had been alone in the bunker until one night when he had heard some weird noises and cries coming from his room. _Why_ was it always _his_ room?

And here, he was brought back to Gabriel.

***

One day, when Sam walked down the hall, heading to his room to try and sleep for a bit - and it was getting more and more difficult because of all the nightmares terrorizing his dreams - he heard weird and muffled noises from inside. It got louder, closer to the room he got. Of course, being a hunter, Sam's instincts kicked in and he immediately took out the only weapon he had on him at that moment - Ruby's knife, still carrying it behind the belt of his jeans in case of emergencies. Sam looked around the hall, not seeing anything unusual, and then he slowly moved closer to the door of his room. At first the hunter listened carefully what was going on in there from outside, but he couldn't stay there forever, waiting for shit go wrong as usual in his life. So he opened the door quietly and took a peek inside. Well, that Sam was shocked after seeing no one else than Gabriel lying on his bed, the bloody archangel who had been dead for years, was an understatement. But knowing Gabriel, there had always been a chance him surviving everything, even making a fool of Lucifer. It hadn't been an accident that he had been called the Trickster after all. Though he recalled Chuck's words and couldn't make sense of it. Chuck would have known Gabriel had been alive all this time, would he?

However, the state Sam had found Gabriel was terrifying even for his standards and he had seen enough weird shit for more than a lifetime. The archangel was unconscious at that time he approached him, or in some kind of a trance, because he didn't react to Sam's calls or attempts to wake him up. Whatever Gabriel had dreamt about or gone through, it must have been hurting him enough to send his vessel into a seizure of some sort. It was so unlike him or anything Sam had seen before that the hunter didn't know what to do to stop it or at least make it easier for the archangel. God knew what had happened to Gabriel, or maybe he didn't. Who the hell knew anything in these days.

Sam had been alone for over two weeks in the bunker, and maybe he wasn't that eager to invite someone into his home and live here with them around, and especially, not a complete stranger. But Sam had known Gabriel once, and at that moment he realized this was another chance to keep someone close whom the hunter could live with without too much trouble, whom he could interact with and talk to, and be human again. Sam liked people and he needed to socialize every once in a while. Lately, it had been a real struggle for him to go and chat with random people. His mind had been preoccupied with thoughts of Dean and Chuck and Cas, and going to bars and talking to random strangers had been truly difficult, and he had left each time too soon into the night.

Oh well, Gabriel was a pain in the ass for sure. No argument there. But one thing Sam knew - the archangel needed his help. Sam was good at helping others, caring for them. He had always been the empathetic one of the two brothers, and this personality trait of his had won over a lot of victims whom they had needed to question for information on their hunts.

 _It wasn't an issue_. Sam told himself after spending the whole day at Gabriel's bedside - it wasn't even his bed anymore. Looking after Gabriel until he woke up wasn't hard or anything. The hunter not knowing what was going on within the archangel's vessel was the real problem.

Gabriel's kind of seizures stopped after two days. The nights were the worst. Seeing the archangel cry for hours, tears streaming from his closed eyes, his vessel burning when Sam touched his forehead. It was something Sam didn't want to see when it came to angelic beings. It looked almost like... _No_. The hunter reassured himself. He couldn't be. Gabriel was an archangel, for God's sake. The most powerful creature after God and his band.

The first night Sam witnessed a bright light bursting through Gabriel's body in pulses, the archangel screaming through the whole 'thing'. The hunter ran into the corner of his room, covering his eyes and waiting for that moment of going blind or being evaporated on the spot. After the light subdued and the room darkened again, Sam just stood there asking himself if caring for Gabriel was worth his life. It was a glimpse of doubt staying in his mind for just a second. Sam shrugged it off of his tense shoulders and rubbed the tiredness off his eyes. And fortunately for Sam, he hadn't lost his sight, and after a moment he just decided to go back a sit next to the bed, even though he knew this watching over Gabriel wouldn't help either of them.

The first day it was just screams. Well, who wouldn't scream when being literally in fire of pure light. _It couldn't get worse._ Sam thought. Well, who was he kidding. When the second day came, Gabriel began to talk from sleep, or more like nightmarish hallucinations. Sam had caught himself praying to Chuck and Cas a couple of times but in vain. Gabriel's chanting was a new level of terrifying. Sam recognized Enochian language right after the first few words. Falling into the Cage with Lucifer and Michael and being used there as a buffer between them - and sometimes it had felt like attending a war-like party of two pissed off archangels, who loved and hated each other at the same time - well, let's say that it was the only thing Sam would be at least a bit grateful for. In his line of work this kind of knowledge always came in handy.

On the third day, Gabriel woke up. Maybe still hallucinating but he opened his eyes and blinked a few times when he closed them again. The archangel had a full on grimace on his face for the whole time as he struggled with the new sense of consciousness. Sam couldn't imagine how it must have felt for Gabriel to wake up and feel everything. And the hunter knew that all the screaming and crying and praying wasn't just an act. Gabriel felt the pain surging through him and all those sensations must have been new to him as well. Once he heard Gabriel cry out something about his wings, Sam realized that, yes, Gabriel might be one of them after all. The hunter remembered what it had done to Cas and shuddered. How must it have felt to Gabriel, the archangel, being more powerful than Cas. Had he lost his grace, too?

Sam had many questions and they were swarming his mind, making him more tired than he would have liked. The hunter held Gabriel through the seizures so that the archangel wouldn't hurt himself, and when they abated, Sam sat back into the chair nearby and took a proper look at Gabriel, trying to determine if he was alright to talk. Sam needed answers on some of the questions that accumulated in his head in the last three days but he knew that Gabriel wasn't strong enough to answer them. But it couldn't hurt to try, right?

After a while, Gabriel looked up at him and Sam might have seen some sign of recognition there. _That's a good start._ He mused.

"Wha-" Gabriel stopped and swallowed a couple of times. Sam took a mental note to bring back a glass of water once the archangel went to sleep again. The hunter knew that he couldn't leave the room now when Gabriel was finally conscious enough to recognize shapes and his face.

"What happened?" Gabriel asked, a frown created on his forehead as in thought. Sam didn't know how to answer him. The hunter didn't know, he couldn't tell the archangel anything. At least he didn't seem to be afraid of Sam, that was also a good sign.

Gabriel was panicking again for reasons unknown to Sam, so the hunter did what he had always done in such situations, and there had been many of those when talking to witnesses or victims during their hunts, he just leant over Gabriel and comforted him with a touch on his forearm. Sam started rubbing soothing circles into his skin and, surprisingly, it helped. Sam let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, still stroking Gabriel slowly to calm him down.

"Gabriel, shhh. Look at me. Please. Look at me." Sam said in a concerned tone. Gabriel didn't answer. It was too much for him to take in and adjust to his physical and mental state. If Gabriel was a human now, it must have been terrifying at the very least to wake up here and like this. He had died after all. Who knew where angels went after their death.

"I know it must be difficult for you right now, but please, at least try and tell me, do you know where you are?" Sam asked patiently, gazing into Gabriel's honey brown eyes, not pushing him into anything and using a light tone in his questions.

"I..." the archangel tried once more but paused in mid-word. Gabriel was looking around the room and apparently searching for answers, and Sam realized it must have been too much at once for the archangel to be able to concentrate enough for a chat.

"Hey, hey, Gabriel. Don't strain yourself. If you don't remember, it's okay. Try to rest. You definitely need it." Sam said, smiling and showing the dimples on his cheeks, as he leant back into the chair, crossing his arms over his chest. The hunter didn't want to leave Gabriel alone, so he decided to stay until the archangel fell asleep.

It didn't take long and the exhaustion took Gabriel into the dreamland. And that was a cue for Sam to go and prepare some food and drink for the archangel for when he next wake up. Once he came close to the bed though, Sam felt this strange urge to touch Gabriel once more. He attributed it to his caring personality and thought nothing else of it, but it was more than that. The loneliness he had experienced for these couple of weeks was changing his view of life and relationships. He unconsciously realized he needed someone else in his life when his brother was gone. Strange that Gabriel had appeared just now.

Before Sam walked out of the room, he covered Gabriel's upper body with a blanket and stroked his forehead gently, seeing that the fever had dropped down at least a little bit. The hunter smoothed back Gabriel's hair softly, and as he was looking at the archangel's sleeping form, Sam realized at that exact moment how vulnerable Gabriel seemed to be.

Pulling out of the haze of million questions and thoughts in his mind, Sam turned around and left, leaving Gabriel to rest but not for too long. The archangel needed him right now and he wasn't going to let him down.

***

And that was how Sam found himself sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee while cooking something light for Gabriel. And he had done a lot of thinking as well. Not that it helped him much since he still didn't know anything. Neither Cas nor Chuck had answered him and Sam had just given up praying. Honestly, he had enough of them. Well, he was quite disappointed in Cas running away from him, they had lost the same person after all. But Cas had always been too emotional when it came to Dean. Sam understood but this was too much even for him.

And then there was Gabriel, who was showing some damn huge signs of being human, and it was quite worrying. But at least he wasn't alone anymore. They had each other.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear all,
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and hits. I appreciate it.
> 
> I hope you stick around until the end of this story. I would love to write a sequel, from Dean's and Cas' POV this time. As you might have noticed, there is no tag saying they're dead. Well, they're not dead. That's the only hint you get. Why? I wanted to focus solely on Sabriel in this story. Putting another relationship into it would distract you from the main thing - development of the relationship between Sam and Gabriel. That's just to clarify how I want to continue with this.
> 
> Also, I will try to update every Saturday. I don't want to feel pressured by updating too often, since I don't have any certainty to still keep writing as I do now (I added this bit into the note of the first chapter). But who knows, maybe I will update more often, though I don't want you to expect miracles :).
> 
> P.S. I just love Sabriel :D. I had to say it again, I had to.

# Chapter 3

When Gabriel finally woke up, the awareness of his surroundings was gradually coming back and his senses triumphantly announced full consciousness. The archangel reflexively opened his eyes, immediately remembering the moment he'd done it the last time and what had happened afterwards, and winced, waiting for the pain to come. But it never came. The archangel blinked several times to get rid of the blurry spots in the corners of his vision and stared at the ceiling for a while to adjust to the dim light in the room.

Gabriel's mind was relatively clear which was a relief after everything he'd gone through the last time he'd been half-conscious. And that clarity of his mind gave him an opportunity to find out where he was and what had happened to him. Gabriel couldn't remember anything from before he'd woken up which was all kinds of disconcerting but panicking had never helped anyone so he tried to take a deep breath and calm this body's heart.

 _His_ body's heart.

 _Ooh, damn._ He thought. There, that was exactly what he didn't want to relive again. The realization that he felt everything in his body, how it worked, all its functions, and that he couldn't control them all anymore, almost took him back into that pathetic state he'd been in before, not being able to breathe as his body went into the panic mode and didn't obey his mind. Well, at least he knew what breathing deeply was good for and it didn't have anything to do with sex. But this dependency on this body - _his_ body now - and its organs which could give up on him anytime wasn't ideal. And he wouldn't be able to stop it if it came to that. The necessity of breathing in general...

 _Oh, and peeing._ He grimaced in disgust. That was a nasty thing to think about.

And drinking or eating. _That one at least is a positive._ He mused with a grin and imagined all the candy he could devour and feel the true taste of it, not the fantasized one. This human thing he would definitely enjoy immensely. Although, he realized, with eating too much candy, he could develop a cavity or he could die of diabetes rather quickly. Who was he kidding. He could die of any kind of human illness right now.

"Oh, dear Father, all those diseases," Gabriel groaned loudly and rubbed his face several times over, finally not feeling any pain in his arms and fingers. This had to be one of those trials his Father had liked putting him through when he was young and liked playing pranks on other angels.

"What have I done to deserve this. This is a punishment of some sort, isn't it." He looked up at the ceiling and continued.

"I swear, I didn't do it on purpose. It was an accident. Even that running away from Heaven." Gabriel exclaimed, faking the pleading tone in his voice. _Oh, wow, his voice sounded so weird right now_. Frowning, he again regretted the moment he had woken up. He would rather stay...

 _Dead_.

It hit him hard like a brick into his face. He'd been dead, right?

"What the fuck happened!" he shouted, turning and twisting the fabric of the sheets in his fists as strongly as he could. He was angry and confused and sad and intrigued all at once. It was funny in a way because he'd always wanted to feel every human sensation and not the fabricated ones. A human vessel could offer some bits and pieces and there was a possibility to feel something through its skin and tongue and touch of its fingers. But not the real thing, not completely at any rate.

But this was different. He didn't choose this and that pissed him off a great deal. He hated when they forced him into doing something, he loathed when they decided for him. That was also the reason why he'd run away from Heaven and created his own witness protection as the Trickster and Loki to stay hidden from everyone. Well, that wasn't the issue anymore. He'd died by Lucifer's hand and it had hurt. He remembered how excruciatingly painful it had been to die. And not just the act itself, but the fact that it had been Lucifer, his older brother, someone he'd loved very much, who had killed him without hesitation just because he couldn't get into the thick angelic skull of his that this fight with Michael was damned childish, and his real issue had always been with their Dad, not humans. He was worse than human teenagers. They at least grew out of it rather quickly.

Gabriel grimaced at the thought and right at that moment someone walked into the room through the metal door on the opposite side of his bed and was standing there at the threshold completely still, gazing down at him in silence. The man was holding a tray with what looked like some kind of food and a glass of water and some liquid which resembled orange juice. Gabriel's mouth watered involuntarily upon seeing the food, a residual reaction from the times when he'd been a powerful archangel. But his body needed fluids and much of it. That right there wasn't something he wanted to feel or craved for.

Though the man was a candy for the eye all by himself. _Wow._ _What a hottie, that one. And tall. I'd climb him like a tree._ Gabriel mused, a cheeky smirk appearing on his face involuntarily. The archangel looked over the man's body appreciatively and just managed to stop himself saying some juicy remark out loud. Not a good thing to say to the man who had apparently cared for him while he'd been dead to the world. Whoever he...

Oh. _Oh._ His eyes widened in sudden recognition.

"Sam?" Gabriel said surprised and a bit puzzled, but he knew one thing, he wasn't going to complain about this because there always was a chance to fall into some baddie's hands and he wasn't prepared to be tortured yet, or ever.

Sam nodded silently as he smiled and set into quick motion. He came to the night table on Gabriel's left in two long strides and put the tray on it while still having a small grin on his face. And Gabriel didn't know what to think about this either. Since when Sam was so happy to see _him_. The archangel was the one who had hurt him and put him through some real shit - speaking of which, he wasn't pride of that particular bit of his life as the Trickster - and it confused him quite a lot. But no, he wasn't going to complain, not one bit.

"Gabriel. Good you remember me. I just - huh. I just brought you something to eat and drink. I thought you would need it when you wake up." Sam uttered quickly and his cheeks reddened a bit. He looked into Gabriel's eyes but immediately averted his gaze as if he were embarrassed by his caring nature, or maybe it was just him. Looking after someone like Gabriel, someone who had wronged him and not just once or twice, that must have been a real chore. Something must have showed on his face because Sam was looking at him intently, a small frown on his face, and Gabriel could see how the cogs in the hunter's head were turning and trying to determine what he was thinking and what had happened to him. It was something Gabriel wanted to know as well, but only Dad knew this and he hadn't been around for a while. Until now.

"Oh... Thanks. I - I feel thirsty, I guess, because, you know, I'm apparently human now. What a treat, right?" Gabriel said with a laugh, but it sounded fake even to him. His acting and faking skills had always been brilliant but at this moment he couldn't fool anyone, and Sam saw right through him. This unexpected uncertainty Gabriel was feeling inside made him shiver all over his body and the hunter noticed it, concern appearing in his eyes. Again, not that he was going to complain but what the hell happened to Sam that his human reactions to the world, just a damn shiver, made him so wary, so worried about Gabriel's well being.

"What happened, Sam?" Gabriel said bluntly, not wanting to delay the inevitable. Something was very, very wrong that Sam acted so unlike him, he seemed to be so fragile and sad, like a child who had lost his both parents. _Ouch._ That didn't sound right, even for his standards. _Anyway._ Sam looked tired, older for sure but in his line of work, who wouldn't age unnaturally fast.

"Huh, no fucking clue, man. I mean, I don't have much experience with angels becoming human, you know. Well, Cas was human for a while but you," Sam gesticulated wildly and pointed at him while looking at him with million questions in his hazel eyes. "This is new even for me, and I've seen... well, nevermind." Sam stopped abruptly at something Gabriel was now very much curious about. But this wasn't exactly what he wanted to know from Sam right now.

"I didn't mean my current pitiful state," Gabriel rolled his eyes in reflex but upon seeing Sam's puppy dog eyes, hastily continued. "I meant you. What happened to you, Sam? You're different. If I didn't know your face, I wouldn't recognize you." the archangel said and stared into Sam's eyes, trying to see through and understand the hunter. Sam looked like he lost something or someone, there was no determination in his eyes. Such a typical feature for the hunter. Why would he waste his time with him, preparing him food and everything, and where was the other one, Dean?

And _Holy mother of Jesus, Cas was human?_ Gabriel cursed mentally but pushed this piece of information aside for now.

"How long have I been under? And don't try lying to me, kiddo. I was a trickster once. I would know. Besides, I deserve the truth if nothing else." the archangel demanded strongly, yet with a smirk on his face. Honestly though, he had enough of this bullshit. This was worse than he thought and he had been dead just a moment ago, or hours, whatever.

Sam averted his eyes from Gabriel, looking at the sheets covering his body like it was the most interesting thing in the room. He played with his hands nervously, obviously searching for the best words how to tell Gabriel the truth and not break him emotionally in the process - that was at least familiar. Also, not that he was in a hurry or anything, he'd been dead for Dad knew how long, plus the archangel had lost all his powers. There might not be anywhere to go. But this wasn't the right time for delaying the inevitable.

Sam was still stalling and these were exactly the moments when Gabriel missed the older hunter. Dean would have kicked him out right after he woke up and told him to fuck off. The older hunter not being present was rather unusual and a bit worrying. After all, the archangel was the one, who had showed them how dependable the brothers were on each other and that it was their weakness. The bad guys had used it against them, and not just once. Something was very wrong here.

"Just spit it out. You don't have to go soft on me, Sam. I might be human now, but I will survive the truth. How long?" Gabriel tried to persuade Sam to tell him already. It wasn't like he would shatter into pieces and go mental all of a sudden. He had died and missed the Apocalypse not happening, since Sam was alive and in good health, maybe a bit exhausted but he had survived, but what were a couple of years to him, right? He was an archangel, for Dad's sake, a millenia-years old angelic being.

"It's been years. Six, more or less." Sam answered him carefully. "And trust me, you don't want to know what you've missed." he laughed with no humour in it. There was a silence for a few minutes, Sam didn't say more than was asked from him and Gabriel didn't have a clue what he was supposed to do or what he could ask. The first thing which came up to his mind was the still missing presence of the other hunter. At first, the archangel thought Dean just hadn't been too keen to help him so he didn't want to show up to see him either. Sam was the empathetic one after all. But still, Sam was too subdued and quiet. Gabriel could spot the worry lines on his forehead, too deep for his age, and he was too thin for a giant like him.

"Where is Dean, Sam?" Gabriel asked the million dollar question but immediately regretted it and damned his ever-present curiosity. Sam's shoulders fell and Gabriel saw sadness in his eyes. This was bad. The hunter had looked exactly the same as that time when he had pleaded with Gabriel to return him back to that Tuesday, before Dean had died.

_Oh shit._

"He's gone." Sam croaked and that wasn't good at all. He was trying to hold the tears coming into his eyes, but it was clear as a day that he wasn't going to manage it. The hunter choked out a weak "sorry" and ran out of the room.

"Well, I'll be damned." Gabriel mused out loud, rubbing his forehead with his right hand and smoothing his hair back with his left. He should have known. He should have known but in this body he couldn't do shit, not even see into Sam's soul and feel the pain in there from the loss of his brother. Without his powers, he wasn't just pitifully weak, but also useless, and he needed them to strengthen his skills in order to read people and anticipate their reactions.

_This is low even for you, Dad._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R6WIbx8ysE


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there,
> 
> today it's a national day in the Czech Republic and since I've got one more free day this week, I thought I could give you an early present - another chapter :). Of course, there will be an update on Saturday as I mentioned at the beginning. That should be a regularity.
> 
> Thank you very much for reading and giving it kudos even though it isn't finished yet and you have to wait for an update. But I'm too hooked to just stop writing, don't worry :D. Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> P.S. In the introductory note I've mentioned something about the sequel, I think. So it is happening. I started yesterday, just three pages but it is out there, in my folder and I sure as hell want to get back to it :). My first Destiel, I want that more than you do, trust me :D

#  Chapter 4

"Oh, shit, oh, shit, shit. Fuck!" Sam cursed silently as he walked quickly away, not even caring if he'd closed the door behind himself or if Gabriel had seen him break, rubbing the tears streaming from his eyes and his cheeks, some drops having reached his dry lips and he could taste the salty flavour of the tears when he licked them off. The hunter stroked back loose strands of his hair, and after having taken a few deep inhales, he exhaled with a loud sigh and slowly calmed himself.

He had been sitting on this particular bit of reality for a couple of weeks and he just couldn't admit the painful loss of his brother and everyone close to him. Even Cas, who still hadn't answered any of his calls and prayers. He'd even tried to lure him in by telling him about Gabriel. And Sam knew it was low coming from him and unfair. But he would be ecstatic if _his_ big brother had appeared alive after 6 years. Sam didn't want to think about the possibility that Cas had died too somewhere, alone and depressed. He knew something about losing the loved one and going for a revenge drive straight to hell. The angel was his friend and the hunter wanted him back as much as his older brother. And Sam realized that if he thought about Dean's sacrifice too long, it would have killed him from inside long ago.

Unfortunately, Sam hadn't anticipated Gabriel's curious nature and that question had just destroyed the very thin and weak wall he had taken so much time to build up, and everything what had been left of it was just a crumbled mess of suppressed feelings that just burst out of him like wild waves of water from a dam. The hunter had tried to hold them inside and just keep going, keep living because that had always been Dean's wish. He could try to move on and start a new life, find someone, have a family of his own. But after everything he'd been through, Sam just couldn't imagine living with anyone and put the person through the shit he would bring with himself into the relationship. All the nightmares and a fuckload of issues, it wouldn't be fair to them even if they'd known something about his past life and accepted it. Sam knew that the person would be in danger all the damn time just by talking to him. This problem had been following him since his birth, this weakness of having someone around. First it had been his own mother, then Jess, Dad and Dean... And the list could go on.

Gabriel's innocent question had brought up some shitty feelings he had tried to bury under the deep layer of hatred, guilt, revenge and sometimes even blind recklessness. But Gabriel's unexpected presence had somehow loosen up his resolve and now it was the cause of his current near-breakdown.

The history repeated itself. But this time, this time there was someone whom he could lean on. Although if someone had told him 6 years ago, or just the last week, that person would be Gabriel, well, he would surely have called him a fool and maybe also questioned his sanity. Even now, when he looked at it, he had this urge to laugh like a loon how crazy it sounded. However, the archangel was a much better option than another Ruby. He shuddered at the thought of the demon bitch who had led him on and used him when he had been in the most vulnerable state of mind. It was uncanny how similar the then and the now appeared to be. And it felt almost the same as before. These past couple of days had been very difficult to live through. The hunter had been moping around, roaming the bunker without much of a purpose in his life. An easy hunt or two, not much to be desired. He just had been waiting for a huge mess up and long due death of his. Although the thought of going to whenever he would end up wasn't too pleasant, either hell or heaven, there wasn't such a difference between those places. Both sucked big time, especially for him.

Sam realized that he was still walking through the halls of the bunker without any particular direction in mind. Then he just stopped, right in front of a library which he liked the most. It had been his hiding place since his first step into the base of Men of Letters.

Sam sighed again and walked into the room, wanting nothing more than a nice cup of coffee, not that disgusting substance he had had the pleasure to drink enough times in these last several days. And maybe he would read something not related to hunting or weird shit in the world. He would love to just run away from reality at least once without any consequences and to forget about the devastating truth of having a home without his brother in it.

The hunter sat into the armchair he preferred the most, sinking into it, and tried to relax. Closing his eyes, Sam laid his head on the backrest of the armchair and gripped tightly its armrests with his fingers, pouring into the wooden piece of furniture all the sorrow and ache he was feeling. The hunter had forgotten about the archangel, though he had given the maximum effort into helping Gabriel get better and get used to this whole human thing. There hadn't been much of an opportunity to do that, since the archangel had woken up just today, and obviously, he had taken the loss of his angelic powers in stride, or at least, he hadn't had a breakdown like Sam just a moment ago. Although Sam remembered how painful it had been for Gabriel to feel like a human. Afterwards, when the archangel had woken up again and been fully conscious, there hadn't been any signs of discomfort - yet. The hunter was sure that it would come eventually but thank...whomever for small graces. Sam wouldn't be capable of dealing with an archangel gone mental when he himself had his own issues to overcome. But that wouldn't be Gabriel if he had lost it after waking up after 6 years being dead. Obviously, he didn't remember anything from the time between. Sam was really curious about that place angels went to after death. He should have asked Chuck when he still could.

Sam's musings brought him into a slumber, his eyes slowly closing on their own accord and because of the exhaustion caused by the lack of sleep. Then he fell into a deep sleep. The nightmares had got him immediately like a disease, clinging on him like a mud. Sam hated his too much inventive mind for creating such real-looking dreams. There were no blurry edges in the corners of his vision or weird, unrealistic shit typical for normal dreams. These ones put him through hell and he had lived through the real thing in the Cage. The worst thing about these nightmares was that he couldn't wake up from them. Every time he tried to get out, they pulled him back like a puppet on strings. Sam ran, screamed, killed, lost people in them, but especially felt deeply. He felt everything as if it were real, more than real because all of that went through his soul. And his soul had been a fragile thing since that time when it had been left in the Cage with Lucifer, and then ruined over and over again until Cas had saved him by taking the damage on himself.

This dream was the same as the others Sam had before. All places in new colours, faces of people he had met, people he had saved or killed, everyone. They were staring at him, not even blinking, like statues made of marble, some of them were looking at him with disgust, some with pity. And there, in the middle of that crowd, Dean was lying on the ground, his face dead white, not moving at all with blood on his chest and hands. He still had the Mark on his forearm, holding the first blade in his hand. And then his body twitched abruptly and he sat up with his eyes wide open, and they were demon black. Sam, shocked, couldn't move, couldn't do anything and he just watched how his brother stood up and went to him with the only goal in the dream - to kill him. And Sam would let him, not taking a step back or forward, not stopping him or defending himself. He would let Dean to stab him into his stomach and chest. Fatally wounded, Sam would bleed out and-

_Wake up._

Sam jumped out of the armchair, his heart pounding madly, almost getting out of his chest by the strength of its beats, falling on his knees and palms and hyperventilating. Suddenly, the exhaustion and shock, terror and fear, the last remnants of his nightmare, hit him hard like a strong punch into the chest and he curled up into a fetal position and lied there on the floor, calming himself from the panic attack which hadn't been a unique experience lately.

Sam didn't know for how long he had stayed in such an unnatural position but he must have fallen asleep again because when he finally woke up from the dreamless slumber - a real miracle in his life - he felt terrible. His limbs cramped and his back hurt as he lied on the hard, cold floor. His eyes ached as he rubbed on them and he felt long pulses in his head, stabbing into his brain like needles. All the nerves and muscles twitched violently in his body when he slowly tried to stand up.

The hunter looked at his watch to see that he had been here for almost two hours. Not that Sam didn't need more sleep without nightmares but doing that on the floor wasn't such a good idea, since he felt more exhausted after than before. Although that could be caused by his second breakdown of this day.

"Fuck." Sam muttered angrily, smoothing his hair back from the face and tardily moving from the library to wherever he could distract himself from everything what had happened today. But half way into his room Sam remembered that there was someone else currently occupying his bed, and he stopped abruptly, trying to decide what he should do. Should he go and find another room where he could stay for the night, possibly move his things into it and leave his room for Gabriel, and talk to him tomorrow. _No, I should check on him if he's okay._ Sam thought, looking blankly into the air. So Sam decided to go for the option B, walking the rest of the way towards his room while preparing himself for the upcoming storm of questions, maybe even jokes and stupid remarks how stupid he was and that Gabriel had been right all along, and...

Then he heard it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I promised, here is another chapter :). I hope you'll like it :).
> 
> Thank you all for your comments/kudos/hits. I really appreciate it.
> 
> Also, I wanted to apologize again for any mistakes. Even though I'm not a native speaker, there are things I should know anyway. If you see anything weird or wrong, please, tell me :).

# Chapter 5

The food was nothing special but his human stomach said otherwise. He had never eaten anything non-sweet so quickly, and it was a miracle that after he finished, everything stayed where it should.

Gabriel didn't know that eggs mixed with oil and bacon could taste so good. He hummed appreciatively over the last bite and washed it down with some of that orange juice and water Sam had brought him with the food. All these tastes and flavours and new sensations on his tongue. This was way too good to let it waste. This was true paradise for all his senses. This thing of being a human looked like a gift right now. He realized how stupid he had been when he had wanted the end of this all, when he had forced Winchesters into accepting their roles in the Apocalypse. Now he understood why people had fought so much against the paradise angels had prepared for them. Well, Gabriel guessed it hadn't been the only reason there, they had also battled for their lives. But the food, that was his personal winner... Then sex, obviously.

"Damn humanity," the archangel chuckled and drank the rest of the juice and then put the glass back onto the night table.

"Finally something sweet," Gabriel groaned and sighed in content. He then lied down back on the two pillows he had behind his back and was looking at nothing in particular, just staring at the ceiling without thinking about anything for a while.

At first, he hadn't given much thought of the room he had been staying in or the bed he had been vacating for some time. The archangel hadn't found the room interesting enough to look through its contents, but how could he when thirst and hunger had drained him like a sponge. He hadn't had much energy to control all these human needs he had been having from the second he had woken up and he just realized how stupidly limiting it had appeared to be. All those reactions and feelings and _needs_ had been screwing with his mind but he couldn't do anything about it, not right now anyway.

So Gabriel had too much free time on his hands. Without his powers he couldn't do jack squat. No pranking, no messing with idiots, no sexy times, no creating new places or things, nothing. He didn't have his Dog, either. Gabriel grated his teeth so strongly that it started to hurt him. _That deserved some snack._ He thought happily and snapped his fingers in reflex. But of course, nothing had happened because-

"You, idiot!" he slammed his forehead with his right hand, having realized that it would never work, ever. Gabriel stroked his temples in circles and tried to expel this ache inside his head which was quickly accumulating and pressing on his skull.

"Fuck this," the archangel exclaimed as he attempted to sit up. Unfortunately, Gabriel hit the buffers right at the start. His legs - oh, yeah, they were his now - didn't cooperate with his mind. He desperately needed to engage his brain and distract himself by doing whatever, maybe he could browse the room and things in it. They said the curiosity killed the cat. Well, Gabriel didn't care much about cats anyway. He was a dog person. However, now he was also an invalid and even more dependent on Sam, who had run away from him, and oh, wait for it, just because of his damned nosiness and curiosity, and cats. _Cats are always to blame._

Gabriel tried to move his toes, that shouldn't be so difficult. And he did. _What an accomplishment._ He thought grouchily. _And now slowly sit and walk around the room, that would be enough for today._ But he felt too weak and exhausted just thinking about spending so much energy into such a limited movement.

"For fuck's sake, how humans even survived?!! This is insane. I just ate so many calories, what else do you want?!" he gesticulated wildly at himself as at the body he was now trapped in. As if the body had its own head and didn't obey him on purpose like a obstinate child.

"At least my hands are working and I can actually eat and drink on my own. Damn this and its family." Gabriel pouted and was staring angrily at the sheets as if he could see through and aimed the deadly stare at his unmoving legs. "Dad? If you switched over on the channel about my life, are you happy now?" the archangel said into the room, waiting for a reaction, any reaction. He clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes into two slits, sending frustrated vibes into the air.

This room was suffocating him. And Gabriel had just woken up and eaten something in here, and he was getting crazy already. He hadn't been used to spending so much time in one place, and certainly not having such restricted movement as he'd been experiencing right now. And Sam was Dad knew where. Gabriel couldn't even call him or snap him into the room, nothing.

Bored, frustrated and angry in one little package. If the archangel had his powers right now, he would have burnt down this whole building, or whatever it was.  Add tired and hungry again to it and that could be called torture. His sweet tooth now killing him because he couldn't conjure up some delicious pies and candy with a snap of his fingers. There were no magazines on the table, nothing to do and Sam still wasn't coming back.

"This is madness. What should I do?!" Gabriel growled, twisting the sheets in his fists and trying to come up with something that was possible to do in the bed. But even humans got bored when ill by staying in bed for too long. Gabriel's mind was fully awake but his body couldn't do what he wanted, what he needed.

The archangel punched into the mattress, thinking that by this he would get some of his frustration off of his system. But he nearly hurt himself by hitting his own legs, since his movements were still quite uncoordinated. It had been a near miss and that just got him worked up even more.

Gabriel tried to turn onto his side so that he could reach into the first drawer of the night table. This was probably Sam's room and Gabriel just couldn't resist the chance to rummage through the hunter's stuff even though he hadn't got the permission. _Who cared_.

And he had found a jackpot.

"What do you say." Gabriel's eyes brighten up upon finding _some_ magazines. And he would have never thought that Sam read these. The archangel laughed out loud, having his typical mirth in his eyes and his lips twitched in a familiar smirk. Gabriel pulled out one of the magazines and started to leaf through it, humming appreciatively at times when he saw someone particularly attractive. When he finished, he just stuffed it back into the drawer and took out the other one.

"And look at that. Ha! Sammy, you naughty boy. I had no idea." Gabriel whistled happily, thumbing through the second magazine, his eyes bright like a child at Christmas. This he was going to enjoy, surely. "Oh, no, no, no, no..." the archangel tossed the magazine away and crossed his arms over his chest, again pouting like a child whom someone brought a present at said Christmas but then found out it's not for him. Gabriel realized, though as a human he would feel everything more intensely, at least he hoped so, there was also a drawback. He wouldn't last as long as he wanted, he wasn't going to go on and on, reaching multiple orgasms, and all that good about sex. He wasn't going to know everything about his partner just by looking into their eyes and see into their soul. Gabriel was charming and very good, amazing he would say, at flirting and wooing, enticing everyone around him by his positive personality - and okay, with his powers - _if_ he wanted, but people expected something more than this, they expected both perfect character _and_ performance. His vessel's body, _his_ body, didn't belong to the higher league. He was short, average with too thin lips and high forehead, but he would always make up for it by the performance, by knowing what the other wanted completely into details.

"Damn it all to hell, how am I supposed to do this without knowing shit like that! I can't even snap up anyone." Frustrated, Gabriel threw the magazines away on the floor and rubbed his exhausted eyes, willing his appetite for candy and half hard on to go away. Even though Gabriel's sex drive had always been pretty high, he wasn't going to masturbate, no fucking way.

And that was exactly the moment when he decided to blow the caution into the winds and stand up, whatever would happen. Gabriel would even crawl to the door and get out of this suffocating room. Just the idea of being out and be able to see and touch something else was freeing. Sam's room was too plain on personal things. The hunter had some books lying around, but nothing interesting enough for the archangel - except the magazines - and he had read them all at least once already.

Gabriel pushed the blanket aside and shifted his body so that his legs fell down from the bed and his feet landed on the cold floor. He hissed on the impact, shocked by the icy sparks the floor had left on his skin.

"That was the easiest part." Gabriel mused out loud, his tongue caught between his teeth in concentration. The archangel leant with his palms onto the mattress and tried to pull himself up. But Gabriel was so surprised by the successful standing up, he didn't anticipated that his head would fail him big time. The archangel got dizzy in a sudden change of pressure and fell, taking the tray down with him as he attempted to catch hold of the night table.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is getting ridiculous!" He cursed, frustrated by his clumsiness and inability to even stand. Luckily, there was no food or juice on the tray, just some water, so Gabriel at least didn't get dirty or sticky in the process. And then he noticed this urge of something, he felt this weird pressure around his stomach and...

"Oh, no, no, no, you don't. Don't even dare to go and have this nasty need right fucking now. Ugh. Why are you doing this." the archangel cursed his bodily functions and human needs as if they were alive and playing with him. Gabriel hadn't even heard someone coming into the room, continuing the whole tirade as he was being pulled up and back onto the bed with strong arms around his torso. And after having calmed himself, he noticed the other man standing a few steps away from him, looking at him intently and waiting.

Gabriel didn't know what to say, didn't want to say anything, still pissed off and confused by everything around him. This humanity thing sucked big time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand, here it is, another chapter! Sooner than I planned. Are you happy? :D
> 
> I'm especially proud of this chapter. Haha. It is quite funny :D. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did when writing it!
> 
> As always, I appreciate every comment/kudos/hits you gave me:).

# Chapter 6

And...

Then he heard it. A bang and two crashes of something that sounded much like a glass dropping down on the floor and something falling with it. He burst into the room in quick, trained motions and then he saw Gabriel lying on the ground next to the bed, cursing so loudly and colourfully for an archangel that the believers would cry if they'd heard him. Even Sam didn't swear that much, and Gabriel's vocabulary was quite rich in the curses, and not just in one language, either. Sam recognized some Enochian insults which he remembered from the time in the Cage when he had witnessed quite a contest between Lucifer and Michael insulting each other.

In two swift and long strides, Sam was at Gabriel's side, putting his strong arm over the archangel's back, helping him stand and sit onto the bed while listening to another stream of swearing words.

"Fuck this body! I can't do this. I hate it. I'm pathetic and weak. Don't know where Dad's going with this. Fuck, fuckity, fuck! Ugh." Gabriel finished his tirade angrily and pouted like a small child not getting his candy. Although in Gabriel's case, it could have been true as well. Sam hadn't said a thing during the whole ordeal of his patience and right after having put the archangel wholly onto the bed, he stood up and stepped back a bit so not to be too close to Gabriel. The archangel calmed himself and then gazed up at Sam. There was a pause for a few minutes.

"I know you'll probably hate me for this but I'll ask anyway. Are you alright? I mean, do you need anything, anything at all." Sam said patiently, expecting another tirade about the archangel not requiring any help from him, a puny human, but the hunter didn't want to give him much of a chance to start again. Though, the only thing he'd got was an exasperated stare from Gabriel, so he continued.

"Don't give me that look, Gabriel. There's nothing wrong about asking for help. But, if you want me to back off, I will, just a word and I leave. Though, I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm not sure if it's wise to refuse my help. Just saying. I'm here and I _wanna_ help you." Sam said firmly, his brows lifted as if daring Gabriel to disagree with his reason.

"Alright, alright, you won." Gabriel murmured, rolling his eyes. He looked at his legs in surrender. After a moment the archangel opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it right afterwards, staying quiet and still like a statue. It was such an atypical position for Gabriel. He had always been in motion, jumping around, saying jokes, teasing, flirting, smiling. Sam somehow missed this side of Gabriel's personality. And the hunter had to admit that he even needed this positivity right now, because who else was going to brighten up the atmosphere in the bunker. Sam couldn't convince himself to feel positive.

"Okay." Sam acknowledged and added. "So I ask you again, do you want my help with anything?"

"I just..." Gabriel hesitated but after a few seconds he sighed in capitulation. "This is so embarrassing. Even for me, and I was a fucking archangel. Alright, I just, I need to pee. That's it. Now, you can laugh all you want. Not that I wouldn't deserve it or anything..." Gabriel looked up at Sam and stopped abruptly, seeing him smiling. "Dammit, Sam, why are you smiling? I know it must be funny to you but I can't go there on my own, as you can see. " Gabriel pointed at his useless legs, probably getting used to the fact that they were for walking and muscles had to adjust to the whole thing first. Sam came to the bed and motioned with his right hand.

"Come on. Lean on me. It's not too far." Sam said, still smiling and thinking about Gabriel's request and how humiliating it must have been for him to admit it, though the archangel had overcome it in the end and asked the hunter for help. Sam knew it wasn't going to be easy with Gabriel, being such a smartass and all, but he sure as hell recognized the archangel giving him an olive branch and a chance to live with each other in the same place. And Sam was going to meet him halfway.

****

Sam would be lying if he said that he hadn't found Gabriel's complaints about his current predicament of being a human quite amusing. The archangel was kind of hilarious sometimes when he described all the bodily fluids and annoying human functions and reactions to random things. Sam couldn't imagine the feeling to suddenly have to deal with all that. The hunter would bet that while in a human body with all the angelic powers at hand it must have been fun for Gabriel, hiding among people and stabbing them unexpectedly from behind. No pun intended. But now, the archangel found it either boring or annoying, and it wouldn't be Gabriel if he hadn't talked about it all the time and pointed out the details to Sam whenever and wherever they bumped into each other in the halls of the bunker. And that was pretty often, since they lived there together.

There were also those times when Gabriel was moping all day, roaming the bunker, doing nothing and having a sour look on his face. That was an indication Gabriel was bored to death. At those times, Sam would hide himself into the library and tried not to think about the archangel and what he had been up to.

Sometimes Sam would ask if Gabriel wanted his help with anything but the archangel always whined about him not being an invalid and useless idiot so that he would need Sam's assistance. And then the hunter would find broken plates and glasses on the floor of the kitchen, an opened fridge and burnt dishcloths, once even burnt eggs on a frying pan and it was Teflon.

The kitchen had been the worst, as if a bomb landed there just that morning. The bathroom was somehow in a better state, though Sam regretted the moment when he had told Gabriel to use as much hot water as he wanted, adding "there is a lot of hot water in the tanks, it's no problem." He thought he was being nice, caring and empathetic as always. But after a few days he could see that Gabriel loved taking hot, and especially long, showers. And, as if once a day wasn't enough, sometimes the archangel would shower twice a day and while at it, he would sing weird songs with even weirder lyrics and he was being deliberately loud. _What a treat_. Sam thought.

Sam had been used to such a thing from Dean. Although, his brother always used to be the one who had complained about Sam's long showers. Sam would be the last one to admit such a thing.

The hunter smiled subtly upon the memory of Dean's whining remarks about Sam's habits and having more hair products than a girl, calling him Samantha. The hunter loved those times and missed them most of all.

Gabriel was a bit like Dean in a way, though they had never liked each other. The archangel loved candy, and pies especially, like Dean. He watched TV quite regularly and, wait for it, enjoyed Doctor Sexy series. That hadn't been a surprise for Sam at all as he remembered that time in the TV land and Gabriel playing the character. Apparently, the archangel wasn't good enough a fan to know details like Doctor Sexy's wearing cowboy boots. That had been how Dean had recognized him after all.

The other thing Sam had registered was that Gabriel was a shameless flirt. If he could, he would go outside and brought into the bunker every stranger willing to go with him for whatever he wanted them for, a detail Sam never wanted to know, ever! Of course, Sam had immediately forbidden Gabriel to take anyone in there. If Gabriel wanted someone for sex or orgies, or whatever, he would have to go to a motel. Since the archangel didn't have any money and couldn't get some for himself, a lazy ass, and Sam would never give him any for spending it on sex, Gabriel would have to use his charms on people so that they would pay for him. Of course, Gabriel bitched about it for a while but in the end he gave up.

***

After a week or two of living together in the bunker, Gabriel's habits leaving stuff everywhere, not putting things back where they belonged, had been getting on Sam's nerves. He always presumed that he was a patient person. He had lived with Dean, dammit. But this? This was obviously another trial testing him whether he would kick Gabriel out of there or just get over it eventually. Or killed him. Some things Sam didn't really mind. For example, Gabriel's loud singing in the bathroom - it was funny sometimes - or leaving dishes on the table in the living room, or that the archangel didn't clean after himself. That had been okay. Sam had been used to it from Dean.

At first, when Gabriel had appeared in the bunker, and especially, in his room and bed, Sam had been kind of glad that he wasn't going to be on his own in there. Sometimes he had even got paranoid just over dark corners and rooms, or a stupid flicker of lights during a storm. Well, who wouldn't be after dealing with the Darkness? Sam had appreciated Gabriel's easy personality. He was funny and chatty. When having breakfast lunch or dinner with enough sugar, the archangel would talk about his life, stories about his mischievous adventures. And Sam enjoyed them, even though Gabriel's methods had been sometimes too drastic and cruel. As the hunter had known too well personally.

However, what was enough was enough.

One day, Sam was sitting in the armchair, lazing around, reading a magazine about nature and new scientific discoveries, when he heard loud rustling noises going from the outside of the main door and then a couple of knock or taps on them. It made him wary and he quickly prepared for anything coming inside. Grabbing Ruby's knife into his right hand, Sam jumped up from the armchair and stepped around the corner of the room so he would be able to see them first without them noticing him.

Sam was standing behind the corner, waiting for what was going to happen next, but then he realized that Gabriel had gone out for a walk or whatever. Sam didn't want to know so he didn't ask either. It was strange that the hunter hadn't even noticed that the obnoxious little archangel had been missing for the whole day. But even if Gabriel was coming back, what were those noises following him down on the stairs.

And then he saw.

Gabriel was descending the stairs and cooing over something he was holding in his arms, covered with something that looked like a blanket Sam had once borrowed him, because the little shit felt too cold when watching TV.

Anyway, Gabriel had stopped on the last stair and started talking quietly to the thing in his arms again. Sam didn't understand how it had happened. How had it been possible to never notice where Gabriel had been going or whom he had been visiting. The hunter always thought that the archangel had been looking for someone to satisfy his sexual urges, or whatever. But now he knew.

"Gabriel, is that what I think it is?" Sam walked out from behind the corner, still holding the knife firmly in his fist, and he was coming closer to the archangel, to see that yes, it was real and not just his creative imagination. Gabriel froze and looked at Sam, covering it more into the blanket so that Sam couldn't see. But it was too late and the archangel knew. His eyes were in a pleading mode immediately, his puppy dog eyes rivalled even Sam's, and that was saying something about their power.

Sam looked at the bundle in Gabriel's arms and waited for the archangel to answer him, to clear this out and tell him that it was just his imagination playing tricks on him after all. But when he gazed up again, he saw the determination in Gabriel's eyes.

"YES, okay?! Yes, Sam, it _is_ a dog. _My_ dog! And you have no right to tell me I can't have him around. You don't, because," Gabriel's stuttered a bit and was searching for the right words to say. "Because I love dogs." he admitted resignedly and continued. "Before, when we met for the first time in that college, I'd been living in there for a while and had my own flat, and I had a dog, Russell terrier. And I miss him, alright? And you can't stop me to have at least one thing just for myself." The archangel finished in a serious tone, almost begging Sam on his knees, at least figuratively, but never backing away from his decision to bring a dog into the bunker.

The archangel didn't wait for Sam to react as he walked out of the room, probably into his own, with his dog in his arms. The hunter was looking blankly at the spot where Gabriel had been standing just a minute ago, and tried to get his head around the idea of having a dog in this place.

Sam had always wanted a dog. Of course, as a son of a hunter he had never had a chance to really experience a feeling to have a pet, since they had lived on the road. And even though sometimes Sam had thought about it, living in the bunker and all, he couldn't do it to the animal. There wouldn't have been anyone to care for the dog when he had to go away on a hunt.

But now, when Gabriel had decided for him, Sam just shrugged it off and said, "why not", and went back to the armchair, humping into it like a bag of potatoes, continuing reading and lazing around as if nothing had changed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers,
> 
> As always, another update on Saturday :). I hope you'll like it. I would love to get some feedback from you, anything really, whether it is a positive comment or negative one. I also appreciate every kudos/hits you give me. I love this story and I really want to finish it:).
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

# Chapter 7

It had been a couple of weeks when he had woken up into the world of living, though without his archangelic powers. Being a new member of humanity and with all the knowledge of the archangel, Gabriel had experienced many difficulties and struggles as he had been adjusting to this downgraded state of his life, and to keep his positive and cheerful mood had become quite a challenge.

After everything Gabriel had been through, all the pain he had felt when roused from the dead, the archangel had been very grateful that his Father hadn't put him somewhere among strangers, but he had appeared in a place where he might not have been welcomed all that much, though at least Sam was familiar to him and didn't really hate him as Gabriel thought he would.

Gabriel knew that it was hard for Sam to live with him in the same place after everything the archangel had put him through. Moreover, Dean was probably dead, or lost, because Gabriel couldn't imagine the brothers out of each other's reach just like that. This must have been big, something was wrong but Sam still didn't tell him what had happened. Gabriel was very curious and another time he would just keep asking Sam until the hunter gave up and either kick him out, or spill it out for him. But this time? This time Gabriel didn't even make a peep about it. The archangel realized how difficult it must have been for Sam to lose his brother, and even though Gabriel had killed the older hunter many times and tried to show them thus how dependent they were on each other, in retrospect, it had been a very cruel way to do it. The archangel had gone through a similar thing after all. Gabriel had also lost older brothers, one in particular, who had been the death of him, literally.

Gabriel wondered what had happened to his brothers, what had happened to Heaven and others. But somehow, he didn't know how to approach this topic and didn't want to disturb Sam's privacy. That was quite unlike him, he realized. But who was he kidding. Gabriel needed Sam. He didn’t have anywhere else to go and definitely wasn’t going to ask someone from his old ‘friends’ for help. The archangel had been refusing Sam’s help since that one moment when he hadn’t even been able to stand on his own.

Their life together had been on edge for the whole time, since the archangel had appeared in Sam's room and become the permanent resident of the bunker - that was how Sam called his home. Although they had meals and watched TV together sometimes, Gabriel could feel weird vibes streaming from Sam, sometimes he could even see how tense the hunter was in his presence. Gabriel knew that Sam couldn't sleep, often hearing him wander around the bunker at night or early morning, trying to fall asleep by reading in the library, or working out in a provisory gym, and thus exhausting himself into oblivion. However, the archangel knew that it hadn't helped after every such morning as he clearly saw Sam tiredly make coffee and drink almost the whole pot of it. His eyes were sunken and there were dark circles under them. No sleep, no much fun, no privacy because of Gabriel, no brother. Gabriel didn't know the details of Sam's life but it was clear as a day that this way of living was going to kill him, slowly and painfully.

When Gabriel had met Sam for the first time, the hunter's life had been much different. There was sorrow and pain within, suppressed into the ball of revenge and sense of righteousness, and plus, he had had demon blood inside of him at that time. Gabriel had been able to see that, but he had also seen how pure at heart Sam had been. Now, now Gabriel regretted one thing, that he wasn't able to see through that purity enough to realize that that white light had been trying to fight the destiny itself, and he hadn’t helped Sam at all, more like the opposite.

That was how Gabriel had started telling Sam colourful stories about his life and his mischievous games with other gods and especially, bad people - in other words, punishing assholes. The archangel understood that it could have made the state of things worse between them, because Sam had been one of the victims of his cruel games and miscalculated sense for rightness. But still, it had been the only thing he could offer to Sam. To cheer him up a bit. And yes, it had worked often, fortunately.

When they watched TV together, Gabriel always commented on various TV shows and how he would have done it better, mentioning the TV land and all the props he had created for the brothers. It had been fun for him, not so much for Sam and his brother at that time. But it seemed not to bother Sam too much anymore. He had even laughed once or twice, smiling at the other times, surely remembering funny moments with his brother.

Of course, Gabriel's struggles with humanity, attempts to find his place in the world, looking for his own ways how to work in here as a human, had been a trial for Sam's patience as well. The archangel had broken some things, messed up the pan on which he had tried to cook something - and it hadn't meant to be just for him. Gabriel just didn't know what to do with himself at almost all times in the bunker. Bored as hell itself, frustrated by all the human needs and weaknesses his new body had brought into his life. Gabriel had been used to doing something all the time. Messing around with idiots, making up creative ways how to punish them. It had been easy and fun. But now, he couldn't do shit like that even if he tried. Sam would ask him if he needed help, Gabriel would say no, because hello, he was still a trickster and not an invalid. But their life together had been generally weird and tense. There were calm and comfortable moments between them, however, that was the problem right there - they were just moments. The archangel knew about himself that he was loud and sometimes arrogant, teasing Sam constantly about his hair and habits. But Sam with his patient and kind personality, though tried immensely, tolerated it. Gabriel was just waiting for the moment when Sam would have enough all the shit the archangel put him through, past and present, and kicked him out of his home. Although Gabriel was now human, he wasn’t going to change all that much. Powers gave him more possibilities, but he could also do things without them.

Sam had forbidden him visitors. Gabriel just needed to socialize and have some contact with the outside world. The hunter would sometimes go out for a bite or a drink, winning them some money in the meantime, and he would invite Gabriel to go with him and learn. The archangel would always accept  the invitation and used this opportunity to chat up someone and had some sexy times with them. Although, when it had happened for the first time, he had realized one very unpleasant fact; that he was a virgin - in this completely human body at least - and needed protection, and his non-existent angel blade hadn’t been on his mind. That first time had been awkward and a disaster for him and his rich sexual life.

Sam somehow knew what had happened that night and wanted to show him where to find the supplies they had stashed with his brother.

"Sam? Where are we going?" Gabriel said when they arrived into the bunker after the worst night he'd ever experienced in his long life. It had been the most embarrassing moment Gabriel had ever gone through. And that was something he had never felt before - embarrassment. He had even blushed, though he would never admit it to anyone, not even to himself. But Sam had another idea as he lead him to some place Gabriel had never been to and he had searched through most of the rooms in the bunker already.

"Just... shut up and listen. This is embarrassing even for me. I'd've never imagined I'm gonna have this talk with you." Sam said as he stopped abruptly in the hall and turned around to face Gabriel directly. "Oh my God. I can't believe I'm doing this." the hunter muttered and sighed deeply. There was a short pause and then Sam added in surrender, "You need protection." Gabriel didn’t understand why Sam was so flustered by telling him about a protection. Of course, he needed a gun or something now, when he was human and all. Running around with no means of defending himself? Not a good idea. Gabriel possessed the knowledge of an archangel. If someone found out Gabriel was alive and kicking with no powers what so ever, that would be awkward, at the very least, painful more likely. But when Gabriel looked at Sam and saw his reddened cheeks and averted eyes, rubbing his face with his palms and smoothing his hair back nervously, the archangel replayed Sam’s words once more in his mind, and then it had hit him like a baseball bat into his face.

"No, no, no, no. Don't you dare, Sam. What the fuck. I'm a grown whatever, man, you can't possibly think that I need you for this. No. Big _no_." Gabriel was slowly moving backwards, his eyes wide like a deer in the headlights, still facing Sam just to be sure the hunter wasn't going to sit him down somewhere and talk to him about sex as if he were a human teenager.

"Gabriel, you are human now. You can't just fuck around and think that's alright, that you're gonna be okay. There are things that can _hurt_ you. You have to be careful. So stop this childish whining and take what you need and _use_ it." Sam finished strongly, no patience in his voice, staring determinedly into Gabriel's eyes and not giving him any chance to defy him.

"Sam," Gabriel whined. "For Father's sake, this is ridiculous and humiliating on top of that. I might be human but I know about these things. More than you do, kiddo." But even though the archangel said it jokingly, Sam just crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Gabriel until the archangel gave up and nodded in understanding, behaving exactly like a teenager.

"And Gabriel?" Sam was really trying not to smile. Gabriel could see it and it was a very nice look on the hunter. The corners of his mouth twitched uncontrollably upwards and small dimples were slowly appearing on his cheeks.

"Yes, nanny?" Gabriel asked exasperatedly, exhaling loudly in annoyance. Sam laughed out loud at the name the archangel used for him and now the dimples were completely visible for the world to see.

"Just...be careful, alright? It's dangerous to be human. I've already seen it once." The hunter said with a serious tone in his voice, watching the archangel intently. It was such an unfamiliar thing to see on someone else's face. That shut Gabriel up and he was standing there shocked with his eyes wide as Sam turned around and walked away, leaving him there alone with all those weird feelings and fluttering somewhere in the area of the human stomach. It was strange because he wasn't even hungry.

He had still been gaping into the hall blankly and thinking about Sam's kind words, frowning in concentration as if trying to determine the meaning of it all. After some time, he had woken up from his stupor and decided to go and sleep on it. He would go and rummage through the supplies tomorrow. Whatever and wherever they were.

Yes, that had been his first huge embarrassing moment, and hopefully the last one as well.

The archangel had got used to taking these precautions quite quickly. Still, he couldn't bring anyone into the bunker. And as he realized after a couple of other less humiliating meetings, without a slight use of his powers, Gabriel hadn't been such a popular guy in the bars. Sam would have been more successful if he hadn't lived like a hermit. Anyway, apparently Gabriel's body belonged into an average category, and that just wasn't enough for the majority of people he had met and talked to. Whatever Sam had thought about him, his sexy times had been almost non-existent.

Gabriel craved for contact, any contact. He just needed some creature around him, someone - or something - who would stay with him and like him. And that was how the archangel had come up with the idea of getting a dog. _His_ dog.

Of course, it hadn't been easy to do. Especially so, since he couldn't tell Sam where he had been going to all those afternoons.

Gabriel had stumbled on a flyer of the animal shelter just a few days after he had finally got out of the bunker and could freely roam the town without Sam following him around. There had been the problem of transport, of course. If he wanted to go somewhere further away, Gabriel would have to ask Sam to take him there. In this case, he had to go and manage the trips by the public transportation and on his own. Moreover, there had been a problem with money but at those times, Gabriel would just ask Sam for some money, saying it was spent on candy, and the hunter had never protested about that, somehow resigned to his addiction. Although the archangel had to go through abstinence of sugar, it had been worth every damn day. The fake ID Gabriel had got from Sam helped a great deal and it hadn't taken him much to convince people from the shelter that he was going to love his new pet. That dog was just incredible and an excellent partner in crime for the archangel. Love at the first sight. On both sides.

So when he got to the bunker with the dog in his arms, covered with a blanket, he hoped that Sam had gone out for a drink or something and Gabriel would pass through the main hall to his room unnoticed. Apparently, Luck had gone for a vacation because not only had Sam seen him coming back, but he had also noticed the animal in his arms.

Honestly, Gabriel had expected Sam to judge him, to kick him out right then and there, and his dog with him, or give him some kind of ultimatum, to pack his few things - borrowed or stolen - and go to where he came from. But it never happened. Sam never protested or argued about him taking a dog into his home without his permission. Be it a stranger, it would have been more difficult, more like impossible, for Gabriel. But a dog was obviously an exception and Sam would never know how important it had been for the archangel to be allowed to have his own pet.

The archangel felt weird sensations inside of him. His pulse sometimes quickened and his heart started beating faster and stronger when he thought about Sam and his kind and caring behaviour towards him. Gabriel had never experienced such reactions, yet it wasn't unpleasant or anything. It was just unusual and unknown and the archangel hated unknown.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> I'm here again with another update for you. As I promised! Every Saturday at the very least. It's been quite hectic lately in my personal life and work but I'm really trying to finish this.  
> Again, if you see something wrong, be it my English or inconsistency of the story, please, let me know :).
> 
> I want to thank you all for your kudos/hits and of course I would appreciate comments, anything you want to tell me.
> 
> Enjoy!

# Chapter 8

After meeting the new member of their living together, Sam hadn't seen Gabriel for the rest of that day, and the following day wasn't any different. It was weird but not unusual. These last few days Gabriel had been acting strangely, and then suddenly Sam realized that the indicators of something going on with the archangel had been there in front of him all along. The hunter just hadn't paid enough attention to the things around him, since he had been quite distracted with himself, trying to find something to do. That meant searching for a hunt or two just to get into things again.

But even Sam needed to relax, clear his mind and loosen up a bit. Since it was a Friday night, he planned to go for a drink or two, and as always, he wanted to invite Gabriel to go with him and get to know each other more. They had been living together for almost three weeks and Sam had the feeling that they hadn't got much more familiar over that time. Although the hunter felt better and didn't get tense every damn time Gabriel walked out behind the corner with his cheery attitude and smirk on his face, he just couldn't ease his mind enough to enjoy the company and the positivity the archangel had brought into the bunker. Sam's mood hadn't improved much but he was sure that it was caused more by the lack of sleep rather than the archangel living there with him.

His nightmares were exactly that - nightmares. He had dreamt about his brother and other people he adored and loved who were now dead or lost somewhere between. Who the hell knew anything these days. Gabriel's appearance hadn't been an accident. It had been quite convenient, since without caring for the archangel and teaching him things around the bunker, Sam would have lost his mind already and maybe even got himself killed. That was how he had rolled before Gabriel.

It seemed that Gabriel's presence had given him a reason to keep going and eventually move on with his life. Of course, Sam wasn't over his brother's sacrifice and death. That was never going to happen, ever. But it _was_ getting better and better to just be, to exist in the world alone, or not, actually. The archangel - and for Sam, Gabriel would never be anyone else than an archangel - had messed up a lot of things. He had wronged Sam a few times, but being human had given Gabriel another perspective on their lives. The archangel wasn't too nosy or forceful when asking questions and he would entertain Sam during their meals together, trying to engage him into conversation every time possible. And Sam realized that he admired him more and more. After all, Gabriel's life had changed completely without him even knowing or wanting it. And Sam remembered quite well how difficult it had been for Cas, who was still missing, and without any means to contact him, the hunter just had to admit that if Cas was alive, he would have given him a call already.

Sam tossed the book he had been reading for a few hours on the table with a loud thud and pushed his laptop aside, the screen illuminating the furniture around him. He then rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes, sighing loudly. He stood up, heading to the kitchen, since it was Gabriel's usual hiding place. But when Sam came into the kitchen, Gabriel wasn't there. The archangel wasn't even in the library or his room, which was very strange and worrying. Sam couldn't track him by the wrappers from candy lying on the floor or any loud sounds or noisy singing streaming from the bathroom. Gabriel just wasn't to be found in the bunker.

Sam started to run around the bunker, searching every damn room in it, imagining the worst scenarios possible, how Gabriel had opened some artefact in the storage and got himself cursed or worse - killed, or left the bunker without Sam knowing, which had happened once or twice already. And then when Sam ran into the main room and up the stairs leading outside, from behind the main door he heard a dog barking and happy laugh mixed together.

It was such a beautiful sound that Sam stood there, frozen in the middle of the room, just listening to it, soaking himself in it, almost bathing in it as though it was giving him life energy, as if he was a dying man drinking water from the well in the desert oasis.

The hunter grabbed his wallet and keys and went up the stairs out from the bunker, towards laughing Gabriel and his barking and yapping dog. When Sam opened the door, he saw the archangel playing with his dog, or more like a puppy, laughing loudly without any restraint and it brightened Gabriel's whole face, his hair dishevelled from running around, his cheeks reddened from the cold wind outside. It was such an amazing sight that Sam caught himself smiling at them as well. Gabriel's cheerful and playful personality was very infectious, and Sam couldn't help himself anymore.

Obviously, the archangel didn't register Sam's presence outside or that he was being watched by the hunter in awe as he was running after his dog like crazy, shouting and laughing happily.

However after a couple of minutes, something must have caught Gabriel's attention, since he turned around and looked Sam straight into his eyes. Sam was gazing at him, without a blink, seeing that familiar mirth in Gabriel's eyes and one corner of his mouth quirked upwards as if planning some kind of a trick in his mind. After a few moments, Sam got out of his reverie, or more like staring contest with Gabriel, he shook his head and averted his eyes on the ground in front of himself, still smiling subtly and trying not to blush at the same time, because Gabriel had caught the hunter watching him in such astonishment that if Dean had witnessed it, he would have gagged at the sight of them.

"I just... Uhm..." Sam stuttered over the words, blushing again at his sudden inability to express himself properly. "I'm heading out for a drink. Wanna come with me?" The hunter asked quickly, shuffling around nervously as he waited for Gabriel to answer him.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Just let me fetch my jacket and we can go." the archangel said breathlessly, heading to the door of the bunker, his dog following him closely. But then he stopped right in front of Sam and turned around to face him, looking up into his eyes.

"And Sam?" Gabriel said.

"Yeah?" Sam said back, not sure what the archangel wanted to tell him.

"Thanks." And that surely wasn't what the hunter expected. Not at all.

"For what?" Sam asked in surprise with a frown.

"Huh... I... you know. For not kicking me out of here." Gabriel looked away, watching his dog hopping around their legs, its tongue wobbling out of his mouth, barking happily. Sam couldn't take his eyes off Gabriel's face, trying to understand what had had insinuated this kind of behaviour in the archangel. "And, sorry for not telling you about the dog."

"It's okay, Gabriel. I don't mind. Is it he or she?" Sam said with a smile on his face, watching the dog playing with an old piece of rag, biting into it and tearing it up into shreds.

"Really? Well, alright. Huh. It's him but I don't wanna give him a name 'cause names are very powerful and could hurt. And the last one's was the same." Gabriel shifted his weight and Sam could see him blush a bit, surely upon realizing what he had just revealed about his past life.

"Okay, he's your dog. I don't have a say in it anyway." Sam said truthfully, assuring the archangel that it really didn't bother him at all. "And I'm not sure where you got the idea I'd kick you out. Oh, don't get me wrong, you _are_ annoying sometimes, but you know me, I'd never do it to you after all you've been through." Sam finished with a serious tone but after a silent moment added, "Alright, no more chick flick moments for today." the hunter grimaced as he realized that had always been Dean's line. "Still wanna come with me?"

"Hellz, yeah." the archangel exclaimed and smiled mischievously, his familiar smirk returning onto his face. They had been standing there for a few seconds, not looking at each other, just thinking about what had been said earlier. Then Gabriel turned around, heading into the bunker to take what he needed for the evening.

"And Gabriel, you can take your dog with you. I like him." Sam shouted after him, realizing after a few minutes that the dog wasn't the only one he liked. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And because I couldn't wait any longer, there is another update! Just for you, my lovely readers!
> 
> I really hope that you'll like this chapter as well. I feel that it could have been better but the response from you is more important to me.
> 
> Thank you again for every kudos/hit and comment you're willing to give me :).

# Chapter 9

Gabriel woke up having no idea about the time, since the room didn't have any windows and the clocks on the night table weren't working, showing him still the same red numbers. The archangel was too lazy to try and fix it by himself, and asking Sam for help was out of the question.

He stared at the ceiling for a while, thinking about the things he could be doing right now if he had his powers back, but no miracles were in his Father's agenda for today, or tomorrow, or ever, apparently.

His dog was lying at his side on the blanket, snoring slightly, not minding that Gabriel was already awake. The archangel tossed the blanket away, covering the animal with it almost completely, and rolled out of the bed. Sam's bed, he realized. It was strange that the hunter didn't want his room back, though the archangel didn't want to mention it. He had got used to this place and didn't want to move anywhere else.

It had been the whole month since Gabriel had appeared right here, on this mattress, risen from the dead.

If he were honest with himself, Gabriel didn't even remember anything from the time between. There had been nothing. Nothing at all that he could recall from when he had been dead. He had always wanted to know where angels would go if they had died. His Father would talk about humans and their coming to Heaven, but nothing about the place for angels. Of course, they hadn't talked about them dying, ever. The only one that could kill an angel would be another angel so nobody had mentioned it out loud, though there had been whispers about places beyond their home, about Heaven for them.

Gabriel had always been curious and wanted to know everything. Not knowing was something he really loathed and tried to avoid as much as he could. And if there had been a time he hadn't known something, he would go and find out by asking his older brothers, or search for the truth by himself.

The archangel had this theory that his Father just deleted everything he had gone through in there, somewhere, in Heaven or Hell for angels. He would be traumatized even as an archangel, to be awaken from the dead. But in the state he was in now, Gabriel would never recover from such a shock.

And that wasn't a topic for such an early morning.

Gabriel was sitting there on the bed, rubbing the sleepiness from his eyes and stretching his muscles while listening to the cracks of the joints in his body. At those moments he would realize how old his vessel had been when he had acquired it. But the man was such a funny guy, so similar to the archangel that Gabriel couldn't resist and he convinced him to say yes. Poor sod. When Gabriel had taken over his body, the man had been about to die of pneumonia. Such a good guy dying because of _that_ , but when he thought about it, Gabriel was at the same risk now, being human and all. Anyway, the man had accepted the archangel and lived through all the mischief and punishments of idiots Gabriel had done for some time. Though that story had happened a long, long time ago, and now the guy's soul was somewhere in Heaven, enjoying the perks of accepting an archangel. Gabriel had seen into that. Unlike his brothers, Gabriel valued this acceptance of some people at saying yes to them. Archangels were too powerful and the souls would be destroyed within eventually, so it was up to them if those souls would exist further and go into Heaven.

Upon a sudden realization that he had got distracted again by other thoughts roaming around in his head, Gabriel stood up abruptly, annoyed, and was about to go to shower, which was quite enjoyable and soothing for the archangel. He knew that Sam couldn't stand his loud singing of obscene songs, sometimes banging on the door so that he would shut up, get out and let the hunter have his own moment. Gabriel liked singing and he hadn't even pulled out the best songs from his repertoire.

The archangel trotted towards the drawers and took out some boxers Sam had bought him one day when he had realized Gabriel would need his own clothes. If the archangel had known what Sam had been planning to do, he would have argued about it. Gabriel had never cared for his clothes. He sometimes changed them for the sake of fun or blending into the crowd, but there had never been a need to do that regularly or go shopping for them personally. The archangel could just snap his fingers and magic them into existence and right on his body. But now, he just had to somehow endure that whole thing with putting on clothes and such every damn day.

Fortunately, Sam had done the shopping before Gabriel had been able to walk on his own legs, so the archangel didn't have to spend his youth in the shopping malls with Sam around. The hunter had borrowed him some clothes, old things, but they had been either too big or too old and out of fashion, those Gabriel refused to wear. Sam was such a patient person, Gabriel couldn't even understand how he hadn't kicked him out already.

And exactly these thoughts had been occupying much of his brain processes these days. How come Sam didn't mind his presence in the bunker?

That was a million dollar question right there.

Gabriel had been still rummaging through the drawer when his dog perked up suddenly from under the blanket and barked once on the door. Gabriel was just putting on a pair of some of the new boxers, ready for another day as a human and in that exact moment Sam decided to honour them with his presence. The archangel could hear just his name slightly mumbled from behind the door, still minding his business and trying not to fall when putting clothes on.

"Gabriel!" Sam called as he knocked once on the door and then burst into the room without even waiting for Gabriel's saying a "come in". "Gabriel..." Sam said again when he opened the door, but upon seeing the archangel standing in the middle of the room naked, holding the pair of boxers in his hands and nothing covering his body from the head to toe, the hunter immediately put his palms over his face, covering his eyes and then averting his gaze away from Gabriel. "Oh my God... Sorry... just... I didn't know you were already awake and...errr... I just wanted to tell you there is breakfast for you in the kitchen..."

Gabriel was just trying not to laugh at Sam's sudden embarrassment over his nakedness, stuttering his words out of his mouth as if he had never seen the body of another man. The archangel was still standing there, doing nothing with the situation. Why would he. It was natural, nothing he should be hiding from the world or whatever.

"Jesus, why aren't you wearing any clothes?!" Sam said with a squeak on the last word, horrified by his own voice at that moment, trying to look anywhere but the archangel. Especially his lower parts, Gabriel noticed. _That was interesting_. He thought mentally.

"Well, Sammy boy, as you can see, you're in my room, or I've been sleeping here for a month at least, and I didn't know that it was forbidden to be naked in my own space. Besides, I didn't tell you, you can come in, did I? Though you're acting like you've never seen another man's naked body before. You're a man, for fuck's sake." Gabriel lifted his right eyebrow in question and curiosity, smiling playfully at Sam, still not grabbing any clothes to put them on. He just stood there, crossing his arms over his chest, showing off his quite toned body if he could say so by his own standards. Gabriel watched flustered Sam for a while, who looked away or into his eyes every time he would turn his head to face him, blushing slightly.

"Like what you see, Sammich?" Gabriel teased, being sure that Sam would tell him to go fuck himself but it never came. Instead, he was a witness of even more embarrassed Sam than he had ever seen before. The archangel's mischievous smirk fell and suddenly he started to feel too exposed, realizing his state of nakedness. So he hurried to put on some clothes quickly, muttering in the process. "I'll be there in a moment." Gabriel uttered, not knowing what to think about what had happened just a moment ago, what he had observed on the hunter's face and in his behaviour.

"Yeah, yeah, okay, there's no rush, right?" Sam chuckled nervously and shuffled around, as if deciding whether to run or stay and look, while smoothing his hair back from his face. "I guess I see you there in a bit." Sam said at last, nearly running out of the room.

"Interesting..." Gabriel mused out loud but didn't give it as much thought as he should have. _These reactions were typical for a human_. He shrugged it off and hurrying up with his morning routine. Moreover, he was looking forward to going back to his initial plan to have a shower before breakfast, but this time it wasn't going to take him too long. Sam cooked for him and wanted his company on top of that. That was something he wasn't about to miss out.

***

When they settled together at the same table and dug into the food Sam had prepared, Gabriel noticed Sam watching him out of the corner of his eye. It was subtle and be him someone else, they wouldn't see it, but the archangel was very observant when running on sugar and enough nutrition. Before breakfast, Gabriel didn't care about anything in the world but food and something sugary on his plate, but now when he finally had something flowing in his system, he could see that Sam was acting strangely quiet during their breakfast together. Another time Sam would try and talk with Gabriel about whatever, usually his dog or his life before. But this day was different.

"What's wrong, Sam? Something's happened I should know about?" Gabriel asked bluntly, wanting to know if Sam was being in the mood again so he could cheer him up a bit. Sam's eyes leaving a spot on his plate as the hunter raised his gaze at the archangel, his eyes widening in worry as if Gabriel had caught him stealing something.

"Nothing's wrong. Don't worry... Huh... I just wanted to tell you that I'm going for a hunt today, around two-days ride from here. But! I bought you a phone so you could call me if you need anything." Sam said and took out a mobile phone from the right pocket of his jeans, putting it on the table for Gabriel to take.

"Sam? Do you really think that I'll let you go there alone? Without any backup? Are you insane?" Gabriel raised his voice, staring angrily at Sam, demanding some piece of sanity from the hunter when discussing such things. "I might be a useless shit sometimes, I don't know how to use guns or whatever you humans use, but you can teach me and I wanna help, understand?!"

"Gabriel, it's dangerous and you aren't used to hunting as a human." Sam reasoned but that wasn't the right thing to say. Gabriel hated how useless he had been to Sam. He couldn't cook or get them some money, he didn't clean the bunker... He would just spend time with doing nothing particularly useful to them. So at least, he could help Sam with research, he possessed the knowledge of an archangel after all. How could Sam think that he would stay in the bunker, waiting for Sam to come back. Or not. There was such a possibility too.

"No way, kiddo. You can't force me to stay here and doing nothing while you're somewhere alone, without anyone to be there for you. I can help with the research. Have you forgotten already? I know things you wouldn't find anywhere in the world. I'm going with you and that's final." Gabriel said determinedly, leaving no space for an argument. Fortunately, Sam got the memo and didn't say anything afterwards, just mumbled an "okay" and left it at that.

They set out later that day, Gabriel sitting in the front seat next to Sam who drove them onto their first hunt together. Gabriel's dog was lying in the back, snoring contentedly. The archangel was watching the landscape passing by out of the window, feeling nervous for the first time in his life.

_Oh Father, what a mess I've become._

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I'm quite lucky that I finished this chapter a long time ago because there just wasn't time to write this week. Too busy at work and yesterday (yaay, Friday!) I went to the cinema to see Inferno with Tom Hanks (it was very good, btw). Also, I'm not sure if you know the band, but my favourite band Depeche Mode is planning a tour next year and they're going to be here, so I'm going. I can't wait to hear them live again:).
> 
> As always, I appreciate every kudos/hit/comment you give me:). If you see anything weird, please, let me know.
> 
> If you want to know what I listen to when writing, this is one of the songs:[Guns N' Roses - November Rain](https://youtu.be/s0McfH-hweQ)
> 
> ENJOY!

# Chapter 10

When Sam had planned to go on a hunt, he certainly hadn't count on Gabriel wanting to go with him. It was something the hunter had always done with his brother or alone. From time to time he would require Bobby's help, but otherwise Sam preferred killing monsters his own ways. Even though he was quite dependent on Dean, he didn't want to rely on other hunters.

Hunting was something he knew how to do. The first thing was the research which had been Sam's domain, a skill he had been proud of since his childhood and in school, later at university. Then the usual long drive to the town or place where weird shit happened, kill the monster and go home. There had been nothing else between or aside - straightforward as a line. Sam didn't have to think about other things. Dean would usually care of himself on his own and didn't need much anything else. It had been their strong attribute that they worked together, having each other's back, complement each other's skills, knowing what the other would do in a certain situation when it came. But of course, the downside of this was that they would go to hell and back for each other, literally. And that usually backfired on them. Though family was important to them and they wouldn't let go until one saved the other from the bad guys, either it was demons or angels, or God's sister for that matter. The brothers didn't give a shit what was against them. They had each other and that always went first.

Now Sam was without his brother, so alone it was. He had decided one day that if he didn't want to go insane, the hunter had to do something he was familiar with, and that was hunting.

Although he hadn't imagined Gabriel would be willing to go with him when he uttered the words during the breakfast. It had been something he regretted right after he had said them, because, it was obvious that Gabriel didn't realize how vulnerable he was now, being a human and all. The archangel could get himself hurt or worse, killed. The monsters could recognize him or sense something in him and use it against them both. Sam had to think on these possibilities that Gabriel would become his weakness during hunts because the archangel still didn't understand that fighting with powers was different from having none and have to rely on his human skills.

They hadn't talked about going on hunts together and Sam hadn't even considered such a possibility. Gabriel was usually bored out of his mind, surely wanting to do some mischief or pranks on him or other people but wasn't able to, and thus doing nothing particularly useful. Sam didn't even want him to because the hunter knew that Gabriel had been getting used to this new life, and that was quite difficult and overwhelming itself, giving him a hard time without any other responsibilities around in the bunker. Sam had been used to doing the shopping from earlier with Dean - though sometimes Dean had surprised him - and sometimes also cooking and cleaning. Nothing new for him. And Sam had to admit that Gabriel had been adjusting to this just fine, slowly adapting to the living in the bunker with Sam. And now he had also got a dog and had to care for the animal by himself. Not that Sam didn't want to help him with that but the archangel had just been refusing any help from him since the beginning. The hunter still didn't know the reason why, but he blamed it on Gabriel's strong stubbornness and will to do everything on his own.

Now they both were sitting in the car, Sam's car, since he still couldn't drive Baby because it would cause him heartache and reminded him scenes and situations with his brother that he couldn't digest yet. Sam grabbed the wheel strongly in his fists, clenching his jaw in order not to get a break down again when driving. Gabriel was looking out of the window, watching the landscape passing by, not knowing about Sam's internal struggle. His dog was lying on the backseat, still sleeping, not minding them both. The music was playing from the radio as a quiet background.

Sam cleared his throat as to say something but didn't even know what he wanted to tell Gabriel. Give him some lectures about hunting and then have a brooding archangel in the car for another half-hour drive? That wouldn't be ideal at all.

Gabriel turned his head and looked at Sam's profile, waiting for the hunter to say what he had on his mind. Sam glanced at him shortly and then quickly turned back, facing the road. The archangel had to sense his hesitation in starting a conversation.

"Sam, something on your mind?" Gabriel asked calmly without any undertone in his voice. Waiting patiently for Sam to say what he needed to.

"I just... huh... I didn't tell you what we're gonna hunt actually. So d'you wanna hear it now or after we arrive at the place." Sam asked hesitantly, meaning to tell the archangel something else completely, but changed his mind at the last second.

"Well, it's up to you, right? If you want me to be prepared for whatever we're killing there, sure, let's talk about that." Gabriel said and averted his eyes, looking out of the window again. There was a pause for a moment, Sam was trying to recall every detail he had found about the case, so that he wouldn't forget anything, concentrating on it completely.

"You know..." the archangel said suddenly, turning his head back to Sam, looking at him intently. That the hunter could feel, how Gabriel's eyes were boring into his head, surely trying to determine what Sam was thinking about right now. "I know what you're thinking. Well, not literally, but I can guess." There was a silence for a few beats. "You think that I'm incapable of defending myself now when I'm human, and that I would get myself killed, or you, or anyone else." Gabriel threw his hands into the air and sighed loudly as if he had just admitted and recognized his limits as a human, his voice sounded so resigned. "But you're forgetting that I've been an archangel and I've fought in battles you can't even imagine. I know everything there is about monsters and shit like that, so you can stop worrying about me and direct your focus on things that matter more right now, and that's the way how to kill whatever we're hunting." Gabriel finished firmly. Sam was about to argue but the archangel put his hand over his mouth and said, "No arguments, kiddo. We can discuss me when we arrive. Now, pay attention to the road, Sammy." and with that Gabriel took Sam's chin between his thumb and forefinger, and turned it so that the hunter would face the road once again without any more distractions. Fortunately, the road was straight and without too much traffic.

Sam was flabbergasted by the sudden closeness and familiarity the archangel had showed towards him. And the determination and power in Gabriel's voice indicated how strong he was within. He didn't have his archangelic powers but when it counted he could turn into a very strong individual who believed in his skills. There was no place for joking and pranks and unnecessary flirting. Gabriel was focused on the task ahead of them, it seemed that he trusted Sam to know what was needed and expected Sam to trust him in return. It was so unlike Gabriel and it had surprised Sam so unexpectedly that he felt a weird quickening of his pulse and beating of his heart.

The hunter didn't know how to react to that. He was staring on the road intently, still feeling the touch Gabriel's palm had left on his face. He felt a strong urge to run his fingers over his lips. Sam was just glad that the archangel couldn't hear his thoughts. That would have been awkward as hell. Not a good thing when being in a moving car.

Sam didn't know for how long he had been silent but he needed to say something. Anything really. This silence was suffocating him and he also felt warmth spreading through his whole body and right into his face. That was something he was unable to control, but he couldn't let his treacherous body react to Gabriel's words like that. No way in hell. So he decided to clear his head from such thoughts by talking about the hunt. It was something he was sure of and it would take his mind away from this embarrassing situation in his pants which was becoming quite clear. Thank whomever for small graces that Gabriel was again watching the scenery through the window and didn't see that disaster right there.

Sam needed to get laid, or one day he would molest his companion in sleep, not that he was a sleepwalker or anything. Moreover, Sam wasn't blind and his body, what a traitor, would defy his wishes and it would do whatever it wanted. For instance, getting a half hard-on right in front of Gabriel just that morning when Sam had run into his room and seen the archangel naked. There had been nothing resembling clothes on Gabriel. And if that hadn't been enough already, Gabriel, that little shit, had teased him and had been showing off his body as if it had been a trophy for anyone to take.

Sam wasn't a virgin, on both sides. When at university, he had tried many things that he had never talked about with anyone. Not even Dean knew about his bisexuality. Although Sam would always prefer women, there had been times when he would go into a guy for a change.

The hunter didn't know if Gabriel knew, but considering he hadn't acted upon it any way as the archangel had been through some particular sex-starved days, Sam would just assume that this detail was his secret to tell, or rather not.

"Okay..." Sam uttered quickly, kicking himself out of his fantasies, his voice for an octave deeper than usual, but fortunately, Gabriel hadn't noticed or cared to comment. The hunter cleared his throat again and continued, "We should be there in twenty minutes. I'm pretty beat, so if it's okay with you, we talk about the case tomorrow."

"If you say so, kiddo. But personally, I'd go for a bite before we hit the hay. I don't care which it is, though I need some sugar, so pie maybe? Or chocolate milkshake. Hmm." Gabriel kept going with his rent about food and candy which had brought a smile onto Sam's face, finally something familiar. The hunter could work with that.

"Oh, and just to be sure, we're getting one room, right?" Gabriel asked innocently, unaware of Sam's sexual frustration bottled up inside of him and what reactions this harmless question had insinuated within him again.

_Dear God, I need a cold shower, right fucking now._

"Yep." Sam forced out of himself, trying to imagine the most unsexy things he could think of. Gabriel was totally unaffected by the hunter's strange behaviour and inner struggle.

_Get a grip on yourself, Winchester!_ \- which was becoming Sam's mantra through the rest of the drive. Lucky him, they were almost there.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!
> 
> It's a national day today, the day when Czechoslovakia became an independent state in 1918. Those times were very important for now two independent nations (states) - Czechs and Slovaks. Just to let you know why I'm putting this week's update today instead of tomorrow (as usual). 
> 
> Also, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to change the rating from T to M. And I'm going to put some more tags there later on. I've written more chapters and I now know where this is going a bit more. Don't worry, I will always let you know if there is something you should know beforehand (in the end notes).
> 
> This time, there is another song I really like listening to when I write. [Mr. Mister - Broken Wings](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKhN1t_7PEY)
> 
> Thank you for still reading this. Enjoy!

# Chapter 11

Saying that the drive had been the most awkward experience Gabriel had ever gone through would be an understatement. And the archangel had ended up in several particularly weird and humiliating situations in his short life as a human.

Sam had been tense for the whole drive to the town, and when he had broken the unpleasant silence they had shared together in the car, the hunter would try to patronize Gabriel about the risks of hunting monsters. Hello, he had been a trickster and an archangel once, Gabriel knew something about that. Although when he thought about it, Sam was right in a way. It was going to be different than he had been used to. Without his powers, he couldn't create illusions and projections, he wouldn't be able to kill anything with a snap of his fingers or send them into a volcano. Gabriel would have to depend on the abilities his human body could offer, and adjust to the limitations it brought him.

But that wasn't the only thing that bothered the archangel. Sam had been acting weird since that morning, and it definitely wasn't the fact that Gabriel could endanger the whole hunt by hurting himself, or whatever. It was something else, though he couldn't put his finger on the cause of such a change in Sam's behaviour towards him.

Without his powers, Gabriel couldn't just roam in the hunter's mind and find out what had been Sam's problem on his own. If the archangel wanted to know something from Sam, he would have to ask him directly, no way around it. And that wasn't going to happen anytime soon, or ever.

When they arrived at the motel that they were going to stay for a time being, he dumped his bag, so did Sam, his dog ran around the motel for a while and then hopped onto Gabriel's bed. After settling for the evening, they went out for dinner to the local steak house. Gabriel didn't care much about the places where they ate. The only thing he cared for was the place having some sugary thingies on their menu.

Sam had been quiet through half of a ten-minute walk there. The only words Gabriel had heard from Sam were some uttered okays and alrights, nothing too long or fancy. It looked like a silent household. Only when Gabriel asked Sam about the hunt, the hunter started to talk in longer sentences and they finally had some kind of conversation.

"Well, it's been a while since I hunted something alone, so this one should be just salt and burn kind of thing. And if you really wanna do this with me, it's the best way how to start." Sam said and then paused, lost in thought.

"Alright, I trust you on this." Gabriel said without any hesitation, his tone serious.

"Thanks, I guess." Sam looked at him sideways and smiled subtly, meeting Gabriel's eyes for a second and averting his gaze right away as if caught in doing something forbidden. The archangel didn't know what to make of that. All those smiles and looks, Sam almost tiptoeing around him as if he were some kind of damsel in distress.

"Okay, kiddo, so it's just some poor soul trapped between the living and the dead, trying to get revenge on someone and without any way to move on to Heaven, it's killing people. That's quite serious. I can't imagine how they must be suffering." Gabriel mused out loud as he was walking beside Sam, not noticing the hunter watching him intently.

"Yeah, so tomorrow we will go to the local precinct and ask the sheriff what happened and where exactly. We can't trust the papers here, or some kind of article on the Internet, but I'm pretty sure it should be easy to deal with." Sam finished determinedly as he stopped in front of the steak house, opened the door and held them for Gabriel to go in first.

"Really, Sam? Are we on a date that you're trying to amaze me with your gentlemanlike manners." Gabriel winked at Sam, smirking, and walked right in, not realizing what he had just said to Sam, flirting with him openly, but it was his way to communicate with people he was familiar with, or people he liked. And that right there surprised him. Admitting his fondness for the hunter was a huge thing for him, but to be honest, it was obvious and clear as a day. Gabriel really liked Sam.

The archangel stopped abruptly in the middle of the place as he was thinking over his admission, then turning around to ask Sam where to sit, but the hunter not expecting this, collided with him. Gabriel almost fell on his ass at this sudden push. If Sam didn't have such quick reflexes and not caught him by his forearms, the archangel would have experienced another of those humiliating moments he vehemently wanted to avoid.

They ended up pressed to each other, chest to chest, looking into each other's eyes as if they had been dancing on a prom or something. That thought had woken Gabriel up from the haze of Sam's hazel eyes and he pushed himself away from the hunter, acting like nothing weird or unusual had happened between them, chuckling and smirking playfully in order to hide his embarrassment. Again.

Though there had certainly happened something within his body. His treacherous body that had reacted to Sam's close proximity, to the warmth Sam's body emanated. Gabriel could feel how his heart started a little bit and then it was beating like crazy, his pulse elevated, his blood rushing through his veins, heading south and spreading in parts the archangel didn't need to show right now. Gabriel didn't understand what was happening with him and it definitely wasn't intentional. To be aroused while going for a bite with Sam? Words 'inappropriate' and 'not okay' didn't even get close to the real thing. When he realized what was going on with his body, despite not knowing why so suddenly, he just reacted to the situation by saying, "Uh, sorry, need to pee", and ran to the bathroom like a blushing teenage girl.

Gabriel didn't even care what Sam was thinking right now. He didn't really give a shit, he just needed to cool himself down. The archangel turned the tap with cold water and splashed it onto his face. He looked at himself in the mirror, blinking drops of water off of his eyelashes and calming down his pulse. Whatever had happened, it was unexpected and the archangel couldn't think of any reason why his body reacted so strongly, just being close to Sam like that. They lived together for Father's sake. It wasn't like they had never accidently brushed against each other from time to time. Still, the archangel really hoped that Sam hadn't noticed his unusually weird behaviour and how turned on he had been.

"I really need to get laid. This is getting ridiculous." Gabriel said to his reflection in the mirror and dried himself.

When Gabriel came back to their table, Sam was flicking through the menu, no questions asked, just sitting there and looking almost content. No creases on his forehead from the constant worrying over someone, the dark circles under his eyes were fading away slowly but surely. Gabriel caught himself staring at Sam like a lovesick teenager and immediately averted his eyes on the table, seating himself opposite the hunter and grabbing his own menu just to have something to do with his hands and distract his mind.

Sugar. He needed sugar and a lot of it.

 

***

The ray of sunlight was streaming through the curtains of the motel room and had woken Gabriel up. The archangel frowned and groaned with annoyance, frustrated that he had been awaken right in the best moment of a very nice dream. Moreover, it must have been too early still, since Gabriel felt tired as if he had partied the whole night. He heard running water from the bathroom and his dog whined from the other end of the bed.

"I love sunny days, but only with fucking curtains drawn right." Gabriel grumbled, feeling that weird dryness in his mouth, and that did force him to sit up on the bed and rub the sleepiness off his eyes. The archangel smoothed his hair back from his face, so that it would get some resemblance of a hairstyle. Then he stroked over his face several times to expel the exhaustion which was still clouding his mind. The shower stopped but that was the only thing that he could register about this morning.

Gabriel looked around the room and noticed that Sam was nowhere to be found. His dog was still sleeping contentedly at his legs, snoring lightly, twitching from time to time as if he was dreaming. The archangel smiled at that.

Then the door from the bathroom opened and walking out of it was Sam, just a towel around his waist, drying his hair with another one, naked and toned chest and navel visible, still wet on some places of his skin, drops of water glistening in the sunlight streaming through the holes in the curtains. And Gabriel's jaw dropped down in shock and admiration. Well, it would have dropped on the floor if he hadn't been sitting on the bed. Sam hadn't noticed that Gabriel was awake, so the hunter didn't feel any need to cover himself or put some clothes on right away.

Sam went right to his bag with his spare clothes and started searching for the pieces he wanted to wear that day. Still oblivious to the show he was giving to Gabriel. Sam dressed and that was a cue for Gabriel to close his mouth and act like nothing happened. Nope, nothing happened at all. No half hard-on, no blood rushing into his dick, no annoying reactions of his human body what so ever.

Gabriel cleared his throat and at that Sam turned around and gazed into the archangel's eyes and didn't look away. Mesmerized, Gabriel didn't even realize that his dog stood up and  jumped off the bed and ran to the door, scratching it to let him know he wanted to go out for a walk. And Gabriel would kiss him if he could, because thanks to those scratches, the archangel got out of the staring contest with Sam. _Thank holy mum of Jesus._

Averting his eyes, Gabriel rolled around to the other side of the bed and stood up, tactically going to the bathroom so that Sam couldn't see his front, especially that tent appearing in his pants.

_Seriously, this is not okay._ He thought and kicked himself mentally for secretly longing for Sam's body. Sam was his companion, for fuck's sake. If he could say so, almost his friend. Gabriel couldn't think of him that way, because the hunter would never feel the same. There was no way in hell that Sam would want him for more than occasional chat during their meals together.

Still, it didn't stop his body, such a traitor, to react to Sam's physical appearance. And oh fuck, with that body Sam could have anyone. He could just point at someone and they would be running to him, wanting him for themselves, begging him to be their lover. All that beautiful skin, wet and red from the hot shower, all those muscles showing Sam's physical strength, and flexing under his skin as he was putting his clothes on, unaware that Gabriel was totally looking him up and down like a piece of meat. Not a good thing to think of someone like Sam in such a way. Sammy, who had helped him to adjust to his human life, who had cared for him in times of need, who practically let him sleep in his bed and take over his room without question. Someone who, despite of everything Gabriel had put him through, hurting him and his brother in the past, not having any obligation to help the archangel, didn't mind him staying in the bunker permanently.

Gabriel was still kind of too out of it to be able to fully understand what was happening around him. Holding the edge of the sink firmly, his knuckles whitening from the strength he was putting into it. The archangel was brought out of his thoughts by a few knocks on the door and Sam's words, telling him that he was going to take his dog out for a walk and that he would be back shortly with breakfast.

The archangel just croaked something like "yeah, sure" because his brain wasn't capable of producing more than that, any sensible answers alluding him as his jumbled thoughts were clouding his mind completely.

Until that day, Gabriel had never thought of Sam as someone attractive and sexually appealing. The archangel had always seen him as a human whom he had known from before and had some history with him only, teasing him from time to time but nothing else. Now Gabriel realized how difficult it was going to be not to act on his sex-deprived, human urges.

_Fuck, Sam was hot._ Gabriel mused mentally and sighed as he hopped into the shower to get himself out of this aroused state. Any way possible.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dears,
> 
> imagine that. I went shopping today and came back home with quite a strong migraine, very unusual for me. And I was mad at myself because I wanted to write some more today. Guess what? Tea saved me! And that's why I can upload one more chapter this week. I know I know, it's Saturday but I already updated yesterday :D. Well, I just couldn't resist and there is another chapter:). Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Another song from my list. My favourite, I mean as number 1 song: [Depeche Mode - Walking In My Shoes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrC_yuzO-Ss)
> 
> As always, I appreciate every comment/kudos/hit you give me :).

# Chapter 12

Sam had a very strange dream about a house full of puppies. His mind supplied at least.

In that dream he went through the door and almost stumbled over a basket with two or three little puppies of a brownish colour, maybe golden, it was a blur between those two colours, not that it mattered.

The hunter went further into the house, the floor was creaking under his footsteps, the door had closed behind him with a loud bang. Sam started at the noise, turning around to face the heavy wooden door, but there was nothing, yet he felt a presence of someone else. They were somewhere in the house, very close but invisible. Like a ghost but not quite.

The wind was crying outside of the house, blowing through the cracks in the walls and windows, glass was lying on the ground, broken. The house was a typical example of a haunted place but Sam wasn't afraid of a possible encounter with a spirit. The hunter couldn't see anything particularly humanlike, or that the house was being lived in. Well, except the puppies.

When Sam glanced back behind himself, deciding to go outside again through the dim hall, the puppies were nowhere to be seen and instead of them, there was someone he definitely didn't expect to show up in his dream. Standing there, in front of him, was Gabriel with his typical smirk on his face and mirth in his eyes, wearing worn blue jeans and black shirt, the first two buttons undone so that the hunter could see a little bit of Gabriel's chest and Sam had already seen everything, so he knew this wasn't his fantasy. This was from the real life.

There were looking into each other's eyes, not even blinking, just staring at one another and waiting for the other to do what they both had been thinking for some time. At least Sam's mind made him believe that Gabriel felt the same way. They were _his_ dreams after all.

Sam's legs were moving towards the archangel on their own accord. The hunter just let it happen, let his mind and especially body to decide for him and act upon lust and abstinence of human contact.

Gabriel was standing there without motion, still gazing into Sam's eyes, watching him approaching with longing in his honey brown irises, his pupils spreading over the colour caused by the reactions of his body. It was the only indicator of what Gabriel wanted but Sam's mind provided that it was enough. Somewhat, Sam couldn't control anything in this dream and he didn't even want to, since it was going to be the only place where the hunter could and would act upon his sexual needs. And it was showing how aroused he was and he hadn't touched dreamt out Gabriel yet.

It took him just a few strides forward and Sam was in Gabriel's personal space, lifting his hands and placing them on the archangel's cheeks, running his fingers through his hair as the hunter bent down and kissed the archangel on his lips, soft and warm, and he moved his own over them, touching the bottom lip with a tip of his tongue. The archangel answered with passion, kissing him firmly on his lips, pressing his tongue into Sam's mouth, biting him so that the hunter would open his lips and let him in.

This was a fantasy Sam would never forget. Their kisses were passionate, yet loving and full of admiration. Just the thing the hunter longed for. Lust was surging through his body, their chests pressed together like in that steak house they had been eating just last night. Sam's mind provided glimpses and pieces of the real world situations and moments Gabriel and he had shared together, making the dream more genuine, making his actions more wild and unrestrained. Their tongues were sliding together, Sam could hear himself moan and he pressed his hips closer to the other man's, feeling Gabriel's arousal on his thigh. Sliding his palms down onto his ass, Sam squeezed and earned himself a loud moan from the archangel, then hearing him chuckle and feeling his smile in their wild kisses.

Sam was pressing Gabriel onto the door behind them, grabbing the archangel by his thighs and lifting him so that they would be on the same level, diving his mouth on Gabriel's collarbone, biting and sucking, making little bruises on his skin.

"More, Sam, I need more." Gabriel breathed out through his moans and sighs. Sam didn't know what he wanted first, Gabriel reaching his orgasm and him witnessing it, or hearing the archangel say his name over and over again in that sinful, lustful voice, like a prayer. But the hunter didn't want to think, didn't want to decide right that moment, he just wanted Gabriel and that was it. Nothing else mattered here. So he let the other man slide down from the door, grabbed his hand and then...

He woke up.

"Oh no, no, no, no... you're kidding me! Fuck!" Sam hissed, trying to get out of this haze of lust and need, and, "Fuck!" he groaned when he felt how his dick was crying for release and then in horror realized that the object of his quite realistic sexual fantasies was sleeping just right there, in the same room.

Sam stumbled out of his bed, managing to take a towel from the chair on the way to the bathroom and almost running there so that he could finish what his idiotic mind started.

***

That was before Sam witnessed another set of weird behaviour from the archangel that morning.

First, Sam had been unintentionally giving a show to Gabriel right after he had taken a very hot shower. The hunter hadn't noticed he had been already awake and staring intently at him. But there was nothing what could have pointed onto a track of lust or sexual arousal. The archangel had actually run out of the room and closed himself in the bathroom, not even caring about his dog and his whining noises at the main door. So Sam decided that Gabriel wasn't interested in him that way, and just didn't want to deal with Sam showing off, and confirmed his previously made assumptions.

_It was just a dream, dammit._ He thought and tried to forget about it all. But how could he? It was there, in his mind, settled like an old couple in a summer cottage. Sam grimaced upon the comparison his brain provided and a weird fantasy of them both being in that old but cosy cottage somewhere at a lake.

"Get a grip, Winchester." Sam grumbled, annoyed by his own fantasies and wishes and needs, and everything about this morning.

As he walked Gabriel's dog, Sam dropped by a local store and bought something for breakfast. The hunter took some bacon, vegetables and bread for sandwiches, and for Gabriel his favourite candy and especially lollipops. When he went out of the store, Sam stopped, inhaling deeply and while exhaling, he sighed loudly. It was quite cold outside for this part of the country, but Sam wasn't going to complain about this. At least his brain stopped overheating with stupid fantasies and started to think properly for a change. That he really needed for the hunt to go as smoothly as possible.

When he came to the motel room they were staying for a time being, Gabriel was sitting on his bed and reading his notes Sam had given him after their dinner the previous day. The archangel looked up upon his arrival and said his typical "Hello, kiddo. What's up?" as nothing had happened between them just that morning. So Sam decided to let it go and not discuss it with the archangel. Why should he anyway? Actually, nothing had happened between them. Maybe Gabriel had sensed Sam's weird vibes towards himself and didn't want to deal with it on top of his own issues. That would make sense after all. And that dream had been just enough of a reason to remove himself from Sam's proximity.

"So, what you've got?" Gabriel asked, seeing Sam with two plastic bags full of groceries, his eyes brightening up, surely spotting something sweet in them. Sam rolled his eyes and put the bags on the table.

"You can guess." Sam said, smiling subtly for himself over Gabriel's lively attitude. The archangel jumped off of the bed and quickly rushed to the table and started rummaging through the contents.

"Ohohoh," Gabriel laughed lightly, grabbing the snickers bar from one of the bags as he looked up at Sam and smiled with that beautiful smile of his where the joy from just ordinary things reached his eyes. "Thanks, kiddo." The hunter had to hold himself together, not reacting any way to these little things about Gabriel. But how, how was he supposed to do that when the archangel just being there and smiling was giving him hard times, literally.

_I need to get laid._ Sam mused mentally for the millionth time in a couple of days. His private sessions with himself didn't help anymore and there was a huge possibility that his treacherous mind and body would continue to supply his dreams with images of Gabriel wanting him as much as Sam wanted Gabriel.

And there was still that hunt they had to deal with as soon as possible.

***

"So I went through your notes the sheriff gave you earlier and I think I know where to look. That girl you were questioned, she was there, with that Todd guy when those bastards killed him. Well, I mean, I think so." Gabriel said with a thoughtful look in his eyes and a frown between his brows, surely trying to get truth from the notes Sam had found out about the case.

Since Gabriel didn't have his own badge of an FBI agent yet, everything around questioning the witnesses and interrogating suspects had been Sam's job to do. The archangel had learned how to work with the Internet and Sam's laptop, and the hunter had to admit that Gabriel was a fast learner and a good researcher. Which was a good thing because Sam had to work in the field, something Dean would have normally been doing.

"Okay," Sam answered, and after a pause he continued, "but how we know what's still holding him here, on this plane? She has to have something of his or with his blood on it." There was another longer pause, both focused on the task ahead of them.

"Sam? I think I've got it. In your notes you're saying that she had this weird scarf on herself when you questioned her. Didn't she tell you that it was a gift from someone? Maybe it was his. She was his friend after all." Gabriel said, winking at Sam as he was suggesting some kind of a secret relationship between those two teenagers. Sam thought about this, looking blankly into the room.

"I can see the cogs in your head turning, and coming to the same conclusion, am I right?" Gabriel said playfully, knowing very well that the hunter really reached the same thing. One of the corners of Sam's mouth quirked upwards without him even knowing, and when Sam realized he was smiling at Gabriel's sharp mind, he cleared his throat and stood up.

"You're right. That's it, that's the thing we need to burn. It shouldn't be difficult to do. Wanna come with me?" Sam asked Gabriel, not looking at him, shuffling around instead, as in preparation for the job ahead.

"Hells yeah, I want to put the poor soul to rest as much as you do, for the different reasons I guess, but we have the same goal." The archangel replied with determination and sincerity in his voice, already collecting all the notes lying on the table and preparing for the hunt.

Sam was still watching the archangel from the corner of his eye for a while afterwards. Gabriel took the job very seriously, since it was about lost souls not being able to move on to Heaven, usually, and that fact had brought the side of the archangel within him. Gabriel didn't have his powers, but he still had that role rooted in himself, to save and guard human souls, guiding them to the afterlife.

And at that exact moment, Sam decided that it was time to tell Gabriel everything that had happened while he had been dead. The hunter was very grateful that Gabriel didn't ask him about everything in his life. Sam guessed that the archangel had found some bits and pieces on the Internet but not all of it. Still, he wasn't nosy or asking annoying questions. Gabriel waited for him to tell the story on his own terms.

Sam felt admiration and awe towards Gabriel and it didn't even surprise him this time. Sam was so done, realizing that there was no way back. Not anymore.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> since I'm not going to be home tomorrow (as on Saturday), I'm sending you the update today. I'm heading to Prague to meet with a few special peeps to have a special Supernatural party (ladies SPN day :D). And I'll return on Sunday.
> 
> I hope you'll like the chapter. As always, I appreciate everything you send my way :). Don't hesitate to tell me what you think!
> 
> Another song I really love listening to:[Ozzy Osbourne - I Just Want You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4nI2V07X6k)

# Chapter 13

„Shit!“ Gabriel cried and started coughing uncontrollably as the strain of his vocal chords was too much for his body. The pain he was feeling, his mind was clouded and blood was rushing through his veins, in some places out of his body from the wounds Gabriel had brought from his first hunt. It was so overwhelming that the archangel didn’t know what he should focus on first. On the feeling of his strength and life energy slowly escaping his body and soul, or that Sam looked so frightened and worried when he was trying to stop the bleeding.

„Sam, am I gonna die...,“ Gabriel coughed again, gripping the edge of his bed strongly as Sam used disinfectant on the raw wounds.

„You’re _not_ gonna die, not on my watch, understand? And shut up, I need to concentrate.“ Sam said firmly and Gabriel closed his mouth and didn’t say a word through the whole procedure. The hunter’s precision was admirable, not that Gabriel had a chance to watch him working as the archangel had been in so much pain, even staying awake took him plenty of energy. His eyelids were suddenly too heavy to keep his eyes open and at that moment he was losing consciousness, falling into oblivion where he couldn’t feel anything anymore.

“Dammit, Gabriel. Open your eyes!” Gabriel heard as if from afar, “you can’t fall asleep, d’you hear me?” But the archangel was too weak because of this whole humanity thing. Gabriel thought that he wouldn’t survive it. Then suddenly a sharp pain surged through his head as someone slapped him into the face.

“Wake up, you bastard. You can’t die on me, not now. Fuck!” Sam cursed loudly, pressing a gauze into the deepest wound in Gabriel' stomach and trying to stitch it up quickly. His blood everywhere, on his clothes, on Sam’s hands. His beautiful and capable hands. When Gabriel heard that pleading and angry tone from Sam, he couldn’t let him down and die. The archangel couldn’t give up so easily just now when he had found a friend, a companion for his life as a human. And it hadn’t always been as bad as he had imagined. Gabriel had experienced so many new feelings and sensations, amplified from the times when he had had all his powers. And the idea of losing it so soon afterwards was something he needed right in that moment as he was lying on the bed, his blood everywhere and hearing Sam’s pleads in his ear, so close.

As he was so disoriented, Gabriel didn't realize that everything was over. The archangel didn’t know if he was imagining it all, but he felt a light touch of Sam’s lips on his forehead and heard him saying “Everything’s gonna be alright, Gabriel. You’ll see. Don’t give up on me, please.” Sam’s palms stroking his cheeks softly, reassuring him with gentle words.

Gabriel knew that his mind could have fabricated all of it and that his rich imagination had supplied him with images he wanted and needed to see so he would stay alive and fight this battle with death.

Gabriel groaned and blinked several times, but the light in the room was too much for his brain and he hissed in pain. It was so similar to his first awakening into the human life. The archangel wanted to scream, wanted to curse and blame someone for all he had been through, though he should be grateful as well because he was still alive and had got a friend now, someone who really cared about him and wanted him to stay among the living, with him.

The strength was leaving him and Gabriel couldn't stay awake anymore. It was too much and the sleep was enveloping him, tugging him down into the dreamland. And he went, the archangel went gladly because the pain and exhaustion, the loss of blood dragged him down into the hands of unconsciousness. Gabriel also hoped for the repeat of that dream he had had about Sam the other night. Such a vivid dream it had been that he almost believed that it had been real. _Was it real?_ A smile appeared on his face as the last thought of his conscious was of Sam.

***

When Gabriel woke up, the first thing giving him some hint about his state was pain, excruciating pain in the area of his abdomen. Which also meant that he had survived and surely just because of Sam taking care of him.

The hunter was sitting in the chair beside his bed, his arms crossed over his chest, sleeping. Gabriel immediately noticed the dark circles and bags under Sam's eyes, there were a few creases caused by too much worrying over things he couldn't do anything about. The archangel didn't want to wake him up but the pain was very strong and pulsating as if someone was stabbing him into his stomach and head with little needles over and over again. But it was the only thing that he had noticed about his body. There was no blood anymore, no special surgical instruments. Everything was cleaned up in the room. Surely also thanks to Sam.

His middle was wrapped up with several bandages, the fact Gabriel found out by touching his stomach in reflex, attempting to determine how bad it was.

"It wasn't as bad as it looked." Sam said which attracted Gabriel's senses and he glanced over at Sam, staring at him intently and waiting for the hunter to continue. "I'm sorry." At that Gabriel's eyes widened in surprise, not understanding why Sam was apologizing to him.

"What?! Why? You've done everything you could, helped me, saved me. And it was my fault anyway because of my stupidity and belief in my abilities which aren't there anymore. Not in this body without my powers. And you were right all along. So the only one who should be apologizing is me here, kiddo, not you." Gabriel finished with a serious tone, never leaving a place for an argument. He was the only one to blame for his wounds. The archangel had gone into the room blindly, not waiting for Sam to come to him so that he could have his back. His overly big ego and self-confidence had left him hanging on a very slim thread afterwards. Hadn't Sam been such a good hunter, skilled thanks to his hard life, Gabriel would have been dead already - again.

"Gabriel...stop. Okay, I don't wanna talk about it anymore. We are here, both alive fortunately and the hunt is behind us. Are you in pain? Do you want some pills?" Sam frowned in concentration when he had seen Gabriel grimaced in pain and Sam turned on his caring mode immediately. The hunter grabbed a small bottle from the table with some pills and motioned to Gabriel to hold out his palm so that Sam could give him two of the pills to take with a glass of water that he handed him. The archangel swallowed them right away, seeking relief from the ache he was feeling.

It was so strange to see someone care for him that much. Gabriel remembered these relations, this caring for each other only when he was among his brothers in Heaven. Since his running away, Gabriel had never experienced such a phenomenon with anyone, not even with Kali. And that was saying something on its own. She had been the only one the archangel had started some kind of relationship with. And who knew if she were alive at all. Hopefully, his death hadn't been in vain, defending her and the Winchesters.

"You know..." Sam began, starting him a little from his reverie and reflection on his past life. "I think it is time I told you about the world and what happened while you were gone. At least the important bits." Sam said without any emotion in his voice which was quite unlike him. There was a short silence between them. Gabriel let Sam collect his thoughts to tell him what was on his mind.

"Well, as you've already found out, the Apocalypse never happened. Lucifer was sent back into the Cage and Michael fell with him. Raphael is gone too as he fell in a battle for the post of a leader in Heaven. Actually, Castiel killed him." Sam paused and waited for a while whether Gabriel would want to react to that somehow. But the archangel didn't want to distract Sam from getting it all out of him, ridding of this burden he visibly had been carrying on his shoulders for some time. He would mourn over his brothers later. Although Gabriel had never liked Raphael, he was his older brother. But this time, he didn't feel anything because he had been dead back then.

The hunter was still looking into his eyes as he inhaled deeply and continued with his confession.

"Then Leviathans happened. Fuck, it was horrible. We've lost so many people but it wasn't enough shit for the world to get into obviously. Metatron expelled all angels from Heaven, every one of them fell and created chaos on Earth. Abbadon somehow got loose and appeared alive, and without any other means to stop her, Dean took the Mark of Cain on himself so he could kill her. Well, you can imagine how well it went." when Sam said this bit, Gabriel shivered and wanted to scream at Sam, wanted to tell him how stupid they had been to do such an idiotic thing, that there were another ways how to kill Abbadon, but then he realized the only one who could actually do that was an archangel, and with Raphael and him dead and Lucifer and Michael having a tea party in the Cage together, there had been literary no one to deal with the knight of Hell. And who was he kidding, no one of his brothers would have helped, even if the brothers had begged them for it. And Leviathans, what the fuck had happened while he had been gone? And Cas killing Raphael for such a childish thing, to rule in Heaven? What a stupid thing to do. Heaven had stopped being worth it a long time ago.

"And you know me," Sam said with a painful expression on his face, sad and resigned and if he was expecting some kind of punishment. "I couldn't leave Dean with the Mark, destroying himself and others in the process, so I tried to find a way to remove it from him. And succeeded actually. But the price was too high. I'm sure you know all about that history with the Mark and all." Sam looked up at Gabriel and waited for some kind of understanding, for a sign on his face or in his eyes that he knew what they had done. It took him some time to process what Sam had just implied, but when he realized what he was talking about, whom he was talking about. The archangel just couldn't help himself and let his emotions to take control of his mind.

"Are you fucking out of your mind? You let the Darkness out?! You've gotta be kidding me, right? Tell me. You can't be seriously telling me that my auntie is out there somewhere, going freaking havoc and there is absolutely no one to stop her. And sorry to break it to you, but either I or my brothers can help you. For that we need our daddy dearest who is nowhere to be found or he doesn't care." Gabriel stopped at that and looked away from Sam, staring blankly into the room. "Fuck. This is messed up, let me tell you. Kiddo, you've done some serious shit in your life and I don't blame you for the most of that, but this is a completely new level of fucked up." Shaking his head, Gabriel stroked his face several times over, smoothing his hair back from his forehead.

"You don't have to worry about the Darkness anymore, she is out of the equation." and at that Gabriel noticed how hurt and sad Sam was, everything was right there in his face, in his eyes, and Gabriel didn't have to be an archangel to see how broken Sam had been for his brother probably died saving the world from the Darkness, however he had done it.

"Yeah, Dean sacrificed himself to kill her off for good and, I'm sorry to tell you that, but God went down with her, to create a balance in the universe." Sam said with sadness in his voice, and that was it. That did it. Shocked, Gabriel opened his mouth to say something but realized that he had lost the ability to speak. No words could express what the archangel was feeling at that moment, after finding out that his father, God himself, was gone. And Gabriel would never have another chance to talk to him, to explain him his reasons to run away from home, everything really. Gabriel would never have another chance to tell him how pissed off he had been at him not being there for them, for his brothers, leaving them to fight one another, and for what? For some kind of a dream of Paradise or getting some kind of recognition from him? What a bullshit.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel. I really am. He took the bullet for the world he had created and it was my fault, everything is my fault." Sam's voice quivered in the middle and he hardly finished, swallowing hard to clear his throat and continue, but in the end the hunter was unable to keep talking. Sam stood up, uttered something about going to a bar for a drink and that Gabriel was going to be alright, it was just the pain he had to get over and he should be okay eventually.

And then he was gone, out there somewhere, drinking himself into oblivion, surely to forget.

Gabriel had a lot to process and with the pain he was beginning to feel again, he couldn't concentrate much on anything. His dog was lying on the other bed, Sam's bed, curled up in a ball, sleeping. Oblivious to everything said in the room.

_My father is dead? That's impossible_. If God had been dead, how come the archangel was alive? There was absolutely no one else who would have enough power and energy to bring him back from the dead.

Apparently, Sam didn't know everything, and he should know, Gabriel should tell him what he knew about his resurrection. There was so much unknown and unclear and he hated it.

"Well, kiddo, we've got a lot to talk about." Gabriel mused out loud and lied down on the bed, feeling too tired to think about such serious matters right now. This exhaustion annoyed him immensely but he should have got used to it by now, a little over a month as a human and having enough sleep was a must for him.

The archangel sighed as his muscles and body finally relaxed, his mind prepared for sleep. Surprisingly, Gabriel fell asleep quite quickly, his mind remembering the dream from before, such a vivid dream that he would have believed it real if there had been even a slight possibility Sam could feel the same as he did.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dear readers!
> 
> I've got an update for you. It's not Saturday yet but I was thinking that I could give you an early present this week :). I hope you'll like it. Also, I think that this story should reach around 30 chapters at the end. Don't ask me how it happened, I don't really know :D.
> 
> Please, don't hesitate to tell me what you think :). I appreciate it!
> 
> Enjoy!

# Chapter 14

This was getting ridiculous – Sam running away from Gabriel at the smallest danger of a breakdown. It wasn’t like the archangel had never been through one, or anything. So why did Sam always had a need to run and hide himself, not showing his weaknesses and heartache in front of anyone.

Oh yeah, it was a defence reflex given by his fucked-up life. The thing was that Sam couldn’t control it even if he wanted to. But Gabriel needed him now. Even more so when he had got hurt after his _first_ hunt. And Sam didn’t need to remind him of saying so, that there had been a possibility this would happen.

Well, Gabriel was stubborn and believed his skills hadn’t vanished when he had become human, which was a good thing in a way, certainly. But sometimes he should listen to people who knew something about hunting, and not run into things blindly without any back-up. That was also one of the reasons why Dean and Sam hadn’t died more times than they had. They had got each other’s backs, their instincts adjusted to the other’s ones, habits, everything. They just knew one another’s skills, moves and ways of fighting.

The wound had looked worse than it actually was after Sam patched Gabriel up. The hunter could imagine how it must have hurt when he had stabbed the archangel with a needle so many times, doing little stitches. But the most important thing was that Gabriel had got out of it without trauma or more dangerous injuries.

Sam had been wandering around the town for an hour at least, thinking about the events that had happened in the last couple of days. Stopping abruptly in front of a bar, he realized that he shouldn't be here, drinking and in his drunken state chatting some strangers up to forget about the confusing feelings towards Gabriel. He should go back to the motel room and help the archangel get through it. Although Gabriel was a big boy and already adopted to the human life in some ways, this was something new entirely and there still was a danger of some infection getting into his bloodstream. So Sam turned around and went back.

When Sam arrived, he opened the door carefully so that he wouldn't wake Gabriel up in case he was sleeping. Seeing that yes, the archangel was unconscious to the world, he wanted to grab his notes and go sit to the table at the window and read while waiting for Gabriel to wake up, and then order some food for them both. The dog whined quietly, waiting at the door, as if he knew not to make much noise because Gabriel was hurt. That was a cue for Sam to take him out for a short walk before he would find a puddle somewhere in the room, or on his bed.

When being out again, Sam stopped thinking for a while, distracting himself by playing with the dog in a nearby park. It was something the hunter had always dreamt about, having a dog and playing with him, living a normal life, having someone to share it with him. But to be honest with himself, Sam had to admit that his life had been better since Gabriel had appeared in the bunker. Oh yeah, there had been moments when the hunter would run out of patience and had to restrain himself not to throw the archangel out of his home, but still. There had been many other moments in which he had felt more alive than ever before in his life. Those moments were usually in presence of Gabriel with his cheerful and playful attitude, lightening up Sam's mood every time he had felt under the weather. The archangel would start talking about the pranks and creative punishments he had made for assholes. And there hadn't been just people among the victims of his justice. Once or twice Gabriel had mentioned that he had punished monsters as well, usually some other gods he had met during his life as Loki.

Sam recalled that day they had met Gabriel for the first time. When he saw him as just another monster to kill because the archangel, a trickster, had been killing people. And the brothers hadn't known that those people had deserved it. Although the human society had this system of justice, law, the police, there were still people who had done horrible shit and got out of it unpunished. And the truth was that Gabriel actually had done the same thing Sam and Dean had been doing for a while, with one little difference, Gabriel had focused on human monsters. In a way it hadn't been a bad thing. Sam had been through a load of shit, he had fucked up some stuff that had caused many innocent people to die. The hunter was someone who had deserved a punishment the most of all. And Gabriel had done it a couple of times but never killed him. Oh well, he would never have been able to kill him, or use his projections to do that, since it would have attracted too much attention on him. And the archangel had been hiding for a very long time to get himself caught by other angels. But Gabriel had tried to give him some lesson, show him things and in a way he had punished him by killing Dean over and over again, letting him live without his brother for over six months. And then the TV land, that was humiliating more than anything.

Sam was deep in thought up until the dog barking brought him out of it, showing him so that the pet was done and prepared to go back to his master.

When the hunter came back to the motel room, there was still silence inside. Opening the door, the dog ran towards Gabriel's bed and hopped up on it, curling himself at the archangel's legs. Tiptoeing silently to his bed and using the light on his phone, the hunter took his clothes of and put some more comfortable pants and t-shirt on and went to sit at the table. He turned his laptop on and started reading articles on the Internet. It was, after all, the only thing he could do at the moment. Sam didn't want to leave Gabriel alone again and then he realized that there was nothing interesting outside to go there anyway, and that he would rather stay with the archangel than spending time with some strangers in a bar. Dean would do it, hiding his feelings and inner conflicts by drinking and losing himself in other people's bodies, not Sam and he really wanted to forget the time with Ruby.

***

"You know that you're gonna get blind? Reading on it in the dark?" Gabriel croaked out with a sleepy voice, bringing Sam out of his concentration on reading. The hunter's eyes left the screen and he took a proper look at the archangel.

"How are you feeling? Wanna more pills?" Sam asked worriedly.

"I feel like shit. Some pills for pain would be great, though I'd eat something first." Gabriel said, coughing a bit afterwards, clearing his throat. The archangel then took the glass of water Sam had put on the night table, and drank it all, putting it back and leaning back onto the pillows under him. Gabriel touched the bandages on his side and hissed in pain.

"Stop touching it. I'll order something for you." Sam said as he stood up and went to the archangel. The hunter took the bottle with painkillers out of a drawer and gave Gabriel two of the pills with another glass of water.

There was silence for a while, neither of them wanting to start any conversation or looking at each other. Then the dog barked once, taking their attention on him. He yawned and went to sleep again. Sam smiled, while Gabriel chuckled quietly at his dog's sleeping form.

"I've taken him out already, don't worry." Sam said with a smile on his face, locking his eyes with Gabriel's. The archangel grinned and looked away on his hands in his lap. Sam thought Gabriel looked quite well for someone who had been stabbed into his side and thrown over the whole room into the wall. But hell, he wasn't going to complain about that. As he had thought earlier, at first the wound had looked more serious than it actually was, not putting too much thought into it. After all, the archangel wasn't some delicate flower despite being shorter than average, and hid quite a toned body under all those clothes for someone who always ate candy like a starving man.

After Sam ordered the food for them both and fed the dog - he couldn't forget about the pet - he sat himself on his bed, facing the archangel as they ate together in silence. From time to time they uttered some words of appreciation about the food, or what they were going to do now when the hunt was done.

Sam enjoyed these moments, this companionship between them and decided that he didn't want to screw it up with his need for human contact. The hunter hadn't had good experience with relationships based on passion and lust. He would rather have this friendship forming between him and Gabriel, than a couple of moments having sex with him and nothing else, and spoiling it with something Sam could live without.

***

After a couple of days staying in the motel because Gabriel was still hurt and couldn't walk by himself - and complaining and whining about it all the time - they finally packed all their stuff and set out back to the bunker. The journey, not too long or problematic, was spent in a companionship silence, Gabriel sometimes commented on the landscape they drove through, telling Sam some more stories about the places the archangel had visited and when it had been since he was old as the time itself. Still, he sometimes behaved like a child.

Sam listened to Gabriel's stories, sometimes smiled and chuckled lightly at some of his jokes and pranks on people who had lived in the area. But the hunter couldn't stop thinking about Gabriel's wounds and how quickly he had been able to walk. Not that the biggest wound had already healed up completely, but it was still puzzling how Gabriel's body had dealt with his injuries so fast. Of course, Sam knew that there were people whose bodies had the capability of healing itself faster than others and it was a very handy thing to have when being a hunter. But the archangel had stayed just a couple of days in bed and could walk on the third day with Sam's help, and Gabriel had been afraid of dying when Sam had been trying to stop the bleeding.

Something had been going on with the archangel and Sam was going to find out, no matter what.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> as promised! it's Saturday and there's another update from me. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did! 
> 
> Also, I just wanted to tell you that I'm not going to be online most of the weekend next week, so there's not going to be a regular update on Saturday. But, I might upload the next chapter either on Thursday or Friday morning or Sunday afternoon. Either way, you'll get your next dose of this story, don't worry. The timing will be a surprise, I guess :). The reason why is simple, I'm having a presentation about Gabriel at a con and there're not many opportunities to get online.
> 
> Enjoy and thank you for everything you send my way!

# Chapter 15

Gabriel didn't have much experience with humanity and how quickly human bodies healed after such deep wounds, but he wasn't going to complain about it because even just a few days in bed had nearly bored him to death - again.

Sam didn't tell him anything and Gabriel guessed if it had been suspicious, he would have said something already. Their relationship had grown into a friendship the archangel appreciated very much and didn't want to lose it just because some kind of weird shit had been happening to him. But even Gabriel wasn't that ignorant not to notice that his abilities and senses were sharper than a couple of weeks ago and he learned things and read faster than before. Again, he wasn't going to complain but this was weird even for him. Still, Gabriel thought that mentioning it to the hunter when he didn't know for sure, wasn't a good idea. By telling Sam about his inkling of getting some abilities back Gabriel could unintentionally give him hope and if it had turned out to be just his imagination, it would hurt Sam and the archangel liked him too much to do that to him. Also Sam had been much better since the first day Gabriel had seen him, he still had that worry and pain in his face and eyes, forcing the archangel to cheer him up somehow every chance he had got, but it was better than panic attacks and nightmares Gabriel knew Sam had been having from time to time.

They would go out for walks with his dog together, playing with him and just enjoying each other's presence. Sam had showed him some sights in the town and surroundings he himself had visited and liked, which had surprised Gabriel a lot because it meant that Sam trusted him enough to take him to his secret places.

Gabriel also noticed that Sam sometimes looked at him too long when he thought the archangel couldn't see him or was focused on something else. It intrigued him and Gabriel wanted to know why. Maybe it was just Sam's good nature not let him out of his sight.

Sometimes Gabriel also sensed this feeling, something like a touch but not quite. It was too soft and warm for a ghost or grace, but he always shivered when it brushed him gently over his cheeks or hair, sometimes even lips, and Gabriel reacted to these moments quite strongly for it being an ordinary human sensation. It reminded him of the past when he still had been an archangel and had powers, and someone had been thinking about him or praying to him. It had been an angel thing, connecting him to people and their belief in angels and wishing for their help in whatever thing they needed their blessing for. Gabriel didn't know what to think about these touches or feelings. It was confusing and somehow also frightening.

So, at first, Gabriel did everything faster and without much trouble, healed quickly and didn't feel as much pain as before when he had returned from the dead. And now there was this feeling of human souls praying to him, which meant another step towards his archangelic powers. He had noticed three signs of him getting back what he had lost after death, yet he hadn't told Sam because he was afraid of losing the hunter's friendship. Gabriel very well knew that Sam had warmed up to him because of him becoming human, knowing nothing about humanity and how to work with this weak body of his. The archangel had needed help and Sam with his kind nature and personality had just taken on this role of his carer, not wanting anything back from him. This fear of losing Sam's friendship was foreign to him but Gabriel quickly admitted to himself that it was the best thing that had happened to him since his running from Heaven and then hiding among pagan gods.

Gabriel was also aware that Sam had given him a chance to start over without question, letting him live with him in the bunker. And the archangel missed this companionship with someone who knew every important aspect of his life and not giving a damn about it, accepting his nature and past.

Of course, the archangel had tried to use his powers as if he had them, but nothing worked so he gave up and stopped thinking about it for a while. Although Gabriel really wanted his strength and grace, there was a small chance that he would ever get them back. And now when he knew everything about the world and how it had gone with the Darkness, it would be foolish to believe that his Father had time to deal with him. According to Sam, his Father had lost all of his power and light after a fight he had found himself in with his sister. And Gabriel knew that his aunt was stronger than her brother because he had given up some of his light and strength and created the world and all the beings in it. When his Father had trapped her the first time, he needed all Gabriel's brothers to help him to do that and still, it had been a narrow escape from her darkness. Now? Gabriel laughed at that thought but without humour in his tone. He couldn't believe that they had even tried, because his Father had given up even more since the first time fighting her, and without his other brothers, this attempt to trap her back had been futile.

Gabriel wasn't an idiot, he knew that his Father couldn't kill her because he needed her to create a balance in the universe, as Sam had said when telling him about the outcome of their battle. Either they both had died or they were still alive and Sam hadn't got a memo. Maybe Dean had weakened her and his Father finished the job, or Lucifer, as Sam had told him about his brother being there, but she had expelled him from Castiel's body and he sure as hell couldn't have got back soon enough to help his Father against her again, though Gabriel had doubts about that. There had been no way to manage it, even for his older brother. And Gabriel had a suspicion that Lucifer was too weak against her anyway.

When they had fought against her for the first time, his Father trapped her somewhere no one couldn't go, and Gabriel had seen the change within Lucifer and what it had done to him. Something had happened to his brother after the battle, he wasn't blind.

There were many possibilities how it could have gone against the Darkness, but Gabriel was alive and that meant the only thing - his Father must have survived and resurrected him. And maybe, just maybe he had been giving the archangel some grace back. The only thing which bothered him was that his Father had chosen _him_. Why him? Gabriel had betrayed them, he had run away from Heaven at the most difficult times and let them fight each other, not caring about who would win or lose. And then he had chosen pagans over his own family. Why? _Why?_

"Gabriel?" Sam brought him back from his thoughts, a crease of worry appeared between his brows.

"Yeah?" Gabriel answered quickly, looking up into Sam's eyes and waiting for the hunter to continue.

"I'm heading out to buy something for dinner, wanna anything?" Sam asked tentatively as if he were afraid of talking to Gabriel, as if he were hiding something from the archangel. Gabriel quirked his eyebrow, intrigued.

"Oh, yeah, whatever you're having is okay with me." Gabriel said with a wink and Sam averted his eyes, turning around as to go out without a word back. But Gabriel didn't miss the blush on Sam's face.

"And Sam?" Gabriel called at the last moment, Sam was already at the main door.

"Yeah?" Sam said hesitantly.

"Don't forget something sugary as well. Some chocolate would be nice." Gabriel smirked mischievously at the hunter and chuckled when Sam grumbled something under his nose about him getting diabetes.

Gabriel was still looking at the spot where Sam stood just a moment ago, thinking about the hunter's weird behaviour towards him. Sam hadn't been avoiding him per se, but Gabriel saw how the other man always stayed far enough from him so that they wouldn't accidently touch each other. The archangel craved some close contact and he thought that he could have it with Sam. Of course, Gabriel valued his friendship with Sam and wanted it to last as long as possible with the limited time humans had on Earth, but still, somehow it wasn't enough for him anymore.

Suddenly Gabriel felt this weird sensation within him, everywhere around him and he shivered and curled up in the couch, putting his blanket over himself. It was stronger than in other instances, and if it were what he guessed it was, who would actually prayed to him, or thought about him?

He shook his head to clear his mind and turned TV on to distract himself from everything.

*******

"Gabriel," Sam called as he walked into the library where Gabriel was currently occupying the best armchair he had ever sat in, almost purring over the softness and comfort it offered.

"Gabriel," Sam said again and stopped right in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest, looking at him murderously. "Have you been watching porn on my laptop all day again?" the hunter said bluntly with a frown on his face. Gabriel could see Sam clenching his jaw, trying desperately not to punch him. "Didn't I tell you to keep your hands off my stuff? Especially my laptop?!" Sam snapped at him, waiting for Gabriel to give him an appropriate answer. It was obvious that he thought that the archangel would deny everything or lie.

"Oh, Sam, you know me," Gabriel said with that flirty way of his and continued. "I'm just human. You can't expect me to stay completely celibate like you." The archangel winked at the hunter and smirked.

"Huh, are you serious? You didn't just pull the human thing again on me, right?" the hunter uttered in disbelieve.

"Sammy boy, it's been a while since I, you know... have some sexy times with anyone. You can be a hermit all you want, but I require some action, even if it's just porn. Although, I have to admit," he opened the laptop and a video started playing, dirty and obscenely loud noises pouring from the speakers, and it wasn't an ordinary video, it was that episode of Casa Erotica Gabriel had given Dean and Sam the day he had died, and he was one of the main stars in it. _Good times._ "You've got good taste, and finally something fun in here for a change." Gabriel pointed at the laptop and smirked at the hunter, trying to get at least some reaction from Sam, and he finally did. Sam blushed, surely embarrassed by the fact that he had kept the video on his laptop.

Gabriel was really proud of that video and the way how he had gone from this world, and he had been really surprised to find out that Sam still had it after all that time and didn't delete it or lost it even. That truly was worth of exploring more. Gabriel had already known that Sam didn't have a problem with having sex with men, so why would he oppose to Gabriel and his millennia-worth of experience in that department? It was just sex after all, and they still could be friends. It didn't change anything. They would just have more fun than now and they wouldn't have to go out and find some stranger to deal with it. Good idea, wasn't it?

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dears!
> 
> I have a surprise for you. Well, yeah! It is another chapter and it's not even Saturday. 
> 
> I was thinking that because I'm not going to be online on Saturday, I should probably upload another chapter before that day so that you wouldn't have to wait too long. And then I realized it's a national day here in the Czech Republic tomorrow and I have more time on my hands than I thought I would have. So, here it is. I hope you'll like it.
> 
> As always, I appreciate anything you send my way!
> 
> ENJOY!
> 
> Also, I love this song [Boston - More than a feeling](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSR6ZzjDZ94&index=1&list=PLxBM_YWNDfzD1rygQw7R3aujVW_16v4Kw)

# Chapter 16

"What the hell, Gabe. Why are you watching _yourself_ on _my_ laptop?" Sam said in disbelieve and immediately reddened upon the realisation that he used a nickname for the archangel. The hunter averted his eyes and pursed his lips, regretting that he let his temper show his idiotic head. He inhaled deeply as if to continue in his rant about Gabriel using his laptop, pass-worded on top of that. _How he managed to get into it_. The hunter started to shuffle around uncertainly as if embarrassed by his admission of liking Gabriel enough to give him his own nickname.

"Oh, kiddo, getting familiar so quickly. What about a date first, huh?" Gabriel said, smirking at Sam playfully, and even though Sam knew the archangel couldn't mean it, not really, he couldn't look him in the eye and tell him to fuck off, because he didn't want him to leave. Although they were just teasing each other, Gabriel hit too close to home.

Sam tried to put himself together and look nonchalant as if it didn't bother him at all, but deep inside he realized there was true longing for human contact, strong and intense yearning for the intimacy which he could get just from another human being, from a lover. And not any lover. He wasn't like Dean, or Gabriel for that matter, he couldn't just go into a bar and chat up someone for a one-night stand. It wasn't in his nature. Deep down in his soul, he dreamt about a real relationship, not just a fling for a night or two, or just for sex. Sam needed true feelings from his partner. And that was something he couldn't have in his line of work, or with Gabriel, he thought. He couldn't imagine the archangel wanting to be with him, being exclusive with him. What a pathetic dream.

Sam tried to hide his embarrassment in something what looked like a pout mixed with a frown, and hoped that Gabriel hadn't noticed his reluctance to tease him back or shout at him in annoyance. Because it would be a normal reaction from him. Sam looked at Gabriel briefly and decided to go away, or more like run away.

The close proximity with the archangel was like a punishment to Sam. It had been quite a shock when the hunter had realized he liked Gabriel, followed with admitting to himself he found the archangel attractive, at least in his own cheeky way. Well, he had felt this way for some time. Sam just liked his positive and playful personality. Gabriel always had a joke or a story to tell. Always something interesting and engaging. The archangel had lived his life to the fullest, using his powers to punish assholes, not caring if it was a human or just another monster, living among humans, enjoying all the vices humanity could offer.

When Gabriel was in the right mood, he could talk for hours about his shenanigans with other gods and semi-gods, about him impersonating Loki and the Trickster. Sam loved these happy moments when they enjoyed each other's company, just talking and spending time together, watching TV and also hunting; it had got better since the first one. It was fun for Sam to teach Gabriel how to shoot the gun, and the hunter had to admit the other man was good at it.

Gabriel was fun to be with when he was himself, not trying to be someone else. The mirth in his eyes and cheeky smirk just did it, just finished what Sam had thought for some time. He liked Gabriel. He wanted him just for himself. It was clear as a day. Maybe not for the archangel, thank whomever for small graces, otherwise Gabriel would tease him about it for ever. But Sam couldn't deny the fact that he was drawn to Gabriel. This friendship they had created between them wasn't enough for Sam anymore. Sam wanted more. He needed more but was afraid of acting upon his feelings, afraid of losing this nice companionship they had found between each other. Especially now, when apparently - Sam wasn't blind - Gabriel's powers were coming back to him. Slowly but surely the archangel would get his strength back and move on to do whatever he had done before, punishing assholes and embarrassing idiots.

And then it hit him like a bat into his face. _Gabriel was getting his powers back._ Sam's eyes widened in realization that it meant Chuck was out there somewhere, alive and kicking, because there was no one else to have enough power to surge so much into the archangel. _Right?_ But the hunter thought that God had died with his sister when his brother had sacrificed himself and gone kamikaze towards the Darkness. Seriously though, what the hell?

"Chuck? If you can hear me, fuck you!" Sam spat out at nothing in particular, but nothing happened. No lightening striking him, no shorter man appearing in front of him and judging him with the power of God. Nothing. But when Chuck ever did show up and helped? He could count the instances on the fingers of one hand! And not that he had been happy about it. Though it didn't take Sam's thoughts about his brother being alive away. And then he slapped himself into his forehead for being such an idiot. Why hadn't he gone there and make sure that Dean really had been dead. Sam just assumed that the plan had worked as they had wanted and that was it. Why should he go there and see whatever he would have seen, and grieve more?

Now he regretted his weak mind and resolve that he hadn't go there, make sure for himself that it had been really done how they had planned and that no one had survived. The balance in the world had been created but he hadn't witnessed it by his own eyes. And that right there was a huge mistake for someone like Sam, an experienced hunter, who should know too damn well that if he hadn't seen something by himself, it should have been labelled as unsure and unresolved.

_Oh, fuck._ What if Dean had survived? What if he had been alive somewhere for almost two months, not knowing who he was or in the worst scenario, tortured and used. All these thoughts were occupying Sam's head, swarming there like wasps.

But then the hunter got this fleeting idea of Dean surviving everything and not wanting to come back, leaving Sam hanging because of all Sam had done. It was Sam after all, who had let the Darkness loose, trusting a witch, then trusting his visions of Lucifer that he had been the only one to be able to help them. Such a bullshit. _No._ Dean would never do it to him. Sam was sure that his brother would have reached out to him somehow and told him whatever it would be.

"Dammit." Sam cursed to himself. This uncertainty was gnawing at his mind and sanity. If it was really true and Gabriel was getting his powers back, since he had healed too quickly and just after a couple of days he could walk, any other reason was just ridiculous, there surely was no one else but God who would have this much power. Who else would give their power to Gabriel just like that? Kali? Or other pagan gods? What a joke. Kali was powerful but if it had been even possible, she would have never given up her strength and revive Gabriel. And other gods, laughable. They didn't like the archangel, they just tolerated him. And after they had found out who he really was. _No, impossible_.

Sam remembered that one conversation they had had with Chuck about him reviving archangels to help him defeat the Darkness, and him claiming it impossible because it would have taken him too much power and time he hadn't had at that moment. But now? Now, if he was alive, there was surely time and maybe even power to do that. And it would even make sense, seeing the archangel hadn't got his powers right away after he had come back to the living, rather that they were returning to him gradually, as if Chuck had to wait to acquire enough to pour it into Gabriel.

_Fuck._

The hunter was pacing in the empty room in long strides, thinking and reflecting on the past events. And into all of that, there was a thought of Gabriel leaving him creeping into the front of his mind. Sam got so used to the archangel's presence and playful attitude that he wouldn't know what to do with himself without Gabriel around. Sure, sometimes the hunter had difficulties to get over his crush on the other man, but the strange and unexpected friendship they had created between each other was worth it. And even if the hunter would never have what he wanted, this was better than nothing, wishing deep down that Gabriel would stay a little longer despite having his powers back.

Sam had no illusions about the archangel staying in the bunker just because he didn't have anywhere to go, and Sam had accepted him without question, without any conditions - just some basic rules - not even forcing him to work and earn some money for them both. Although Gabriel had been trying to learn some things from Sam and improve his skills at tricking people and get money out of them, it seemed to be more difficult without his powers than he had initially thought. It was sometimes funny to watch the archangel refine his moves and polish his play of words. Another thing Sam admired about Gabriel was not giving up. Although there had been moments when the other man wanted just that, his mood would darken and he would sulk Sam's patience out of him, but those moments were rare and short-lived. Everyone had gone through such days in their lives. It was so human, Sam would sometimes forget that Gabriel wasn't one, not in mind and soul.

And then there was Gabriel's dog, incredible little creature whose personality matched that of the archangel. The similarities between them were uncanny. Sam smiled upon the image of those two running around outside of the bunker. Such a domesticity. _What the hell._ If Dean had seen it, he would have screamed and disowned Sam right there, at least for a couple of hours.

All these thoughts jumbled in Sam's mind, mixed together, giving him a hard time to concentrate on one thing at a time. And then the hunter abruptly stopped his pacing in half stride and realized-

"Cas, you son of a bitch, I hope you didn't leave me here alone and ran away instead of telling me." Sam shouted angrily into the room at nobody in particular. It was empty except the hunter standing there in the middle with his palms curled in fists and a frown on his face, his blood was boiling, raging with his anger, his heart pounding hard in his chest. Sam couldn't calm himself, he saw red, fuelling the anger by sorrow, disappointment, betrayal and abandonment. And just in that moment, Gabriel decided to honour him by his presence.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I'm here again with an update :). I know that I said I wouldn't have time to write anything during the weekend, and I already uploaded one chapter this week, but honestly, I've written some more chapters ahead so I would know what to expect or where the story would lead me. And because I'm finishing the story up slowly but surely, I would like to give you everything by the end of the year. It's not a promise but I might upload two chapters a week (on Wednesday and Saturday). 
> 
> So, here it is. I hope you'll enjoy it. Let me know what you think. I appreciate everything you send my way.
> 
> Some more music. I love the lyrics: [ Ozzy Osbourne - Dreamer](https://youtu.be/LCCiwPEdEpg)

# Chapter 17

After openly flirting with Sam to provoke some reaction out of him, to let him know that he was interested in more than a friendship, the only thing Gabriel had managed to get from Sam had been an awkward shuffling around and his retreating back a few minutes afterwards.

Gabriel's smirk slipped from his face as if burnt, not understanding Sam's reaction to his advances. It had taken him quite a lot of thinking when he finally realized what an idiot he had been to think that Sam would take it as something real, an actual invitation from him. Gabriel knew that Sam wouldn't be opposed to having sex with a man - and hello, he wasn't even a man, it was just a body - those magazines were the best proof the archangel would ever get and he had noticed sometimes that the hunter would eye some guys up in bars. Not that it had been a frequent occurrence but the interest in men was definitely there, and Sam could try to deny it as much as he wanted.

And there were also times when Gabriel would notice Sam glancing at him, watching him from the corner of his eye. The tension had been growing exponentially between them and Gabriel had enough issues to deal with to have yet another problem on top of that all. It was the best solution at the moment, at least by his standards.

But the problem was that Gabriel had been always a huge flirt and if he had got lucky, the archangel would use that opportunity to have some fun, just a one-night stand to keep him in the game and nothing else. He would never meet those people again.

With Sam, he realized, it was different. He would try going for a friendship with benefits. Why not. Though, sometimes Gabriel would catch himself wanting the hunter for himself, just him and no one else. And those dreams he had been having didn't help either. Almost every damn night. If Sam knew what those long showers actually meant, well... He could join him. Gabriel smirked at the image.

Anyway, Gabriel had tried all sorts of possible relationships in his long life, there was nothing he wouldn't want to try and experience, though this humanity thing made him possessive or something, because he would consider having an exclusive relationship with Sam if it were a possibility. Yet, Gabriel didn't want to settle down or any such shit with a human. Otherwise, there would be huge chance to get too close to them and then he had to watch them wither and get old and die. And since Gabriel hadn't lived in Heaven for ages, and he didn't want to go back, even if he could, he would never see them again. And that was too painful to experience, he knew that damn well. Oh, there was something else, but it was too much to think about right now.

Gabriel couldn't think of any other way to let Sam know what he wanted, and the other option was to tell him directly without hesitation. But there was also one annoying thought on Gabriel's mind, poking at him and trying to get onto the surface. Wouldn't it be better to have at least something like a friendship with Sam, instead of ruining it with sex and have nothing afterwards?

The archangel frowned in concentration, staring blankly on the last spot Sam had been standing on. Without even realizing it, Gabriel stood up, still deep in thought, and walked towards Sam's room where the hunter had surely been moping or pacing around, annoyed by Gabriel's remarks. But when he got close to the other man's room, he heard Sam shouting, swearing and in between, the archangel recognized the name of his little brother, Castiel. What was happening? The curiosity won the game against the caution and he walked into the room, looking silently around the place but after seeing just Sam in the middle of the room, he spoke.

"Sam? Are you alright? I've heard you shout." Gabriel asked tentatively, waiting for someone to jump on him from behind as he was looking around and assessing the situation once more. But still seeing nobody and nothing dangerous, the archangel approached the hunter so that they would be just a few feet away from each other. Gabriel was looking at Sam, trying to determine what was going on with the other man. He couldn't think of anything what would have frown the hunter into a fit of shouting into the empty room. And then a thought occurred to him. Sam had always been prone to lose his mind without his brother. But Gabriel thought that had been behind them, that he had done a good job distracting Sam from everything what could bring sadness into his eyes and into other features of his face.

"I've heard you say my brother's name among all those curses. Why?" Gabriel asked carefully, not wanting to make Sam more angry than he already was but he needed to know what was happening. Sam sighed loudly and rubbed his eyes, he stroked over his face several times and then sighed again, sitting on his bed, resting his forearms on his thighs and leaning on them, then he tilted his head down as if in defeat.

There was a silence for a few minutes, Gabriel listened to Sam's deep inhales and exhales, watching his shoulders rising as he breathed deeply. Then the hunter raised his head, smoothed his hair back from his face and squeezed his palms together strongly, stroking them against each other as if trying to rid of his nervousness and a mix of other strong emotions. Gabriel could see that all and feel it too, and it surprised and frightened him at the same time.

The archangel's eyes widen in shock that he could feel an intense flow of emotions streaming off of the other man like water from a dam but he also felt the hint of betrayal and sadness in there among all those angry vibes Sam's body was emanating into the air of the room. Suddenly, Gabriel couldn't breathe properly how suffocating it was to stay here, in this room with Sam, whose suppressed feelings were forcing their way out of him and right towards the archangel, surrounding him like a vine, pressing on him. He clenched his fists firmly, causing his nerve endings react by a pulse of pain surging through his whole body, getting him out of the haze of archangelic thoughts, the energy almost paralyzing him how strongly Sam's emotions were affecting him.

Gabriel blinked several times to get out of it and to concentrate on Sam, who was talking-

"-and he promised, he promised he would stay with me because you know how it ended last time, right? So yeah, and right after the world was okay again, he just disappeared, left me alone here, just like that, with no contact on him or anything. Without a damn word. So I'm pissed, alright? I'm really pissed at him, fucking coward." Sam finished, rubbing his eyes again and then looking up at Gabriel, seeking something from him. Comfort? Or some kind of explanation?

Frustration was seeping from Sam in waves and Gabriel wasn't able to block it all out and couldn't answer the hunter right away, which Sam misunderstood as his reluctance to side with him on the matter. And Gabriel hadn't even heard the whole thing, but Sam probably rented about Castiel leaving him, and yes, that was a dick move. Castiel must have known that losing his brother would drive Sam crazy as it had happened before, and not just once.

Sam was looking at him, waiting for him to say something, to help him to understand, but Gabriel didn't know why Castiel had broken the promise to Dean and left Sam alone, without even contacting him back about his whereabouts. The archangel would understand if his little brother had gone away to hunt someone or something to get the anger and loss out of him. Gabriel knew very well that Castiel considered the Winchesters his friends and one of them dying could have stirred something within him. But leaving Sam altogether, not coming back at all, that was unlike him. Sam was still looking at him with his pleading eyes. _Those eyes will kill me one day._ Gabriel thought with a mental groan.

"Well, what can I say." Gabriel sighed and sat on the bed, right next to Sam and was staring intently at the chair at the opposite wall, not even slightly thinking about the closeness between them. "I'd _love_ to know why Castiel did it, trust me, kiddo. To be honest, it's so unlike him I'm concerned about his life. It's been two months right?" Gabriel asked, glancing over at Sam, who nodded and said a faint "yeah" as an answer. And again, the archangel had almost lost himself in Sam's eyes full of sadness, tugging at his slowly restoring grace, and he quickly averted his gaze onto the floor in front of him, leaning on his thighs with his forearms. "Well, I would suggest doing some research. Maybe we find something about my little bro. It's pretty suspicious he hasn't contacted you yet." Gabriel gazed up at Sam once more and added, "Castiel is different. Oh yeah, he did some huge shit when I wasn't around, but this is _not_ in his nature to break a promise of a dying man like that." When Gabriel didn't continue for a few seconds, Sam took a deep breath as to say something but on the last moment he closed his mouth, pressing his lips strongly together. Gabriel knew what the hunter wanted to ask him. He might have anticipated this conversation for some time.

"Yeah, I'm getting my powers back." Gabriel said with a serious tone in his voice, waiting for Sam's reaction to his revelation but saw none, as he expected.

"I know. I've known for some time actually, right after the first hunt when you hurt yourself and healed real quickly for a human." there was a short pause. "Do you..." Sam stopped abruptly, hesitating for a bit as if he wished to ask something but was afraid what answer he would get.

"Sam? You know you can ask me anything, right?" Gabriel encouraged him gently. He didn't like these emotional moments but it was the least he could do for Sam.

"I just... how is it possible? You alive again and getting your powers back, how?" Sam asked with a frown on his face.

"Well, there is just one being powerful enough to get me out of wherever I was when dead. And that is my Father. You yourself told me once you've met him and heard him say he could do that. If you think someone else, or something else could bring me back, or wanted even, that would be a really good joke, kiddo. There's no one else who has the power to bring back an archangel, trust me." Gabriel laughed out loud at an idea appearing on his mind. "Although there is one other who would be able to do that. My auntie, the Darkness, but she would still need my dad to help her. She doesn't possess the light needed to create angels. Oh, don't get me wrong, she has the power, yeah, but not the light needed for our grace and your souls, you know." Gabriel got carried away by telling Sam more about his family and what they could do. But it wasn't important.

"So...you're telling me that Chuck is alive with his sister, on a vacation somewhere in tropics and he didn't have the courtesy to tell me at least _something_ about my brother, what actually happened to him? Nothing?!" Sam growled angrily, stressing the last word even more than the rest. "Dean sacrificed himself for the world, to save it when God couldn't do it, and at first even didn't want to. What the fuck, Gabe? I don't understand." And there it was again, that pleading look and a frown between his eyebrows from Sam when he wanted to understand something and expected Gabriel to explain, since he was an archangel and all, but he didn't have the answers the hunter sought from him. And his heart flattered a bit over the nickname Sam had used again for him. This was nice.

"I wish I could tell you, I really do. Though I'm getting my powers back, in reality I can't do shit. I've tried already. Just the healing and sensing stuff. Nothing too fancy or helpful to you." Gabriel said in an apologetic tone but Sam's eyes narrowed and his lips pursed into a thin line, as if he didn't trust the archangel telling him the truth.

"There's nothing you can do, then? There's no spell or anything we could use to bring him here. Or..." Sam hesitated again, looking down at his hands in his lap, but decided to continue and gazed up back at him determinedly. "Or you could try to find Dean. Or, or Cas! He might know something." Sam pleaded with those damn puppy dog eyes of his.

"Sam," Gabriel sighed, searching for the right words and gently explaining Sam that he was still useless, just not that fragile anymore. But there was no way how he could find someone in such a wide world around him, even if he wanted, and yes, he wished to know and find those two idiots, not much his Father, though. "I already told you, there's nothing I can do, but maybe after few days I could try again, okay? In the meantime we should do research and pay a visit of that place where they met. We could find something there that might direct us further. What do you say, Sammich?" Gabriel asked Sam with a smile, trying to give him some hope at least, even though there was no certainty. But still, at least they should look into it more. Although it had to be painful for Sam to re-open the barely healed wound of losing his brother and now finding out that he could have been alive for the whole damn time, Gabriel was sure that researching and doing something was better for Sam than sitting in the bunker and wasting away his life like that.

Sam thought about it for a while, the archangel could see the cogs in his head turning, his anger and betrayal eased up a bit as well which was an awesome thing to feel, since Gabriel struggled to keep himself together when he tried to talk some sense into the hunter.

And right at that second Gabriel realized that _this_ had been just the exact moment he needed for Sam to see that he could be responsible as well, and that he could take care of the hunter when he needed it the most. The archangel finally understood that the friendship between them was more important than any human urges or vices he had the opportunity to experience in his long life, and that this understanding, helping and supporting each other was worth more than a quick, occasional roll in the hay. Gabriel felt that not only did he want Sam sexually, but also wished to stay with him, because he enjoyed their time together and he never got bored, either. However, how to convince Sam to accept the archangel in the same way and not frighten him in the process? That was something to think about privately during the nights in his room.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> As it always is, life happens and my plans go to... vacation. Speaking of vacation, I need one, as soon as possible. I really hope you'll enjoy this chapter. It was written some time ago because right now I wouldn't be capable of writing something positive.
> 
> I've been trying to write more lately (it's been almost two weeks since the last chapter I wrote) but life just won't stop messing with me. So, yeah. I'm sorry beforehand.
> 
> Anyway, if you want to contact me on tumblr, you can find me here: somebodyloving.tumblr.com . Any comments/kudos are appreciated!
> 
> Enjoy the weekend!

# Chapter 18

"Gabriel? I think I found something." Sam said as he was reading an article on the Internet, checking the details once more.

"Oh yeah? Let me look at it." Gabriel replied lively, jumping up excitedly from his seat on the other side of the table and running to Sam, leaning over his shoulder to read it. Sam froze for a moment, completely losing his concentration on the task ahead as he felt the warmth radiating from Gabriel's body, his hot breaths falling in regular waves on the back of his neck and right ear, causing Sam's mind and body to react wildly to the sudden close proximity of the other man. It was terrifying how the archangel could affect him just by this innocent gesture of trust and casualness towards him.

It had been two months since that day Gabriel had appeared in Sam's bed, oh, and not in a funny way. And since then they had been getting closer and closer to one another, building up something between each other that Sam would have never expected to have with the archangel.

These past weeks it had been harder for Sam to draw a line between their friendship in real life and the sexual fantasies in his dreams. And on top of that, Gabriel had been acting strangely these past couple of days, always standing or sitting too close to Sam, brushing lightly against him when watching TV together, unnecessarily touching him here and there when explaining something or like now, leaning over Sam and resting his forearms on his shoulder as if it were completely normal behaviour of his.

But the problem was that it invoked feelings within Sam he had been desperately suppressing around the archangel; excitement and quickening of his pulse, light fluttering in his stomach, his blood rushing through his veins down to places eliciting desire inside of him and _that_ he always quashed down purely by the strong will of his mind. Sam was very proud of himself that he had managed it so far without too much trouble. And then he would go to his room, lock himself there and do his business, trying to be quiet so that Gabriel wouldn't hear him and find out what his presence had been doing to him recently.

Sam got out of his haze full of inappropriate images of Gabriel, and shifted uncomfortably on his seat as he adjusted himself in his pants. Sam just hoped that the archangel couldn't see or feel his thoughts yet. But the idea of Gabriel knowing everything, what was happening to Sam, what he was doing to him, drove the blush from his face in horror.

Sam cleared his throat quickly and shifted again which caused Gabriel to straighten up and cross his arms over his chest. The hunter swallowed as he looked back at the archangel, seeing the shadows falling on his features and noticing the familiar smirk and mischievous sparks in his amber eyes. _Oh damn, I'm so done._ Sam thought and turned around to face the screen of his laptop again, hearing the little grunts and hums from behind himself as Gabriel was thinking loudly through the information from the article.

"So," Sam croaked weirdly and blushed once more, embarrassed over his voice, and quickly added, "So what do you think? Worth looking into?" Sam exhaled silently, not humiliating himself over such a short sentence which he was very proud of at that moment.

"Well, I think, kiddo, that we should go and see for ourselves, don't you think?" Gabriel said and winked at Sam as the hunter turned around to look at the archangel. His gaze met Gabriel's and then Sam's eyes dropped involuntarily down on his lips, seeing a lively smile there. So the hunter immediately averted his eyes, shuffling around nervously as he stood up, picking up his laptop, and muttered something about packing up some things so that they could set out on the road as soon as possible the next day. And while Sam was blubbering some stupid shit as was typical for him in these situations, and almost ran away from the room, from Gabriel especially, he felt fingers circling around his forearm and he froze. When he looked up, the hunter could see the archangel standing just a foot from him, gazing up at him. Sam couldn't spot any signs of Gabriel laughing at him or trying to joke about his weird behaviour.

"Are you alright, Sam? You seem to be... pretty distracted lately." Gabriel said with a serious tone in his voice, no joking or smirking accompanied his question. Just an atypical frown appeared on his face and Sam felt a strong urge to smooth the creases between his brows and on his forehead, driving away Gabriel's worries. His fingers twitched as he was trying vehemently to calm his nerve endings and not embarrass himself even more than he already did.

"Errr, nothing. Just a bit nervous, I think. You know, I really wanna find Cas. Huh, but we'll see soon enough, I guess." Sam chuckled nervously as he looked into Gabriel's eyes again and saw doubt in the archangel's eyes but the other man let it be, drawing his hand back to his side and then he smiled at Sam.

"Okay, let's pack things up then." Gabriel said cheerfully, giving Sam so much needed hope in a couple of words. The archangel gave him such strong sense of belief that they would find Cas and then also Dean, both alive. Sam caught himself praying to whomever was listening, feeling as a smile was slowly creeping onto his face. The archangel's hopeful attitude truly was infectious and good for him, and at the moment Sam really trusted that they would find them.

Sam couldn't believe he hadn't done the research sooner. The hunter had been moping and hurting in the bunker, doing nothing in particular, not even trying to look. But Gabriel somehow had managed to get him out of his stupor and helped him do what Sam should have done long time ago if he hadn't been a self-absorbed idiot.

***

Sam woke up from a particularly juicy dream, and again with Gabriel in it. The hunter didn't understand the fixation and fascination of his brain directed just towards Gabriel. Maybe it was caused by him living with the archangel in the same place and seeing him all the time. And Gabriel, when he wasn't trying to be someone else, could be very charming. Moreover, there were not many opportunities to go out and talk to someone else, and Sam wasn't exactly interested in chatting with strangers. Gabriel was just at hand and Sam needed to socialize somehow.

Before, talking to his brother would have done it, satisfy his dose of daily socialization and Sam wouldn't have needed to talk to strangers. But now without Dean, and Gabriel being here with him constantly, accompanied by his dog, had been eliciting quite colourful set of dreams almost every night. The interesting fact was that they were never the same. Sam could think about whatever shit before he went to sleep, Gabriel would still appear in them. And oh, what they would _do_ in them.

It was embarrassing how fixated, almost obsessed Sam was by the other man and especially in those dreams. Some of those fantasies he would never think that he actually had about the archangel. And Gabriel in his dreams? "Wow" might cover it just slightly. Gabriel was driven with lust, wild, energetic, passionately touching Sam on places of his body the hunter would have never thought were so sensitive and he felt it so intensely as if it were real, not just in his brain. Sam would feel his heart quickening its beats, his blood flowing fast in his veins, the desire was definitely there and every time Sam would wake up aroused with the morning wood like a teenager and he would have to care of it right there, because the shower was too far and Sam didn't want to risk meeting Gabriel in the hall. No fucking way.

In his dreams Sam noticed that Gabriel would fight him for dominance so their fantasized making-outs were full of bites and scratches, and if it were real, Sam would surely have got some bruises on various parts of his body. Not that Gabriel would get out of it unharmed. Sam was taller and stronger after all, since the archangel had no powers, but still, the other man would fight him, and then he would always laugh when Sam growled at him like an animal, showing him who had the upper hand in this. That Sam didn't know about himself either, and it had been quite a shock. Maybe it was the demon blood within him, still somehow making him more violent?

The most frustrating thing with these dreams was that they would never go further then kissing and some groping of each other's bodies. Every damn time when Sam was prepared to fuck Gabriel senseless, the dream would end, dissolve into nothing like a mist in the morning.

Sam was worried that Gabriel would know what he was dreaming about and he would use it against him, joking about it or making stupid remarks since it was in his nature in the past, but there had been nothing from the archangel so far. Sam hoped it would stay that way.

And then it got even worse when Gabriel started getting closer to Sam, be it in a sense of space, or within their friendship. Sam didn't tell him to fuck off because he thought that Gabriel wasn't interested in him in that way. The archangel didn't tell him anything after all and his stance towards relationships in general weren't in sync with Sam's view of them. Sam wanted exclusivity and Gabriel had never showed any interest in serious relationships. And the hunter didn't care about casual. That wasn't his thing.

Still, Sam would observe some changes in Gabriel's behaviour and it was exactly the little things which were driving him crazy. Questions about his life even though Gabriel had to know everything about him. And no, Gabriel never asked about the time when he had been dead. The archangel would ask about Sam's childhood and his relationship with Dean, and also with Cas, as if waiting for Sam to tell him more by himself. Some other questions were about his likes and similar shit. At those times Sam would quirk his eyebrow at Gabriel, frowning in confusion, answering him with some apprehension. And then there were those casual touches and brushes. It was confusing as hell for Sam and he didn't know what to think of it.

And then there was this early morning.

Sam sat up on his bed, rubbing his eyes and stroking his face over several times to chase the exhaustion and arousal away. Sam didn't have time for that right now. Today, they were going to the town mentioned in the article he had read the other day. There had been happening some weird shit in there and in the middle of it there was some guy with dark hair, wearing a trench coat. Well, they hoped the man was Castiel. The article didn't mention anything more and they needed more information and details about the situation in the town.

The door from his room creaked as he opened it and immediately froze at the threshold. The strong aroma of freshly made coffee was flooding the hall and making its way through his nose into his fogged brain and there was also a tinge of bacon in the smell. Sam took the smell in by inhaling deeply and then sighed loudly, his mouth watering upon the idea of tasty breakfast for a change.

As he walked into the kitchen, there greeted him an image that Sam would never get out of his head, ever. Gabriel was standing at the stove, wearing an apron, stirring scrambled eggs and bacon in the pan, humming some melody the hunter didn't know. On the table there was a pot of coffee, two empty cups and plates with toasts prepared for them both.

Sam didn't even realize that he was staring. Staring at the scene in front of him as if he entered some kind of fantasy land where dreams could come true. The hunter became aware of his opened mouth so he closed it and then tried to decide what to do next. His brain provided some weird images so he shook them away from his head.

Gabriel was still turned to him with his back, not aware of Sam standing there and watching him like a creep. As if his pervert dreams weren't enough Sam had to be like that in real life as well. So he inhaled deeply and cleared his throat.

"Morning, Gabriel." Sam said dumbly, trying to sound casual but failing miserably. Gabriel turned around to face him and upon seeing him there, standing in the doorway, he just smiled brightly.

"Morning, Samshine. I just finished our breakfast. Hope you're hungry. It looks like there's a lot of it." Gabriel said, frowning at the pan and the contents in it as if they had betrayed him and doubled the portions just to be mean. The archangel bit his bottom lip in concentration, surely trying to find out if he had failed them or it would be okay.

"Oh, that's great. Thank you." Sam went to sit at the table and then looked at the clock, seeing it was just half past 7 and Gabriel was already awake and cooking them breakfast. It wasn't anything unusual for Sam to be up and running at this "unholy hour" as Gabriel would say almost every day. And that right there was exactly the reason why it was so strange to see the archangel already out of his bed and making them breakfast on top of that.

"Gabriel, I'm not complaining or anything but did something happen?" Sam asked carefully, still confused by everything around him. When Gabriel put some of the food onto their plates, he sat at the opposite side of the table and sighed contentedly, looking with loving eyes at his plate. And no, Sam wasn't jealous of the food or anything. No way.

"Well, because you've cooked every morning since day one of me living here, I thought I should repay it to you somehow and today was as good a day as any." Gabriel replied without hesitation. After having poured some coffee into their mugs, he dug into his food with passion, as was typical for everything Gabriel did. Sam was just staring and staring at the archangel eating and drinking, not able to comprehend what just happened.

"Oh. Okay." Sam uttered weakly and looked down at his plate. The food smelled amazing and when the hunter finally tried it, it tasted even better than he anticipated. It was the first breakfast Gabriel had ever made after all. Although Sam couldn't be sure whether the archangel hadn't done some experiments before this, it was still a nice gesture from Gabriel and it warmed Sam from inside. The hunter didn't even realize that he was making appreciative noises while eating, after he noticed Gabriel watching him with a smirk on his face as if he had won some prize or something. _What a little shit._ Sam thought but didn't let himself be fazed by it.

They ate in silence, from time to time mumbling some ideas or thoughts about the case ahead of them. It was a nice, calm and companionably spent time together. And that right there was becoming too dangerous. Sam could get used to this quite quickly if he wasn't going to be careful. He couldn't get attached to the archangel, because there was a real chance that Gabriel would leave him when he got his powers back. And Sam couldn't let himself believe that the other man would want to stay with him here, with someone like him; a human, who wasn't even pure since the time he had been a baby. It must have been bad to look at him with angelic sight, seeing his damaged and corrupted soul. Sam could just be glad that Gabriel wasn't able to see it right now.

And that right there was enough a reason not to think of Gabriel's weird behaviour as something more than just some strange proof of the growing friendship between them or even gratitude.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> Today's been a long day at work and I thought that I could cheer myself up by uploading another chapter for you. Weird logic, right? But I think if you're still reading this, I'm sure you appreciate it :). I think I'm over the half of the story and I will add some more tags. Just letting you know so you're not too surprised.
> 
> Here is another song I really love and quite fitting: [Simple Minds - Hypnotized](https://youtu.be/G9qCUv1wOF4)
> 
> Thank all of you for commenting, giving kudos or just reading. I appreciate it.
> 
> ENJOY!

# Chapter 19

Gabriel felt light and strangely content from inside. His grace had been slowly strengthening and he could control his archangelic senses more once again which he appreciated very much after that whirlpool of Sam's emotions the other day.

The breakfast he had made in the morning was a success and that had also cheered him up considerably. Gabriel had noticed complete surprise in Sam's eyes when the hunter had walked into the kitchen and seen the food the archangel had prepared for them both. How long had Gabriel been practising Sam didn't have to know. Fortunately, the bit that there had been a lot of it didn't bother Sam too much as he was a big boy and needed more sustenance than an average human. Oh, here went all those fantasies Gabriel had been having about the hunter's proportions. The archangel shivered over the images that appeared in his inner vision and were occupying the majority of his thought processes. He was lucky that Sam didn't talk to him as his gaze was focused on the road ahead of them.

They had been driving for a couple of hours and the time had been spent almost in utter silence. But it didn't feel weird or awkward. Gabriel gladly observed the landscape out of the window they were passing by and was enjoying the closeness of Sam's body and soul. As his powers were coming back to him, and he could feel more through his grace than before, Gabriel's senses could perceive feelings which were pouring from Sam as was quite typical for humans with slight emphatic abilities. The hunter probably didn't know about it since it was too weak for Sam to realize it by himself. And Gabriel didn't want to scare the shit out of Sam right now because there were more important things ahead of them, and they had to be prepared for anything.

As he was thinking about everything what had been going on between Sam and him lately, after a moment of contemplation, Gabriel had come to some very interesting thought. It had occurred to him that all those dreams he had been having so often might have been caused by his strengthening grace reaching out to the closest living thing in the bunker, and that was Sam's soul.

_Oh fuck._

Gabriel's eyes widen in realization and he flinched as if kicked, turning around quickly to face Sam's profile, staring at him with wild eyes. The hunter didn't notice Gabriel's shocked expression as he was fully concentrated on the road, his eyes barely blinking.

It was possible that Gabriel had been emitting some vibes from his inner core, radiating his sexual fantasies into the air and thus he might have been affecting Sam. What if Sam had actually been connected to Gabriel's dreams somehow through this _link_ and everything what had happened in them was their mutual fantasy?

Sam shifted slightly, clenching his jaw and taking a strong grip on the wheel as if he were really trying to stay focused on driving, but something was distracting him from it. Gabriel wanted to tell Sam, wanted to tell him everything he was feeling, that everything they had probably shared in their dreams had been true from his side and that he longed for the contact from the other man. But would it be too pretentious for Gabriel to really think that they shared some kind of link when asleep, building up a new world together, just for themselves without anyone disturbing them from the outside? Gabriel had never experience such a strong connection with a human before and it scared him. Such links were possible only in just a few conditions for an archangel. And there were not many possibilities in his state and with Sam's history. Although Sam had been destined to be a vessel for Lucifer, that meant that the hunter's mind and soul was strong enough to hold a link with an archangel.

Gabriel swallowed with difficulty, trying to breathe evenly so that Sam wouldn't see his struggles and fears appearing on his face and through all those still human reactions to his thoughts. Gabriel still couldn't control them all and hide his feelings in front of the other man. He felt vulnerable and stuck out in the open. Gabriel was afraid of Sam realizing that what they have been doing in the dreams was real and that the archangel was to blame for everything. Although it had been unintentional, Gabriel just couldn't shake off the feeling of worry that Sam would hate him for using his powers and molesting his mind when he had been asleep, not able to defend himself from the outer world.

It was terrifying how the thought of Sam leaving him or not wanting him around anymore scared him to death. The worst part in this was the possibility Gabriel had somehow made a link to Sam's unconsciousness and now he could force him into things just by a mere thought. Sam was human after all and had no defences against his powers. Yes, Gabriel still wasn't capable of his best game, not even close, but even that small piece of his power in him could change the dynamic between Sam and him.

What if Sam's warming up to Gabriel was just a side effect of his stupid desires and nothing else? The archangel didn't know, couldn't control it and now it could be too late to turn it back. Even though he wanted Sam to want him, in any way possible, Gabriel just couldn't be sure that it was all Sam, and not just his stupid grace playing with Sam's soul.

Gabriel sighed loudly as if in defeat, closing his eyes and trying to drive away all the thoughts that were killing his good mood.

"Gabriel?" Sam said suddenly, startling him and pulling him out of his mind.

"Yeah?" Gabriel blurted out, looking to his left at Sam, catching his gaze as the hunter glanced at him momentarily, still trying to watch the road. There was a small frown on Sam's face which meant only one thing; Sam felt that something was wrong with Gabriel, or at least suspected that the archangel had been distracted. Maybe there was really something between them that they themselves didn't know about. Gabriel could pretend that everything was alright, that there was nothing going on between them, but he truly felt how his grace bloomed in the attention Sam was giving him. And Sam's soul was trying to reach out to him and continue entwining with his grace as it had been doing for some time in their dreams. It wasn't too strong yet, since the link between them was new and formed without their consent. If they weren't going to strengthen it, it would die by itself without Sam even noticing.

Gabriel needed his powers back as soon as possible. Not being able to control its growth was dangerous in so many levels and the archangel couldn't think of any way how to stop it without making a run out of Sam's life. But just the thought of doing it sent shivers over his body.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked caringly.

"I'm fine, why you asking?" Gabriel said casually, trying to diffuse the worried expression out of Sam's face, but to no avail.

"You're as pale as death. Are you sick?" Sam inquired again, starting to pull over to the side of the road.

"No! No, Sam, just keep driving. I'm fine. Really!" Gabriel placated Sam but it was clear as a day that the other man was suspicious of him lying and that would never do any good to both of them. So, when Sam got on the road again, staying silently pissed at him, the archangel was thinking of a way how to explain Sam the dreams he had been having. But how could he tell someone that they had been the main star of his dreams, his sexual fantasies and that there was a possibility he had somehow influenced the other person like a creep and pervert he was. And especially when that person was Sam, who had been through some real shit in terms of possession and manipulation.

Gabriel was really worried that after hearing it, Sam would never want to talk to him again. And that thought scared him. Losing this friendship they had built up between them was something Gabriel started to cherish more than his real family members. The archangel realized that he would do a lot for the hunter and suddenly, the idea of staying with Sam until his soul would move on to Heaven - and he would go to Heaven - wasn't that unimaginable as he had thought before.

"Sam," Gabriel said to bring the other man's attention back on him, and damn, he was nervous, these human reactions to certain situations that he had still been feeling were driving him crazy. Annoyed, he growled little too loud and earned himself a confused look of Sam, who was glancing at him from time to time, surely searching for answers on his own.

On the one hand, Gabriel really want to tell Sam, stop saying nothing was the matter and just get it out of himself in the open so he would finally know how the things were between them. On the other hand the archangel didn't want to lose this, whatever it was. When did he ever have friends, or more like a friend like Sam? Smart, caring, patient Sam and sexy on top of all that.

"Come on, Gabe, what's going on?" Sam said, using the nickname, that one Gabriel had joked about the first time like a complete ass. Apparently, the hunter didn't realize that he had used it again but it did things to Gabriel and especially his grace that bathed in it like a lovesick schoolgirl.

_What the fuck is wrong with you?!_ Gabriel cursed mentally.

"It's just..." Gabriel tried to come up with some excuse hastily, chickening out from telling Sam the truth. "How much longer? I'm hungry." He whined, faking his displeasure of the long ride to the town they were heading to. Sam just rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"You're like a child, Gabriel." Sam chuckled fondly. "It isn't far. Just an hour or so. You've gotta hold up for a little longer." The hunter smiled and it was the best thing Gabriel could get at that moment as it pulled him out of his bad mood. All those fears forgotten, vanishing like a mist in the morning. That right there was the reason why he couldn't tell Sam the truth.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This chapter was fun to write. Believe me when I say that I've always had doubts about the quality of chapters before, but this one? This one is my favourite. And I hope that you'll have the same opinion on it.
> 
> I'm glad that someone's still reading this and I hope that you're enjoying this as well as I am. I appreciate your responses.
> 
> Enjoy!

# Chapter 20

Before checking in one of the motels in the town, Sam planned to drive at the precinct to talk to the sheriff so that they would have a better start in looking for Castiel right away. Of course, they had to buy some clothes for Gabriel to look the role and Sam didn't know that he could have so much fun in a shopping mall as the archangel had complained for the whole way there. The laugh had died down on Sam's lips a second after Gabriel emerged from behind the curtains of a changing room, looking sharp in a suit. How the guy so small could look so damn sexy and authoritative, Sam had no idea. His presence filled up the whole damn shop and Sam could see all those flirty and seductive looks the archangel had been getting from women and men both.

Sam clenched his jaw hard so he wouldn't give out any noises displaying his feelings of dominance over Gabriel. His inner struggle was so strong that he didn't even realize that the archangel was talking to him.

"Sammich, I look like a short version of James Bond. You know that's ridiculous, right? And it's uncomfortable and too tight in places. How can you wear it? And what the fuck..." Gabriel rented and rented about the suit but Sam totally tuned him out, just ogling him and willing his sporting half hard-on to go away and stop embarrassing him already. Like it wasn't enough to be aroused right in front of Gabriel, whom the hunter had a huge crush on, but in public? That was a new level of perversity. And then there had been all those people around looking Gabriel up like a fine piece of meat. That was the last straw.

Sam just grabbed Gabriel's forearm firmly and dragged him to the cashier and out of the shop as fast as possible. The archangel was oblivious to all the stares from the other shoppers, and Sam was glad for that. Although it was quite unusual for Gabriel not to notice such things. The archangel always liked to bask in the attention people would give him and he usually used it for his own needs. Yet, that day he could have cared less. And Sam had felt relief and a strange sense of satisfaction when some of those people had glared at Sam and turned green with envy when Gabriel hadn't looked at anyone else but Sam. That left a smile on the hunter's face, showing his dimples to the world. Oh, he was so done for the archangel.

***

When they arrived in the town, Sam knew right away that this place and people in it could be a problem. The town was quite small and that could slow down their research because people in such places were more cautious and didn't want to talk to strangers. Although Sam could pull out the FBI badge, for the people in smaller towns it didn't mean anything. These communities liked their privacy, no matter what happened there.

The article mentioned something about sudden occurrences of supernatural going on around the town. And the man in the middle of them, or more like seen wandering around, was described very much like Cas. The odds of the man being the angel were high and Sam didn't want to wait even a second longer than necessary.

So upon their arrival at the precinct, the hunter saw a group of people around its entrance, holding cameras, voice recorders and video cameras in their hands, obviously waiting for someone to come out. It was clear that something had been going on in there and the media had got the whiff of it already. In the doorway there were two police officers, holding the reporters  out of the building, trying to convince them that they weren't going to get anything out of them.

Sam looked at Gabriel, who was watching the scene with quirked eyebrow, surely questioning the sanity of those people. They were ventures, capable of doing anything for a story. Sam forced his way through the flock without too much trouble, Gabriel close in tow, and stopped right before one of the police officers.

"If you're here for the story, sir, you can go right back where you came from." The shorter police officer said firmly, eying Sam suspiciously. Sam leaned down because yeah, he was quite a sight among all those people around. Sam stuck out like a flagpole, especially next to Gabriel. That brought a subtle smile into his face but the look he was getting from the police officer brought him right back at the task ahead of them.

"Err... I'm here officially. With my partner here." Sam nodded at Gabriel, subtly taking out the fake badge and showing it to the officer so that no one around could see what he was holding in his hand. The officer's eyes widened in understanding as he nudged the other officer into the ribs who grunted at him but when he saw the badge in Sam's hand, the man looked up at the hunter in shock and fear. Well, that meant only one thing. They didn't expect the Bureau would investigate the situation in the town and they might want to cover it up somehow, not giving the media anything to write about either. Weird shit was bad for business anywhere.

"You can go in. Dave, take the agents to the sheriff. He's back in the office." The shorter officer said to the other, presumably Dave, who showed them the office where in the chair sat an older and bold man with a star on his chest, holding his hand with his hands, shaking it slightly as if in helplessness.

"Sheriff Brown, these are FBI agents. They want to know more about the situation here." The officer said and walked away right afterwards, leaving Sam and Gabriel standing there in the doorway. The sheriff was looking at Sam and Gabriel with a frown on his face, surely questioning how the FBI could sniff this out so quickly.

"Well, agents. Welcome. I hope you've got more answers than questions. I ain't sure what's going on here. I'm out of ideas. But I'll help with anything I can." The sheriff said in defeat, standing up and going to them. Sam always ready, taking out the badge again, motioning Gabriel to do the same, but the sheriff waved them away, more interested in getting to the root of the problem. Shaking their hands, the sheriff motioned to the two simple chairs in front of his armchair behind an old desk..

"Have a seat, gentlemen." After all three got seated, the sheriff gazed at them again. "Are you here for all that supernatural mess, right?" He asked and Sam nodded, getting easily into the role he knew quite well.

"Yes. I'd like to go through all the events that happened here. Do you have some list or records of them? It would be very helpful. Everything could be essential for the investigation." Sam said, acting like a professional.

They talked with the sheriff for at least an hour, taking notes of everything the man had seen or heard, about the witnesses and all the events that had happened in the town, giving Sam everything he could. Sam appreciated it and was glad that the sheriff had been so resourceful and not afraid of the FBI nosing around. Apparently, it was bad for the reputation of the town and the sheriff wanted to deal with the problem as soon as possible.

After discussing everything and agreeing on their mutual cooperation, all three stood up, shook hands and Sam and Gabriel made their leave. They slipped out of the precinct and went swiftly to the car so that the reporters couldn't follow them.

Sam sat into the car and sighed loudly, resting his head at the back of the seat, rubbing his eyes so he would drive the exhaustion away but in no avail. He felt tired. After that long drive and the chat with the sheriff, it was too much for his body and mind to go on and do some more research but he would be useless anyway without sleep so he decided to find a room for them in the town. Gabriel took the passenger seat, or more like humped into it, exhausted as well.

"I think we should find a room and research more tomorrow. I'm pretty worn out." Sam suggested and saw Gabriel nod in agreement, saying nothing else. It was so strange to see the archangel so quiet as if he were deep in thought and not having enough energy to use words.

Sam guessed that Gabriel had been thinking about Castiel and it seemed that the angel had got himself into some deep shit, at least according to all the information they had got from the sheriff. It was weird that Castiel had been alive the whole time and hadn't contacted Sam. Sam tried not to take it personally but it was difficult for him. The only question was spreading slowly in his mind, sowing a doubt in there.

***

When they finally found a place to stay for the time being, Sam realized that the mess happening in the town attracted a huge number of people, enthusiasts about everything supernatural. So the motels and other cheap accommodations were full and the only choice they had got was a room with a queen bed or for couples.

Sam knew that it was dangerous to sleep with Gabriel in one bed, so close to him, because of the dreams he had been having. He could start humping on Gabriel, or seeking friction from the archangel unconsciously and molest him in sleep. But Sam wasn't going to sleep on the floor or in the car because of his fears. He wasn't youngest anymore and his back hurt since that time he had fell asleep on the floor in the bunker. No way. Those beds were quite big for two people and he had been through it with Dean many times.

Sam took the keys from the room with one queen bed and went back for Gabriel and his stuff. When he told Gabriel that they were going to sleep in one bed, he expected everything but the reaction the archangel had given him.

"What?!!" Gabriel shrieked, widening his eyes in what looked like horror. Sam didn't know that it would scare the other man so much or that it would be a problem for them to sleep in one bed. Gabriel's response was really unexpected and Sam didn't know how to react to that.

"Well, I didn't think you would mind. We are two adults, in a way. I'm not happy but whatever. If you feel uncomfortable and got a problem with it, there is a floor to sleep on. I'm exhausted and I'm not gonna search for another room, just so _you_ could have a bed for yourself. Sorry." Sam said, resigned, opening the door with a key and dumping his bag on the bed, preparing stuff for a shower, not caring what Gabriel thought about the arrangements.

"O-okay." Gabriel uttered from behind Sam and put his bag on the floor on the other side of the bed, saying nothing else, surely moping like a spoilt child. Sam wasn't in the mood to argue with the archangel. He just wanted a hot shower and a bed to lie on. Nothing else mattered at that moment. Sam wasn't getting any younger and he was aching on so many places of his body that he could even rival some elders.

Sure, Sam didn't trust his body to listen to his reason, so he had a quick jerk off in the shower, taking the edge off of him, and went to sleep right afterwards, muttering something what sounded like a 'good night' to Gabriel and fell asleep so fast that if the hunter hadn't known, he would have thought that someone had drugged him.

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> So this weekend I finished the whole story, more or less. There are some things I need to polish before I upload it here, but otherwise it's done. For now, I can tell you this:
> 
> \- There are 32 chapters + 1 chapter with explicit content (in other words, smut) written by my friend because I suck at writing smut and I was thinking I would give the chapter to those who like that.  
> \- I would love to continue to write the next fanfic of this series, which is focused on Destiel (you've had a chance to read the prologue already), but I can't tell you when. It is usually up to my muse.
> 
> To give you a heads up. I want to upload everything by the end of this year. And if I'm right, it should be 3 chapters per week from now on. I really hope you'll like it. Let me know what you think! :)
> 
> Enjoy!

# Chapter 21

Gabriel was stunned, unable of speech or any other way of expressing himself. Sam had been always the one of the two brothers who had managed to completely surprise him for more than once. But this time it was different. He surely hadn't expected Sam to suggest this sleeping arrangement and when the hunter had revealed his plan to sleep with Gabriel in the same bed because there just hadn't been any other room available to them, the archangel had squeaked embarrassingly in utter shock, immediately thinking of the dreams he had been forcing on Sam and what could happen when they were going to stay in such close proximity for the whole night, possibly more.

His dog scuttled towards the door and started scratching it lightly, letting Gabriel know that a walk was in order, and the archangel wished he could stay out and not return until the morning. Gabriel had got an idea to go to a bar and probe some information out of people there but he would have to wake Sam up and tell him about his plan, dismissing it right after he laid his eyes on sleeping Sam, looking so peaceful and young. The archangel saw as Sam's lips twitched into a small smile and he shifted into a better position, grabbing his pillow tightly under his head. Maybe it was creepy to watch him like that but Gabriel didn't really care because he could see Sam in such a vulnerable state for the first time and the hunter let him.

There was a smile appearing on Gabriel's face as he realized what an important thing it was. Sam considered him so trustworthy that he allowed himself to fall asleep without fear of Gabriel doing something wrong to him. Sure, they had been living together for over two months already and in that time, Gabriel hadn't done anything that would make Sam suspicious of him. Still, it had warmed his grace and body.

Noises of scratches on the door took him out of his reverie and he stood up to let his dog outside, staying in the fresh air himself for a while, clearing his head and trying to take control over his strengthening grace and power. It wasn't much but it was a start and the fact that Gabriel had been affecting Sam with just a piece of his true power was disconcerting. His control was still slipping away from him and now he was cursing his lack of practise and his lazy ass that he hadn't paid enough attention to his studies. Oh, Heaven lessons had been tedious but now they appeared to be quite useful.

His dog trotted towards him, waggling his tail as he barked once to let Gabriel know that he was done, and the archangel turned around and went to their room. Sam was asleep, not having any nightmares or other dreams currently.

Gabriel gave the terrier his food into a bowl and went to shower, not thinking about Sam and his gorgeous sleeping form in the other room. He thought that a proper shower would take away the edge and tension he was feeling all over his body, though the tug of his grace towards Sam's soul was too strong and he couldn't stall the inevitable. The archangel was aware of the possibility to share a dream with Sam again, but this time he knew what to do. He could control his actions in these dreams and he could control his urges and feelings. And if something went wrong, he could get out and wake them both up, giving Sam the choice.

***

Gabriel recognized the place and knew right there that he was dreaming. It was the first time Sam and he had met at the college. Upon seeing Sam that day, the archangel immediately had taken the liking of the younger hunter. Sam was tall, lean and cute and Gabriel could see that he had a plenty of brawn under that loose shirt. He had observed how skilled the hunter had been, good with people, especially when smiling. Gabriel would have flirted with him more if Sam had been anyone else but a Winchester. That had been a forbidden fruit for him since he hadn't wanted to give himself away to other angels.

But this was a dream Gabriel was sharing with Sam and he could see the hunter sitting in the couch in his former flat. Sam's legs were spread wide, inviting and flirtatious, sprawling over the whole couch like a king, as if everything in here belonged to him, as if he was waiting for Gabriel.

"And I thought you wouldn't come." Sam said without any initial pleasantries, the corner of his mouth quirked upwards into a mischievous smirk, so unlike him that it surprised Gabriel, stunning him into silence. There were no words that could help Gabriel to concentrate more and not give up his resolve to control his grace. It was difficult to say the least, and it went even harder, literally, when Sam tapped with his hand the spot beside him on the couch. Gabriel knew it was dangerous to play with Sam's mind in dreams, surrendering to his needs and longing for the hunter. Gabriel knew that it was wrong to force himself on Sam, though at that moment he felt that he couldn't decide with his mind anymore, he couldn't move and control his body. Everything was in slow motion, or at least his thought processes were. Unaware of Sam standing up swiftly and coming to him, reaching for his hands and holding them firmly in his own, Gabriel felt his grace reaching out for Sam's soul, happiness streaming from it as if it was meeting an old friend after many years of separation. He didn't understand how it all happened so quickly without him doing anything in return, he just stood there, motionless, not capable of any movements as if he had turned into a stone that could react only to Sam's touches. And Sam touched him once and twice, and then he was touching him constantly, stroking his arms up and down with his fingers and Gabriel felt shivers running over his whole body, though they were in their dream, it felt so real.

Gabriel found the courage to look up into Sam's eyes and he saw them dilated, the beautiful colour of them retreating to the lust that was spreading further over Sam's senses. The archangel could see Sam leaning down, his eyes slowly closing, his hands reaching the back of Gabriel's neck and his thumb caressing the skin on Gabriel's jaw. All of it happened in seconds, but for the archangel it felt like years. And still, he could do nothing to stop it, to stop this madness that was about to happen. He just felt Sam's breath on his cheek and Sam's nose stroking his nose lightly. There was nothing else, no words, no moans or lustful groping of each other's bodies. Nothing like that. This was tender and soft and so loving, Gabriel just lost himself in it and at that moment he just forgot what he had wanted to do if this situation would come. Everything he had prepared for tonight's dream was gone, every piece of resolve he had had within fled away and he felt content and in peace and wanted.

Sam's lips pressed onto his, the kiss was light, more like a peck, surprising Gabriel in its softness, and a moan escaped from his throat like a bird from a cage. Sam was different this time as if he wanted to enjoy this moment when he still could. The archangel let himself get carried away by Sam's loving kisses, his tongue sweeping over Gabriel's lips, demanding entrance. Sam bit his lower lip, earning himself a gasp from Gabriel and a permission to deepen the kiss, their tongues were dancing together, tasting each other and changing the tender moment into passionate one. They were pressing their chests and hips to each other, wanting more.

Gabriel was lost in the moment, his lust and longing winning over reason. He tugged on Sam's clothes, willing them away and because he had the power in the dream, suddenly their clothes were gone. They hissed over their unexpected nakedness, though not losing any second to touch each other all over their bodies. Sam was wild and passionate as he had always been in their dreams, no restrain whatsoever, no kindness, no gentleness, just lust and passion in his movements now, biting Gabriel's jaw and collarbone, kissing him, or more like licking his way towards his right ear and closing his lips around the lobe. Sam's fingers were burying into the flesh of his buttocks, forcing him to move closer to him, seeking friction from him.

And then Gabriel froze. It was just a dream, his sick mind playing tricks on him, seizing the control over his body and giving in to the lust. He shoved Sam away from him, surprising Sam by the strength of it as the hunter staggered backwards, his eyes widened in question, rejection and confusion seeping from him in waves. Gabriel couldn't do it, couldn't molest Sam in sleep when he was unaware of it being real and influenced by his lost control over his grace. _What the fuck is wrong with me_.

"Gabriel?" Sam said breathlessly, moving closer to him again and lifting his hands up to take Gabriel's face into his palms, but Gabriel stepped back and out of Sam's reach as he tried to get himself together and end the dream hastily. He snapped their clothes back on and ran away from there, thinking hard to get out of the dream as soon as possible before he would do something he would regret later. He heard Sam running after him, not letting go and it took Gabriel quite a lot of willpower to wake himself up.

The archangel opened his eyes and was staring right into Sam's, their faces inches away from each other, their noses almost touching. They were so close that he could feel the heat radiating from Sam's body, the room was electrifying as his grace wanted more of Sam's soul, its purity and strength. Gabriel didn't understand why his grace was doing it, still grasping desperately after the soul inside of the other man's chest.

But then he sensed a light tug at his grace, something familiar was pulling at it, at his control of it, at the wall he had been building up for days. The wall was crumbling under his mental hands and his resolve was melting away.

Sam glanced at Gabriel's lips and then looked back up into his eyes, seeing there something that gave him courage to follow his instincts.

"Gabriel," Sam said breathlessly, raising his hand and placing it on Gabriel's cheek, drawing little circles on it with his thumb as he was watching Gabriel's reactions. The archangel knew that Sam was reluctant to make the first move and he himself was too mesmerized by his eyes and surprised by his feelings towards him. Gabriel would have never expected that what had happened in their shared dreams had been mutual, but he didn't want to jump into conclusions as he waited for Sam to decide for himself what he wanted.

There was dark outside, the only light from the streetlamps was streaming through the torn up curtains, illuminating Sam's face. Sam couldn't see much of his face but he still didn't care and leaned closer to the archangel, his lips hovering over Gabriel's for a moment as if the hunter was giving him a chance to pull away. As if Gabriel would ever say no to Sam, still stunned at Sam wanting him and crossing the bridge the archangel had been afraid of crossing.

Oh, the kiss was everything and more Gabriel had imagined. All those moments in their dreams were forgotten as the real thing overshadowed them on so many levels and the archangel lost himself in it, moaning into the kiss loudly, immediately grabbing Sam's t-shirt into his fists and trying to pull it up over his head. But Sam didn't want to stop kissing him passionately, pushing him wholly into the mattress, trying to dominate him. And to his utter surprise, Gabriel let him take over, his hands travelling down onto Sam's ass, sinking his fingers into it and getting a loud groan from the hunter. That reaction from the other man made him more desperate and he wanted more, pressing his hips up to Sam's, seeking more friction, his cock aching how aroused he had been since the dream.

Gabriel tried to snap the clothes away from them both but to no effect. Cursing his powers. _Damn reality._ He thought, growling with annoyance. Sam chuckled into his mouth as he was still kissing him, not stopping even for a second, rolling over him completely so that his hardness was pressing into Gabriel's thigh. Sam ran his fingers through Gabriel's hair, taking them into his fists and tugging lightly to expose his neck, getting a moan from Gabriel.

The archangel needed more friction and less layers of clothing between them. He started pulling Sam's t-shirt up again, making his way up between his shoulder blades, sinking his nails into the skin there. Sam groaned breathlessly and loudly as he stopped kissing Gabriel and rested his forehead on his, breathing unevenly, stroking the archangel all over his body as if he couldn't get enough of him.

Gabriel just wanted to keep doing what they had been doing, but this wasn't just one of his flings, a quick roll in the bed. This was Sam in real life, with him, kissing him, grinding against him, everything by himself without his grace interfering and forcing the hunter into anything. _Sam's soul consented._

Suddenly, Sam sat up onto his knees and started to take his clothes off, dumping them on the floor, not caring about the possible humped state of them in the morning. Gabriel stared at the hunter, caught in all that skin and muscle. Sweat was beading on Sam's chest and the archangel had an unimaginable urge to taste it, lick it off of his body. Instead of following his fantasies, Gabriel licked his dry lips, drawing Sam's attention on them as the hunter abruptly paused undressing himself, and gazed down at Gabriel with lust in his eyes.

There was a moment of silence and no movement, both hearing just their heavy breathing and strong and quick beats of Sam's heart. Gabriel's heartbeats had mixed up with the strong pulsing of his grace, not visible to the human eye.

Getting from the haze of his mind, Gabriel began to take his own clothes off, tossing them on the floor. And as soon as he got them all away, Sam just threw himself on him, devouring his mouth with his own, fucking him with his tongue, getting his hands on every inch of Gabriel's skin. Reaching in between their bodies, Sam took them both into his large palm, stroking them firmly and lubing them with their precum mixed together, driven with passion and want. It was obvious that he needed his relief fast and Gabriel definitely wasn't going to stop him.

Arching his back up, Gabriel pressed into Sam, moving with him in unison, moaning like a whore and hearing words and noises he didn't even register were escaping his mouth. Sam was kissing his neck, biting and sucking into it violently. There were going to be bruises all over, but Gabriel could care less as he was starting to feel a familiar pressure in his balls and stomach, but it was stronger than before and it scared him for a tiny second as he was losing control over his body, and his grace was reaching out to Sam's soul, sinking its imaginative claws into it. Sam was surprised by the sudden power surrounding them, gasping and trying to take some air into his lungs. It frightened Gabriel and he was about to pull away so that his grace would release Sam's soul but it was too late. He was too gone for letting go of the feeling that was spreading inside of him. And as he could still see, Sam had the same idea, his strokes quickened, seeking for release of the pressure they both were feeling. The hunter was beautiful like this, his soul glowing through his body like a star and Gabriel would watch him in awe if he could.

Gabriel knew that his grace was leaking out of his body as he was reaching his climax. And then he cried out, grabbing strongly the sheets into his fists, tearing them apart by the strength of his grip on them. He could hear Sam shout above him, though he heard him as if from the distance.

The archangel was completely lost in passion, almost leaving his body as he felt the hot light was surging into him, filling him up, almost fully into his former glory. It was hurting him and the sudden and unexpected pain brought tears into his eyes. He could taste the salty flavour on his lips, mixed with a trace of human blood in it. But the bliss that followed was worth it.

And then pitch black night gathered around them. Gabriel was motionless, breathing hurriedly and heavily. After a moment, he noticed that he was feeling cold and alone, and his grace was crying for something he couldn't identify right away, but then the archangel realized what it was, what his angel within him was trying to find and connect to.

"Sam?" Gabriel croaked out, opening his eyes with some difficulty. After blinking several times, he could see everything in the room despite the streetlamps outside being out. His senses much better than before, hearing a rumble of a thunder of a storm blazing nearby, feeling their release cooling on his stomach and chest. But right now he didn't care about anything but Sam.

"Sam?!" Gabriel tried again, slightly panicking when the hunter hadn't answered him right away. So the archangel propped himself up on his elbows and looked around himself. And then his eyes landed on Sam's naked form lying next to him unconscious. Gabriel could feel the hunter's body had been drained and weakened considerably. He touched Sam's shoulder, sliding his palm onto his cheek and healing him in reflex. The fact that it had worked surprised him. His grace jumping into the caring mode without even trying to much, which was also quite unusual for Gabriel as he had never felt such a flow of happiness seeping from his grace just at a thought of helping another being, and a human especially.

But the questions occupying his mind weren't important.

After a few seconds of his healing, Sam shifted a little and mumbled in sleep as if nothing had happened. Gabriel sighed in relief, smoothing Sam's hair back from his forehead and running his fingers through them gently. The archangel snapped some clothes back on them both, cleaning them in the process, and he managed to snap up more comfortable mattress with velvety sheets. Even if it was just for the night. It was the only thing he could do at that moment, exhausted and depleted of his energy already, but happy that his grace was slowly recharging its batteries.

Gabriel covered Sam's sleeping form with the soft blanket, leaning over him and giving the hunter a gentle kiss on his cheek, gazing down at him lovingly. The archangel was feeling his grace being satisfied by the current events, and he realized that his suspicion about the link between Sam and him had been true. And it was getting stronger by a minute. The worst part about it was that Gabriel wanted it, he craved it but at the same time he was scared of Sam's reaction because from now on they were connected to each other; his grace and Sam's soul shining like stars in each other's presence.

It was beautiful but frightening. And Gabriel dreaded the moment when Sam would realize what it meant for them both.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> As I promised, here is another chapter. I planned to upload it earlier but the servers of the page didn't work, but! Now they're working and I can finally put it on here. Chuck, bless the people working on the problem :D.
> 
> I hope you won't be disappointed.
> 
> Thank you for still reading this. It's really a good feeling to know that some of you like the story :)

# Chapter 22

After waking up, Sam didn't even manage to open his eyes and he felt like shit. The hunter groaned loudly, trying to sit up on his ass but everything in his body ached as if he had been run over by a buffalo herd without even noticing.

When Sam opened his eyes, he blinked several times to clear his vision. The room was quiet and dimmed by the curtains in the windows, though some rays of sunlight were streaming inside through little holes in them. Sam squinted when his eyes landed on the light and immediately averted his gaze back at the furniture in the room.

His mind being so clouded and his brain still asleep was a state Sam hadn't gone through for a very long time. It surprised him. Dread ran through his body. Beads of sweat appeared on his skin and his blood froze in his veins. This was a typical reaction every time when Sam felt like this and couldn't come up with any reason why.

The blankets were curled around his legs like a vine so he pulled at them and tossed them over on the other side of the bed. The sheets there were dipped and got creases as if someone had been sleeping there all night but when Sam touched the spot, it was already cold. It was that exact moment when everything from the last night came to him.

Sam had had the dreams about Gabriel again last night. The hunter remembered wanting him, longing for him, approaching the archangel in the dream and kissing him. Sam recalled Gabriel's reluctance to continue their activities and running from him. It had been new and not what he would have ever expected from Gabriel in his dreams. He had always been so compliant and passionate, always the one who had almost jumped on him every time when Sam had fell asleep. But this time was different. As if Gabriel had been afraid of Sam.

Then the dream had ended and Sam opened his eyes and seen Gabriel's beautiful ones covered partly by shadows. But the hunter had seen something in them, sparks of light and his heart had started beating fast and something had been pulling at it, almost as if calling his soul to go and catch something. And right at that moment Sam just hadn't been able to resist the calling and pulling, damn the consequences.

If Sam tried to describe it or express his feelings about what had happened between him and Gabriel, he would never find the right words for it. It had been just unbelievable. Sam had felt like his soul had been purified and turned over from inside out. And it had been just some friction and groping between them, and the act itself had been quite fast and Sam would have felt embarrassed if the archangel hadn't surrender to passion first. But when Gabriel had been coming, everything around them had gone into fire and pure angelic light. Sam had just closed his eyes in reflex and felt like something had been draining him of his energy and then... nothing.

_Oh my God. What happened!_ Sam thought mentally, his eyes wide in shock and fear, looking over every inch of his body and touching every bit of his skin just to be sure that everything was where it should be. But he didn't find anything wrong. He just felt tired as if he hadn't slept for a week.

After contemplating the last night for a few moments, Sam decided to go and have a shower. That would definitely clear his head so that he could think about what to do next. Sam just hadn't anticipated this to happen when they had so much research to do. It was pleasant but unexpected and it messed up the balance between them. The hunter was afraid that it would ruin their friendship, that it would be just a fling for Gabriel and nothing more. It would destroy Sam because he wanted this, whatever it was between them, very much and if he knew that Gabriel felt something for him, Sam would have never waited for so long to act upon his feelings, though he didn't understand what had happened with him last night. He just hadn't been able to resist anymore.

Sam shook his head, his hair flying around with his movements. When walking into the bathroom, the hunter realized that Gabriel wasn't in the room, probably out somewhere. Of course, there was some part of Sam thinking that the archangel had got his powers back completely and was gone now, never returning back to him again. But the idea of Gabriel not being here was depressing and the pressure inside of his chest ached as hell when he thought about it, so he resolutely stopped and stepped into the shower.

The hot water cleared his head quite quickly, loosening the nerves and soothing the aches in his body. There was a slight draft running through the joints of the shower and giving Sam shivers from the cold. He didn't think, he just let himself to feel the droplets sliding down his body, calming his mind and clearing away the fear from before at least for a while.

Sam didn't hear someone opening the door from outside. He didn't notice someone opening the door and walking into the bathroom either. The hunter let his worry float away, enjoying the shower and the hot water warming his body. The drift of the cold wind flowing through the gap between the door and the floor didn't make him wary so Sam didn't even notice that there was someone standing just outside of the shower cubicle, not moving at all.

And then he felt it, the warm stream of something heading his way through his chest right into his heart which started beating faster, again reaching out for something Sam couldn't understand. It had got him out of his hot-shower haze and he turned around to see a human-shape shadow. Sam somehow knew that he didn't have to be afraid of the person. His heart inside of his chest was singing, almost dancing at the fact that the other person was standing there, in the same room. And Sam had felt the same thing once. The hunter had felt it when he had been having the sex of his life last night.

"Gabriel?" Sam said hesitantly as he smoothed wet strands of his hair back from his face. Water was still falling down and over his body, not stopping for a second, though Sam suddenly felt as if the time itself stopped around him. The hunter couldn't move, he didn't even blink.

A hand reached out for the handle of the shower to pull it open and there he was, short but magnificent at the same time, angelic power and light surrounding him like a blanket. Sam could feel it, he could almost see it.

"Sam." Gabriel said breathlessly, though being an archangel and all, he probably didn't need to breathe. Still, his deep voice and dilated pupils sent wave of arousal over Sam's body. "Mind if I join you?" He asked as if Sam would ever think about saying no. The hunter didn't know what was happening to him, what kind of sorcery or powers Gabriel used on him, but his body betrayed his mind and took control over his senses, not giving him chance to even think about resisting. His blood was rushing through his veins at a pace Sam would be afraid of collapsing into unconsciousness if he paid attention to it at all. His heart was hammering inside of his ribcage as if wanting to burst out of it and ran towards Gabriel. Sam's vital organ was drawn to the archangel like a bee to a flower, or like a sunflower to wherever the sun went. It should be disconcerting, Sam should be freaking out, running away from Gabriel or kicking him out of there, but the only thing he managed to do was to stretch out his hand and take Gabriel's, pulling him towards himself, fully clothed, but who fucking cared about the clothes?

Gabriel's eyes brightened up like two stars, there was nothing of their true colour anymore. The amber and honey disappeared and angelic light took its place.

And then they were kissing like two men starving of the contact of each other, though they had slept with each other through the whole night. It felt to Sam like coming home after a very long time away from the place.

Gabriel snapped with his fingers and his clothes disappeared into thin air. The sudden contact of his naked body was electrifying and Sam moaned loudly, pressing even closer to the archangel, bathing in the closeness between them, in the warmth radiating from Gabriel in waves.

They kissed, they touched each other all over their bodies and Sam felt so blissfully content that he didn't even recognize the signs of his approaching climax. It was again quick but so beautiful and impossibly good, though the hunter almost collapsed on the floor of the shower how drained his body felt afterwards. Gabriel was talking to him, holding him upright but he just couldn't keep standing on his feet.

Tired, or more like exhausted to death, Sam just slid down on his knees and felt an uncontrollable need to sleep, to close his eyes and rest. He heard Gabriel talking to him, asking him questions with a worried tone in his voice but Sam couldn't answer or move. The only thing he could feel was contentment and happiness inside, something he hadn't felt for a very long time, if ever.

Sam felt warm and good and his mind decided to shut down, going to rest into the land of dreams. The hunter might meet Gabriel there again, as if he didn't have enough of him in the real life, and maybe this time, just maybe, Gabriel wouldn't run away.

 

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I promised, the next chapter is here, ready to be read! I'm uploading it now because tomorrow I won't be home. I'm going to Prague, meeting some friends I've met through Supernatural. So, chapter 24 will be up on Monday I think :)
> 
> Let me know what you think! I would appreciate it very much.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> P.S. A couple of days ago I started a new Sabriel fanfic. It should be a short one. It really should :D. I mean, I wanted this one to be short and look at that now :D. So, I won't promise anything [Connections](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8752411)  
> Anyway, I hope you like that one as well :).

# Chapter 23

"No, no, no. Dammit!" Gabriel cursed and kneeled beside Sam, checking his pulse as he tried to control the sudden surge of power within himself. He could feel how his grace seeped out of his body slowly, its bright light spreading into the room, surrounding them both. Gabriel didn't understand why his grace, otherwise calm and quite weak, went crazy as soon as he got too close to Sam. Alright, they had had sex and there had always been a possibility to kick-start it that way, but in his long, long life, Gabriel had never experienced such an enormous boost into his grace when having sex. And Sam didn't even know what he had been doing to them.

Since the first time Gabriel had met Sam, he could see something more within the hunter. Well, he hadn't given it too much attention back then but there had always been a glimpse of something in Sam's soul, and that had also been the reason why he had been the best choice for Lucifer's vessel. And it obviously hadn't been just the demon blood or some freaking destiny that had prepared him for taking the grace of an archangel.

But right now, Gabriel didn't have time to think through the ideas that were gathering in his mind. There were more important things to attend to, for instance, unconscious Sam lying on the floor of the shower.

Gabriel snapped his fingers and the water stopped falling down on them and then they both appeared on the bed, dry and covered in warm blankets. Sam was shivering from cold and probably also strong fever. He thrashed about with his limbs as if in shock so the archangel touched his forehead softly with his fingers and healed him with his grace which was overflowing with power just from their activities before, but not for long.

Obviously, they had already created some kind of link between each other but couldn't control it and Sam's soul and his grace wanted so much of each other that they sacrificed their energy to heal the other, and that had always weakened Sam so much that his body and mind couldn't deal with it in any other way than to shut itself down and fall asleep. It seemed that it was the only way how to stop the flow between them as it had happened twice so far and had the same result in both instances. As if the link somehow knew when to seize the exchange of energy between them, as if it had its own mind.

Gabriel's grace finally calmed itself and was slowly subsiding into the regular levels. As if nothing had happened just moments ago. The power he possessed right now still hadn't changed. Gabriel could heal and sometimes feel what others felt, or see what others thought - that was a new one - but that was it. Nothing huge or particularly helpful to them. It was true that Sam's soul had the ability to strengthen his grace for a while, but not enough to give it the previous glory for more than a couple of moments. The problem was that he shouldn't be able to do that in the first place. He was just a human and human souls couldn't power up an archangel's grace in such intensity. In a human soul there wasn't enough God's light to freely give it to an angel, and it was even more impossible to pass it over to an archangel.

A frown appeared between Gabriel's eyebrows as he was trying to think of some reasonable explanation while smoothing Sam's hair back from his face, running his fingers through them and sliding down over his cheek. His touches were soft and soothing as he healed every ache in Sam's body and mind, doing everything he could to set everything right. The hunter was dreaming and Gabriel could feel him looking for him in his dreams, as always.

"Father," Gabriel said quietly, pleading as he was gazing down at Sam's face, "what have you done to us?" His question went unanswered. What had he expected? Another time the archangel would have got angry and trashed everything at hand, but now, at that exact moment, he could care less as all his thoughts were concentrated on Sam.

The breakfast he had brought for them forgotten, getting cold on the table underneath the window. The day went on, the sun was shining outside through the clouds and it was snowing a little. Gabriel's dog was curled on the bed with them, sleeping after the walk in the early morning when the archangel had gone out for some snack.

Under the blankets it was warm and Gabriel helped Sam to recover as he was still thinking through the possibilities they had. What to do next? He didn't want to enter Sam's dreams as he feared what would happen, recalling the last time when Sam hadn't been willing to let him out of there. Gabriel knew that Sam's mind was strong, scarred but very strong even for his grace, but he hadn't anticipated such a firm pull at his own mind. It was blinding and difficult to resist as his own grace had wanted to stay with Sam's soul. Gabriel thought that he would be strong enough to severe their back-then weak connection and move on with their lives without even telling Sam about it, but after last night and this morning he couldn't stall the conversation anymore.

Sam stirred a little, rolling over towards Gabriel as if attracted by his sheer presence and thought focusing on him. Gabriel was observing his dreams and checking on their progress. Sam mumbled something from his sleep but didn't wake up.

After Sam would wake up, they had to talk about what was happening to them. It was unusual, very unpredictable and Gabriel hadn't had any experience with it. In their dreams, their connection wasn't so strong or maybe there was some kind of barrier between them, protecting Sam's soul and his grace from pumping their energy into each other and depleting themselves in the process. Gabriel would have to explore their space more thoroughly to understand it at least a little before they could interact with each other again, at least in the fun way.

The problem was that it seemed quite difficult to control themselves and resist the link between them. Gabriel felt like a cat on a catnip every time Sam touched him. But maybe the control had to be set with both their minds, not just his alone. _That could work._ Gabriel mused mentally, still watching Sam's dreams from a safe distance.

Apparently, his father had planned this, otherwise they wouldn't have been able to do that, since they were not compatible in any way. Oh, of course, Sam's soul and body was prepared for Lucifer's grace but Gabriel's grace was different, a bit smaller and not as powerful as his brother's, surely warmer than Lucifer's. Still, Sam's soul couldn't just change and swap the compatibility with his grace on its own. The only one who had the power to do that was God. He had all the answers to their questions, though his Father obviously didn't want to interact with them and help them to understand. That definitely wasn't a surprise.

Maybe his death had somehow changed him and his Father had added something into his grace so that it could be compatible to Sam's soul. But why? _What was the point?_ It sounded crazy, though he had learned a long time ago that this world was full of crazy shit.

Gabriel was pulled out of his reverie by Sam's loud groan and his shifting around, nudging him into his ribs. Sam was waking up and it was obvious that he felt tired the same way as before. Gabriel could sense the exhaustion in Sam's body and the hunter was a bit disorientated, his mind a jumble of inconsistent thoughts mixed with recent memories.

The archangel propped up on his right elbow, watching Sam intently so he could recognize anything being awry with the hunter. Sam opened his eyes and immediately grimaced, frowning as if in pain, blinking quickly and groaning loudly. Gabriel hurried to try and heal Sam, thinking that he had forgotten some painful spot in the hunter's body when he had healed him before, but Sam hissed at the touch and pulled away from Gabriel, leaving him stunned and also a bit hurt.

They were lying on the same bed, under the same blanket, in their bodies' heat radiating from them both into their mutual space. Just last night they had been almost as close to one another as humanly possible, but at the same time there was a gap, a wall appearing between them as if they were on the opposite sides of the room, far, far away from each other. Gabriel's grace felt the change between them and it had been just a moment as it cried out for Sam's soul, tugging at Gabriel's mind and will to move closer and touch the hunter no matter what. Oh, Gabriel wanted. He wanted to run his fingers through Sam's soft hair and kiss him again, give him everything he had within himself, but he couldn't because of the lack of control. And the archangel didn't even know if it was in his power to create a balance between them. He really didn't want Sam to collapse every time they had sex.

"Sam, are you alright? Are you hurting?" Gabriel asked worriedly as he was trying to carefully use at least some power to find out what was happening inside of Sam's head. He knew that it was rude and creepy to just look into the hunter's privacy like that, but Gabriel had to know. He hated unknown.

"What happened?" Sam croaked out as he rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes and face, not minding his state of half undress and the close proximity to the archangel. At least that was a relief that the hunter hadn't recoiled from him completely. After a moment Sam looked up at Gabriel and there it was, clear as a day; confusion and fear, millions of questions swivelling around in his head like a swarm of bees. Nothing from the passion he had showed Gabriel almost an hour ago. The archangel was aware that Sam's state of mind was more important than his own feelings, as unusual as it sounded to him.

"I think we should get dressed before I tell you." Gabriel said with a serious tone in his voice and rolled over to the edge of the bed, already dressed with just a thought. He still had some power within him but not much and he didn't want to deplete it everything on trifles. Sam didn't move an inch for a while, just blinking slowly as if surprised about something, and surely trying to get his head around what had just happened, since Gabriel had never used his powers like that during their time living together, or maybe it was him being serious for a change.

Gabriel heard some rustling behind himself as Sam stood up and was putting some clothes on, already fully awake from his daze. They didn't say a word for a few minutes, standing in the middle of the room, but not too close to each other, which was, of course, understandable but still Gabriel felt restless as his grace was longing for Sam's soul.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Tell me everything." Sam said sternly, keeping his feelings locked inside, trying to act strong but at least willing to listen to whatever explanation Gabriel had for him. It was going to be difficult to explain, or even express with words what had been happening to them from the beginning. Gabriel was frightened that Sam would never forgive him for manipulating his dreams, though it wasn't completely his fault. Now Gabriel had to believe in Sam's reason and good nature to give him another chance to remedy that. He couldn't be thinking about the possibility that the hunter would refuse the link and want him to severe it, destroy it.

Gabriel shuddered upon the thought and dragged himself towards the table and two chairs under the window, already thinking what to say first, how to start when he himself didn't know everything as he willed now cold breakfast away.

Having sat down, Gabriel gestured with the right hand towards the other chair on the other side of the table, giving Sam the cue to sit down as well. Sam reluctantly accepted the offer and slowly went to the table and settled down into the wobbly chair, his shoulders stiff and tense, clear signs of his inner struggle to keep his feelings at bay and not show anything in his face as he had been trained since childhood. The hunter didn't know, though, that Gabriel could see and especially feel what he felt. But Sam didn't have to know that right now. There were more pressing things to discuss between them.

The _link_ between them - such a dangerous but beautiful and unexpected little thing getting stronger by each passing day. Gabriel realized he wanted it, though he also knew that he was going to be vulnerable because the other person was human, and moreover, the man was Sam Winchester.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!
> 
> Here is another chapter for you. I hope you'll be satisfied :). 
> 
> If you like it, let me know! I appreciate your support :).

# Chapter 24

Feeling confused and betrayed didn't even covered it. Sam wanted to understand. He wanted to hear Gabriel out and he was willing to listen to his explanations, but his brain was still clouded and thoughts jumbled within in chaos. The concentration Sam had always been proud of having as a very well developed skill was slipping out of his reach because of how tired he had been feeling since he woke up.

Sam was waiting patiently for Gabriel to explain what the hell had happened between them the other night and today. It had been good and hot and everything he had wished for, though he had had doubts whether Gabriel had been feeling the same as him. But then, Sam had blacked out and couldn't recall a thing from after the sex. And now? He had just wanted a shower, soothing and calming to get a grip on himself and move on, wherever the situation would have sent them to, to whatever status Gabriel would have wanted to go from there. Instead, when Gabriel had appeared out of nowhere in the bathroom, stepping into the shower stall under the falling water with Sam, it had been as if Sam hadn't been able to control himself and his urges and his feelings and senses. It had been overwhelming and happened all at once and Sam had felt as if his brain had melted under the passion he had seen in Gabriel eyes and radiating from his body.

Oh, Sam had known or at least expected before that sex with an archangel would be something else, something more powerful and perhaps even more exhausting since they could last longer than humans, they were supernatural after all and Sam had experienced it with Ruby. He had also expected that it would be different, more bright and good and intense not in terms of body sensations but in terms of his soul, his insides and especially his mind.

Tiring, draining and sucking his life energy out of his body - those words hadn't been on Sam's mind when he had imagined having sex with Gabriel. The worst thing was that he couldn't help himself or stop himself from grabbing Gabriel's arms and pressing him onto his chest and hips and touching him all over, trying to find the most sensitive spots and use it for his advantage. Sam just wanted to hear Gabriel say his name, kiss him and never stop kissing him and running his fingers everywhere because it felt like his heart, or his soul, couldn't live without his presence. Sam felt the tug and pull towards Gabriel and he had thought that it had been just him feeling attraction towards the other man and admiration how strong he was. But now, he wasn't so sure about it. Them having sex had been the main part of his dreams and his fantasies and he had really craved the touch and close proximity of the other man.

Everything what had happened last night and this morning reminded him of the thing he had experienced when possessed by Lucifer - so out of control, seeing everything but unable to use his mind and act upon his reason, his body hadn't been his anymore. Though Sam just couldn't compare Lucifer to Gabriel. It wasn't fair, it just felt a bit similar and it freaked him out a bit. This waiting for Gabriel's words and reasoning was maddening. Sam wanted answers to his questions. He just wanted to know if it was natural or just another angelic shit he couldn't do anything about.

And Gabriel didn't make it easier by taking his sweet time to talk to him. Sam just hoped that Gabriel knew what was happening to him and that he would get it right if it was wrong, that he would never use him like that. It was a mess and he was running out of patience.

"So," Gabriel started but paused right afterwards as if out of words which was such an unusual thing to see because the archangel had always had so much to say, almost never out of another story or a joke to tell. "Huh, this is so strange. I, a master of words, Loki the Silvertongue they called me even, can't find the right words to explain what's going on between us." Gabriel laughed but there was no humour in it. Sam could tell. The archangel ran his fingers through his hair, smoothing them back from his forehead. He stroked his face over a couple of times as if he had been trying to push the words into his brain through his palms. "I don't know where to start." Gabriel croaked out from behind his palms as he was hiding his face in them. There was a silence between them again for a while and Sam couldn't take it anymore, just waiting for Gabriel to spit it out. He didn't know what was it like to be possessed by a supernatural being, being unable to control his body and having his mind trapped inside like a bird in a cage.

"Have you been controlling me? Was it you?" Sam asked, feeling an unexpected surge of fear running through his body, freezing the blood in his veins. This was the most important thing to know right now.

"NO! Of course not!" Gabriel exclaimed in disbelief, his eyes widening in shock and Sam could see a bit of hurt in them. It was true and Sam could feel it within himself. And it was a strange feeling, almost painful as if not trusting the former trickster was something he shouldn't even think of for a second. "Sam?! Fuck!" Gabriel cursed, breathing deeply, obviously searching for the right words to say but not finding them anywhere in the room as his eyes were roaming around the place, and then finally stopping at Sam's. "I would never do that. I might have been a trickster and Loki and whatever shit I've created over the years out of Heaven, but I would never control another being's mind, even if I could, which I can't right now, I would never do that. You have to trust me on this, Sam. Seriously, this is not what I do, never did. I played pranks on others, created projections to punish assholes but never through mind-control. It isn't in my nature. I just can't remove the archangel part off of myself. Sam?! You've gotta believe me." Gabriel said, pleading with earnestness in his eyes.

They were looking into each other's eyes, searching for answers. Sam sought the truth from Gabriel and it wasn't just a gut feeling that he believed that the archangel was telling the truth. It was something within himself that just convinced him of Gabriel meaning it, and Sam was so relieved he didn't realize for a moment that he stayed silent just too long, letting the other man wait for his verdict.

"Sam?" Gabriel said, cutting the silence and it shook Sam out of his reverie.

"Yes, yeah, I believe you, though I'm not sure how I know." Sam said, a frown appeared between his eyebrows as he was deep in thought, trying to determine the source of this certainty. Then he looked back into Gabriel's eyes. "What the fuck is going on with us, Gabriel? This is... I don't know what it is. Does it have something to do with you appearing in my room out of the blue? And those dreams. Oh my fucking god-"

"Sam, don't drag my Father into this." Gabriel warned jokingly but when Sam didn't react the way he should have, the archangel sobered immediately and continued, "Well, the dreams are a part of it. Sam, I will explain, don't worry about it, but please, be open to anything, think about what I'm about to tell you. Take your time, just promise me you'll think it through. Could you do that for me?" Gabriel asked and there it was again, that plea in his voice, almost begging Sam to give him a chance for whatever. Sam still didn't know what it was but he just felt that Gabriel truly meant it. It wasn't a trick or another cruel joke in his to-do list. Sam could feel the honesty in his voice and eyes and generally in his demeanour. Gabriel fidgeted nervously in his chair, curling his fingers into fists and unfolding them again, pressing his palms flat on the table, leaving sweaty spots underneath. Sam could see that Gabriel reacted the same as an ordinary, and sincere but nervous, human would in his situation.

"Okay. Alright. I can promise that. So, talk to me. Tell me everything." Sam folded his palms into each other and put them on the table, leaning forward a bit so that he could see into Gabriel's eyes and hear every word he would say clearly.

"So," Gabriel paused but determinedly continued, "So this thing between us," he gestured between them, not looking at Sam, instead, his eyes were focused on Sam's hands. "it's not my doing. It was as unexpected for me as was for you. I didn't know what it was until I realized the dreams were connected to it. That those dreams weren't just dreams but they were real, in our hearts." Gabriel pressed his palm onto his chest as if to emphasize the fact of what he was saying.

"Now I know that and I can tell you honestly that they were real from my side and I was really fucking scared that I did push you into it because my powers are coming back to me, slowly, but they are there, a very small part of them anyway." Gabriel paused for a moment to take a deep breath, his eyes darting here and there as if looking for other things to say. It was a mess, disjointed, making not much sense to Sam and he really tried to take everything in for he could mull it over later in peace with no distractions. And Gabriel was still one of them.

"Go on." Sam said without any emotion, at least he tried not to sound accusingly. It seemed that it helped Gabriel to collect his thoughts as he looked up into Sam's eyes and there was hope in there, radiating from him in waves. Sam could feel it, everything, as if he was somehow connected to him. He blinked slowly, closing his eyes for a longer moment than usual and when he opened them again, Gabriel was looking out of the window, still playing with his fingers, tapping on the table in a nervous tick.

"And I'm fucking sorry but I still can't control them and I was afraid that I unintentionally pushed you into this bond between us. But it was just there, one day I just felt it there, sitting and waiting to flourish into a stronger connection. And it should be impossible because you were Lucifer's vessel once." Gabriel winced, looking at Sam as if he wanted to make sure he didn't elicit some old pain within Sam, but Sam shook his head slightly and the archangel understood it was okay to go on. Although it was weird that Gabriel had mentioned this bit when he was talking about a bond.

"You know, when a human is made to be a vessel for an archangel, there is no chance to be a vessel for another. And with souls it's the same. Angels are different, they are lesser angelic beings so they can ask you and take your body and soul, bond with you even, without killing you in the process. But archangels are too powerful to be able to switch like that. So, though the signs of something between us have been there for a while I just ignored them. I didn't think... I didn't believe it possible. But it's just there. It was weak at first, barely visible. But now, I don't know what's changed but it's getting stronger and I just can't control it anymore, and you-" Gabriel stopped abruptly as if deciding if he should tell Sam.

"Gabriel, you promised to tell me everything. Just spit it out already." Sam said and he didn't want to sound so angry and exasperated but he couldn't help himself. Gabriel was telling him that there was something between them, a bond or whatever, and it was controlling them, and even the archangel couldn't stop it, which was very much disconcerting. Such a powerful being and not having enough strength to overcome it.

"Okay, sorry. I just... Okay." Gabriel sighed loudly, rubbing his eyes and Sam watched him intently so he could see that there was something really wrong with the archangel, something very vulnerable in his face and was he crying? Sam had got a strange urge to take Gabriel's hands into his and stroke them with his thumbs which he had always done when trying to calm someone down, usually witnesses on hunts. But he didn't do it, he couldn't cloud his mind by putting his empathy into this. Sam needed to be straightforward and in control of his emotions, though it showed to be quite difficult to manage in Gabriel's presence. There was just something pulling him towards the other man and it was getting stronger.

_The bond._

"Well, it's my stupid grace and your soul, they're just connected somehow, I don't really know how, trust me. It shouldn't be possible. And if we don't learn how to control the connection it can drain you so much that it could kill you one day. As I said, I'm not strong enough. I'm such a weak sonofabitch and I can't control it on my own. Even now, my grace is just batshit crazy about your soul and is screaming inside of me to get more, to push into you. I think you humans would say it's like a drug." Gabriel was talking and talking as if a dam broken up inside of him and he couldn't stop uttering everything out of himself anymore. "And Sam, it isn't my fault. I don't know what my Dad did to us but we're in this together and if we wanna get a grip on it, we've gotta do it together. I can't do it on my own and honestly, I don't even want to." Gabriel was silent after the last words and there was something running down from the corner of his left eye, a teardrop and another right after the first, blending together and running over Gabriel's cheek and falling down from his chin. It was obvious that Gabriel didn't know about it as he was staring out of the window at nothing in particular, his hands curled into fists, his knuckles whitened in the force of it.

Gabriel stroked his face over a few times but then stopped suddenly as if realizing that his eyes were producing salty water without him even knowing. He looked at his palms in surprise and then he gazed up into Sam's eyes, holding the gaze intently like a life thread. Sam was so confused, also angry and slightly disappointed, but more like confused and also... relieved somehow. And now he understood what it was inside of him, this longing for Gabriel within his chest, his closeness and touch and everything _him_.

At first, Sam thought that Gabriel had been playing with him, some kind of a cruel trick again or a messed-up revenge for him dying in the Elysium Fields Hotel, or some similar shit, but then he felt that Gabriel genuinely had been telling him the truth. Sam would have laughed if it had been funny which it wasn't in the slightest.

Again, this bullshit with angels and archangels. When he had got rid of one particular slimy archangel and the worst being he had ever met and had an unpleasant chance to feel him, he had just had to run into another idiot, Gadreel - though it had been Dean's fault this time, well, better not dwell on it - and now this. Would it ever stop? He wasn't just a meatsuit?! He was a human being with a right to live his goddamned life in peace without the supernatural shit messing with him for a fucking moment.

His mind was racing. Sam just didn't understand why him and why Gabriel. The archangel had been dead for almost six years. Besides, it had been okay since his appearing in Sam's bed those three months ago, and now they just couldn't be in each other's presence without one wanting to molest the other. Well, as Gabriel had already said, the link had been getting stronger by a second.

Sam didn't know what to do, what he wanted to do. It was too much at once and then there was Gabriel, sitting in the other chair, trembling as if in shock or whatever it was archangels went through upon realization that they could cry. Although Gabriel had cried before, it had been caused by physical pain. These were emotions and apparently, Gabriel was still human enough to go through it as one.

The hunter wanted to run out of the room and away from Gabriel. Sam was in the desperate need of fresh air, he wanted to feel the cold wind attacking his cheeks and cooling his mind, but when he looked at Gabriel, almost on the verge of a panic attack, Sam just couldn't leave him like that. And that right there was exactly the thing he had tried to avoid his whole life since Ruby - getting attached like that to another being. In this case, Sam didn't even know if it got better from the last time since Gabriel wasn't human, again.

Sam recalled that moment when Gabriel had made him promise to think it through and take some time to decide what would happen next.  But deep inside of himself, he already knew that. If Sam trusted what Gabriel had said to him about his grace being connected to his soul and this link being out of his control, and the hunter knew he believed the archangel being honest about it, it had already been decided for him before their chat. Again, they had decided for him, though this time Sam didn't feel such huge resentment towards whoever had done it - probably Chuck, who else - because this was somehow good for a change.

Sam felt good and he hadn't felt like this in years, if ever. And even though this bond between them was too strong and wild and out of control - especially when having sex - Sam didn't want to give it up because he felt content with Gabriel, happy and finally living. The archangel knew everything about him and still stayed, and apparently wanted this thing between them as well. Whatever it meant, Sam just felt how right it was, a bit exhausting and dangerous, but if Gabriel was right, it could get better, they could get better. And maybe, just maybe, they would develop deeper feelings for each other without Chuck sticking his nose into it - again.

_What a douche._ But Sam still smiled, already having made his decision.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers!
> 
> Chapter 25 is here for you! Hope you'll like it. 
> 
> Also, don't be a stranger and tell me what you think :). I appreciate your opinion.
> 
> Thank you for still reading this. Honestly, I didn't expect so many people reading it and giving me kudos and writing comments.

# Chapter 25

Gabriel hadn't prayed often after he had run from Heaven. Why would he? He wanted to forget the place and everyone in it because they had just brought him pain and sorrow, feelings he shouldn't have gone through as a powerful archangel. Gabriel had been the Messenger of God, the archangel of justice and punisher of all wrongs his Father had wished to see through to the end. God had always sent him because Gabriel had been so detached or more like understood the reason why all those people had deserved the punishment.

This time Gabriel felt too much and thus prayed to his Father silently to help him, to overcome all these fears of coming rejection. Damn all those insecurities. Yes, he was frightened that Sam would leave him, or worse, hate him for not telling him the truth, but Gabriel had been scared of those feelings, of everything really back then. This human life had been threatening everything he had known since his awakening by his Father at the beginning of his existence. It was such a strange and unfamiliar thing to go through that he just hadn't allowed himself to think about it. He had been an archangel and then the infamous Trickster, whom everyone among creatures with powers knew about. And it had been good because Gabriel didn't want them to think that they could get close to him, or at least close enough to know him better. He had wanted to be detached again, just not feel anything so he wouldn't have to go through the pain like before.

And then his damned grace started to long for another piece of light, not an angel or another strong god or demi-god. His grace just decided to go for a human's soul, and what could he do to prevent it? Oh, Gabriel could try to dampen its pull to the soul but eventually, he couldn't stop it. And when Sam's kind personality and sexy body were added into the mix, the archangel had been lost in the power of his grace's strong bond towards Sam's soul. And then Gabriel had got his powers back a bit more, he could see more and more from Sam's soul. The bright light pouring from him, leaving Sam unaware of what was happening between them. And Gabriel couldn't control it and deep down he didn't even want to anymore.

Those fears and anxieties had been keeping him silent and then the bond had got stronger, even more so when they had sex - mind-blowing sex - and had burst this bubble in which Gabriel had been willing to live till one of them died or left, just being content. And the archangel had anticipated a lot of questions from Sam but the one the hunter had finally asked took all the air from his lungs.

Had he been controlling Sam? Had he? At first, Gabriel just wanted to tell Sam that yes, he had been controlling him and be done with it. Sooner or later this would have happened and it was better for him to live through it now then later when the bond would get even stronger and it would be even more difficult to severe, or impossible.

But his mouth, and apparently his mind as well, had thought better of it and Gabriel had said a very loud _no_ right into Sam's face, his eyes surely betraying him and showing Sam how vulnerable he had been. Oh and Gabriel had expected Sam to laugh into his face and demand some more answers, or start yelling at him for controlling him anyway, that Gabriel had betrayed his trust and every other nasty thing he had deserved to hear, but Sam had done nothing of the sorts. The hunter had believed him telling the truth, saying that he had somehow known, felt it. After such an admission, Gabriel had felt his grace blooming in Sam's words, growing within him and longing for connection but he had quickly pushed it down, suppressing it with all his will he had still possessed.

And after more explaining and mumbling shit he couldn't even remember, his grace still edging on the surface, filling him up with power he shouldn't have had anymore. And on top of that his human reactions were still trying to show their head out of the confines of his body. Gabriel felt nervous and then panicky over the tears sliding down his cheeks - which he had never experienced just because of the emotional whiplash in his head and body.

And then after some time, Gabriel felt a soft touch on his hand, pulling him out of the panic and disorientation. Sam's long, tentative fingers were stroking his hands, rubbing soothing circles into his skin as he watched Gabriel coming back to him, calming his heart beat and pacifying his jumbled thoughts in his brain. Sam could ground him just with one simple, innocent touch and Gabriel should be even more scared then before how much power Sam had over him now, though the hunter didn't know about it - yet.

"Gabriel," Sam said softly, carefully placing his hands over Gabriel's, holding them still. The warmth from Sam's body seeping through his skin into his bloodstream and into his grace which was, of course, overjoyed with the presence of Sam's soul, and it was just a peck, nothing more. Oh, he was so done, "When you said I should think about it before I decide what I want, it seems to me you didn't think about yourself at all. It's affecting you too and from what you just told me, you don't wanna give it up. You want this connection between us, am I right?" Sam asked, looking into Gabriel's eyes as if he could see the truth in them, as if he could read Gabriel's mind, though it wasn't impossible with the bond.

"Gabriel, talk to me. Do you want it or not?" Sam asked him again, determined to get the answer out of him.

"Yes, yes! Dammit, Sam. Why are you trying to complicate things? I don't matter in this equation. It's up to you, got it?" Gabriel said harshly, not meaning it but it was important Sam understood what was at stake. It was about his soul, about his being and it would tie him to Gabriel for eternity. Humans couldn't even imagine such a thing, since their lives were limited and their lifespan short compared to an angel's. Besides, Gabriel was ancient with so many personality faults, having done so many mistakes he would be ashamed of if he ever remembered them all. Sam didn't understand that it wasn't just about some sweaty sex and exchanging bodily fluids between each other, it was something more, something powerful and impossible, though their situation said otherwise.

"Oh my G-. Gabriel, what the fuck are you talking about?! Of course, you matter, it's also you, who is affected by it and you'd have to live with it. And-," Sam paused suddenly, contemplating mentally his next words. "You don't get it, do you? I- I want to be with you." Sam said quietly, almost whispering the words as if they were sacred, holding everything Sam had inside of them. The hunter looked away, out of the window, swallowing hard as if he was trying to hold himself together, not willing to show his inner emotional turmoil, though Gabriel could feel it in small doses.

Those six words just hit Gabriel hard and deep. His grace rejoiced in this, almost jumping out of his body into the world how happy and content it was after his brain took the meaning of those words in, but Gabriel's reason still held the reins tightly in its imaginative fists.

His thoughts were racing in his head, trying to come up with some clever speech how dangerous it was for Sam and that he could die because-, because Gabriel was an archangel, or at least would be soon enough, and his power could consume his soul. The bond should prevent it, theoretically. But Gabriel had never done this before, no archangel had gone through such a thing. And even though he wanted this, oh, he wanted this with everything he was, he just couldn't let Sam to decide upon his current feelings, or some mutual attraction or whatever between them was at this moment. His essence, the light inside his body, his soul wanted it and they were somehow compatible - Gabriel still didn't know why them and how it had happened - but it's still something Sam would have to live with forever. No turning back, or changing his mind after some time.

"Sam, you don't understand-" Gabriel tried to reason with Sam, explain him the consequences of his decision and that the bond was still possible to severe, with difficulties but there was still a chance to get out of it. It wasn't finished yet.

"Stop it!" Sam growled at him with anger in his voice, losing his temper for the first time entirely because of Gabriel. The archangel shut his mouth, widening his eyes in surprise as he didn't expect it from Sam, who had been so calm and collected on the surface, hiding his feelings and emotions too well lately.

"Don't twist it into me not understanding you. I know damn well what you meant. You are an archangel and I know the bond would be probably forever. I'm not dump, you know. I'm human but not stupid. We're talking about my soul and your grace, the light giving us the purpose, the most important essence of our lives. it's yesterday's news. I've met God, remember? I watched him almost die, the only light - his light - was in us, the power of human souls. And it's also within you, though more powerful. I just don't understand why you're trying to sabotage this, telling me I should decide for both of us, and when I tell you I want it, you just keep trying to change my mind with some bullshit so that I'd refuse it eventually. Why are you doing this? Tell me, honestly. What's the point?" Sam finished heatedly, his hands shifting from Gabriel's palms when he had gestured wildly in the air, frustrated by Gabriel's words.

Yes, he was stupid to think that Sam didn't understand. Sam was the clever one. Too smart for his own good sometimes. But this time he was right. Gabriel was scared. He wanted this, his grace wanted this and deep down he knew that he was falling for Sam hard - or more like already fallen for him - and he didn't even need his grace to go crazy for Sam's soul. Gabriel just knew that Sam was everything he could wish for. This was one part of him pushing him forwards to tell Sam about his desires and wishes. But the other part, the part which had been hurt for too many times in his long life, the vulnerable part that Gabriel refused to admit to, was still worming its way into his brain and creating doubts there. What if Sam would hate him? What if Sam would stop wanting this bond between them? An already settled and fully created bond couldn't be severed or destroyed without them diminish into nothingness. So he thought, at least. That was how it had worked. Gabriel was conflicted and that was why he thought it was a good idea to let Sam make the decision for them both.

Sam was still waiting for him to respond but obviously the hunter had waited for too long already that morning that he didn't want to wait any longer.

"You know. I don't know what to think about this. If you were someone else, someone like Lucifer or some other asshole so full of himself that they didn't care about other people, I would say you just want my soul so you could get your powers back." Sam paused and Gabriel's eyes widened in horror. He was about to defend himself, though he was stopped by Sam's fingers pressed on his lips, shutting him up. "Let me finish." Sam whispered softly, surely seeing Gabriel's reaction to his words. " However, I know that it's something else. You're scared I'd make you more vulnerable or that I'd leave you or some other crazy shit. But Gabriel, you're forgetting that we're in this together. I'm also frightened what's gonna happen after. But, I wanna be with you. Are you listening to what I'm saying? I _want_ to _be_ with _you_! You're an annoying idiot, driving me crazy with your antics but I just can't imagine my life without it anymore, without you in it. I like you with your annoying flirting and pranking, with your joking about my hair and height, with all your faults and history before this. I just-," Sam paused for just a few seconds, probably trying to find the right words, but Gabriel sure as hell didn't expect what was coming.

"I just..." Sam looked into Gabriel's eyes softly but with intensity and determination the hunter had always possessed within himself, once more grabbing Gabriel's hands strongly which the archangel still had laid on the table, clenching them with uncertainty and anticipation. "I just. I love you." Sam breathed out in the end, gazing into Gabriel's eyes hopefully. It was like everything around them shrunken into a tunnel and Gabriel's sight blurred on the edges, his jaw gone slack, slowly falling open in shock.

There was silence for a while, neither of them willing to be the first and disturb the moment between them. Their eyes locked, not looking anywhere just at each other. Gabriel's blood was raging within his veins, inside his body, flooding it with feelings and sensations he had never experienced before but knew instantly what it meant.

Gabriel didn't know for how long they had been staring into each other's eyes when he felt Sam's palms retreating their former position on his and Gabriel could see something not good appearing on Sam's face. Was it hurt and disappointment? Oh dear Lord-

"Sam-," Gabriel caught Sam's right hand, squeezing him tightly as if in reassurance and then he just bolted out of the chair, pushing it so strongly that it fell onto the floor, and he threw himself onto Sam, his lips crashing Sam's lips, kissing him hard, demanding and passionate. Sam curled his fingers in his shirt, pulling Gabriel closer towards him, and then sliding them up into Gabriel's hair, tugging at them which earned him a loud moan from Gabriel.

Gabriel knew that they had to stop so that the bond wouldn't drain Sam of his energy again as last two times, but he could at least kiss him, taste Sam's mouth and touch his body all over. Sam said he loved him, and it was such an overwhelming thing to hear that just from those couple of words he could feel his grace powering up like a battery. Later, he would think about it and try to find out the cause of it, this change within himself and the purpose of this bond between them, how connected it was to his strengthening grace, but now, now he wanted to fuck Sam's mouth with his tongue for as long as possible till their bond would demand more than Sam could take. And Gabriel was _not_ going to risk it again. Not now anyway.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> I'm giving you another chapter today, as promised. 
> 
> I'm so glad that I finished this some time ago and now I've got just this task to upload the rest on time, because I happened to find myself in a really bad state of mind to write anything at this moment. I'm definitely trying, don't get me wrong. But some stuff happened in my life and I lost a bit of the motivation I had from before. I truly hope that I get it together through the holidays because I really want to get everything done, no matter what.
> 
> Anyway, that was a bit too much even for me (imagine Dean and him sharing his feelings, that's how I feel now :D). I hope you enjoy this chapter as well as the previous ones. Hope you come back for the rest. Thank you for any support you might send my way!

# Chapter 26

Sam didn't understand the mechanics of this bond completely, or whatever it was between Gabriel and him. He didn't know where it had come from or from what it had originated. Had it been there before his feelings towards Gabriel started to form or had his soul been destined to be a part of Gabriel's grace? In his life and his line of work nothing had been a certainty, he had to question everything so that nothing would surprise him - too much. Of course, Sam wasn't sure of his feelings having been the catalyst of the bond developing between them and there was no way how to find out, since God was who knew where and as usual, he didn't want to give them any clues.

Sam was pissed at him, not telling him that he had been alive all that time and that Dean could be somewhere out there, probably disappointed in Sam forgetting him so easily. Though it wasn't true, Sam couldn't shake off this feeling of betrayal and that he left his brother on his own. And then there was Cas, who had just disappeared for more than three months, leaving him in the bunker all alone with suicidal thoughts in his brain. Well, Sam just hoped that Cas had had a good reason for that because the promise he had given to Dean should have meant everything to him. Sam thought that there had been something more between those two, the profound bond as Cas had once told them, though the younger hunter wasn't sure what it had meant for an angel. Was it something like the bond between Gabriel and him?

Sam and Gabriel were back on the case ahead of them, putting the discussion on hold for the time being. There were more pressing things to deal with, and even though their bond was important in terms of their life together and connecting them for eternity, finding Cas would solve a lot of things at once and that somehow won over his personal matters. What a surprise. Although they discussed their relationship more, Gabriel telling Sam everything he could think of about this connection between them, it was obvious that the archangel didn't know how it worked in detail. But Sam had gone through so much weird shit that he had got used to it long time ago. Not to this particular thing since it had happened to him for the first time, but sometimes it was best to let it go for a while and concentrate on something else - finding Cas, for instance.

They agreed that there wasn't going to be any sexy times between them for the time being, except some kissing and making out sessions. Not that Sam minded since his life was at stake, but he felt deep within himself that he wanted Gabriel entirely for himself, body and grace. Whatever it meant in their situation. He wanted to explore the bond, its boundaries and how it influenced his subconscious, intruding his dreams that way and what it had been doing to Gabriel that the archangel was so scared of it. Sam was also scared shitless, of course he was. The idea of being bound to an archangel's grace forever? Mind-blowing was an understatement. And then Sam's mouth just opened and he blurted _the words_ out, that he loved Gabriel. He meant it from all of his heart, worried that it was too much for the archangel since he was so determined to get out of it, though it was so obvious that deep down Gabriel wanted to stay with Sam. The hunter could feel it somehow, still unable to find out the source of this certainty within him. Well, there was a thing which could in some way help him to know things about Gabriel - the bond. Although if Gabriel wanted out of it, just bail it and run away, he could easily do that and Sam wouldn't be able to stop him.

***

It was afternoon already, the day slipped away around them too quickly as if someone moved the time forwards forcefully. It was already dark outside, the clouds on the sky sheltering them from the sunrays.

The last location of the man, who could be their lost angel, was marked on their map of the town with some other notes scribbled on it as well. It was Sam's handwriting, not as graceful as Gabriel's. Though neither of them mentioned it, Gabriel sometimes wrote his notes in Enochian, not realizing the fact that Sam didn't understand all of it. And still, Sam didn't mind at all because the language was the part of the archangel, his personality, his life before the Trickster - his true self.

Sam smiled upon the realization that Gabriel had been more and more himself with Sam than before, and the hunter could see more glimpses of what he was really like underneath all that pretence.

Gabriel was sitting on his bed, reading something while stroking slowly his dog behind the pet's ears, the animal contentedly sleeping at his side. This domesticity they had been living in Sam enjoyed the most. They could be in the same room for the whole day, doing whatever they liked, each their own thing, and it felt good and so right that Sam couldn't even regret the words he had uttered to Gabriel, and the archangel didn't have to reciprocate. This was more than Sam could have imagined having in his life before when he struggled to feel anything more than physical attraction to anyone else after Jess.

Sam just had to smile at the image he was a witness to. Him reading more about the case on the Internet discussions, sitting in the chair at the table, looking at Gabriel, his hair falling into his face as he was bent over the notes, focused on the case, his fingers flipping through it as he read the pages quietly. Sam realized that he didn't want to be with anyone else, ever. This was it for him and the bond was just a means to seal it irrecoverably. Even if it was possible, which wasn't according to Gabriel, Sam would never allow it to perish, not anymore.

Sam averted his gaze back on the screen that illuminated his face, not being aware of Gabriel looking up from the notes and watching the hunter for a while, his eyes tracing the features of Sam's face, his core melting upon the image before him. The strong feelings he held for Sam were in his eyes, visible and clear as a sunny day.

***

"Ready to go?" Sam called from the bathroom as he just finished shaving, applying some aftershave cream and looking at his reflection in the mirror. He saw Gabriel approaching him slowly, a smirk on his face but Sam could sense the apprehension the archangel was feeling through the bond. Gabriel was, again, trying to hide how nervous he has been the whole day behind this fake persona of his. And Sam wished with his whole heart that Gabriel would stop this pretence and just be himself with everything, with his fears and joys and ideas, and share them all with Sam.

"Yeah." Gabriel replied seductively, winking at Sam mischievously as if Sam didn't know that he wanted to seduce him. Gabriel enveloped his waist from his side and was nuzzling against Sam's arm with his head like a cat. It made Sam smile and he started caressing Gabriel gently, running his fingers through his soft longish hair. It was such a nice moment, almost domestic, that Sam couldn't believe it was happening right now, that it wasn't just a dream his stupid brain created to torture him a bit more.

"Gabriel," Sam whispered and cupped Gabriel's face, lifting his chin so that they would look into each other's eyes, "we've gotta go find Cas. And don't worry, we'll find him and it's gonna be alright." Sam said and smoothed some strayed strands of Gabriel's hair back from his forehead.

"Don't be stupid, Sam, I ain't worried." Gabriel snorted as he averted his eyes and untangled himself from Sam's body, heading to the bedroom. He took his notes, throwing them carelessly into the bag. "I'm an archangel and I can heal fast. And I'm getting my powers back." Gabriel finished and looked back to Sam over his shoulder, smirking at him, teasing him to react to him thinking recklessly again.

"Gabe, I trust your abilities. Don't think I don't, but sometimes it's better to be cautious than sorry, you know that." Sam said with a serious tone in his voice but already knew that Gabriel expected those words from him. And it should have been understandable since he had just professed his love towards the archangel and they had this bond almost completely formed between them. It just took some practice to control it but it would happen sooner or later and Sam would prefer it happen very soon. If they hadn't had a case ahead of them and a possibility to find Cas, he would have suggested some more practicing with Gabriel. But finding Cas could mean finding also Dean or at least getting some answers about him.

Gabriel smirked again and they somehow knew what the other wanted to say or felt at that moment, so words were unnecessary and silence enveloped them both for a while. Gabriel rummaged through his bag, sorting them out, surely, and Sam was just waiting at the door with his own bag with various weapons and tools they could need. Gabriel's dog was sitting on the bed, looking at his master as if he was waiting for orders from him. When Gabriel finally got everything ready - typical for him to say "I'm ready" and the opposite was true - he straightened and looked at the dog, petting him on the head and rubbing him behind his ears.

"Be a good boy and don't piss onto Sam's bed. We'll be back soon." Gabriel said and smiled subtly at the dog which earned him a loud bark from the pet and then he curled into himself and fell asleep.

"Wow, thanks, Gabe. Why is he sleeping on my bed anyway? It's your dog!" Sam said, rolling his eyes in faked exasperation as he was grinning at the pair. And he liked them both and couldn't imagine his life without them anymore. Gabriel picked up his bag from the floor and went straight to the door, not even stopping to look at Sam, kiss him or smile at him. But Sam could feel and even see in Gabriel's face he liked these playful moments between them as well.

"Come on, Sam. We have one strayed angel to save." Gabriel said as he walked out of the hotel room and headed to their car. Sam right behind him, almost running to catch up with Gabriel's quick strides, feeling happy at heart in spite of the circumstances they were going to face - together.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I'm here again with an update. I hope you'll stick around til the end :).
> 
> Your support is very appreciated!
> 
> Enjoy!

# Chapter 27

"Sam?" Gabriel started, glancing at the cottage, its windows broken and shards of the glass were scattered around the wooden walls outside. Its wooden doors were in tatters but it was so dark inside that they couldn't see a thing in there from such a distance. The roof, or at least the half of it, was hanging on a thread of its strong will or some sort of power holding it together. Gabriel couldn't imagine someone would live in there voluntarily, especially not an angel. But the truth was that his standards of living were very much different from the others', besides, Castiel and him hadn't met for years. Who knew where the angel lived and how. So maybe, Castiel preferred to live in such a ramshackle ruin that the cottage they were currently staring at was.

Sam was holding the wheel strongly, gazing at the state of the place where Castiel should be staying. The hunter tightened his grip on the wheel even more, if it was even possible, his knuckles whitening. It seemed that his mind was too preoccupied to answer Gabriel. Maybe Sam had already been thinking what to do Castiel right after he would meet him.

"Sam?!" Gabriel tried louder this time to get Sam out of his thoughts and refocus his attention on himself. A silent "hmm" had been the only response Gabriel had got from the hunter but then Sam turned his head, facing Gabriel, his eyes full of hope and anxiety. The archangel could feel it seeping of him in waves and he so wanted to reassure him it was going to be okay. They would find Castiel and then also Dean. But Gabriel knew that Sam didn't need false reassurances and half truths. So he kept quiet and was looking back into Sam's eyes, trying to give him some strength through their developing bond. This didn't stop him from asking.

"Are you sure, we're at the right place? I mean, I ain't trying to question your judgement but this looks pretty abandoned to me. I'm sure you're thinking the same thing." Gabriel gestured animatedly at the cottage through the windshield of their car. Sam turned his head back, looking in front of himself, observing the wooden house.

"Yes, this is it. I'm sure of it. And honestly," Sam paused and averted his gaze to Gabriel again, "exactly such houses hide surprises you can't even imagine." He said jokingly but there was caution and apprehension in his tone. "According to witnesses, the man matching the description of Cas has been lastly seen here, or at least nearby. It's the only place where he could be hiding. I'd say it's his hideout." Sam finished resolutely, convinced that he was right about this, and Gabriel understood that, it was his gut feeling and, truth be told, everything they had got pointed right at this place.

Gabriel tried to concentrate on the cottage, using his powers a little in case he could sense something supernatural or a trap set in the house. There were still people and monsters who held grudges towards the Winchester brothers and Gabriel didn't want to risk it, now, when something good had happened in his long life - Sam.

"I'm sure he's there. You trust me?" Sam asked Gabriel with genuine longing to be trusted. Gabriel could hear the need of it in his voice and through the link of their bond. There was a longer pause between them then necessary so Sam raised his eyebrows and made those killing puppy-dog eyes on Gabriel, and the archangel couldn't resist that, he just couldn't. Gabriel smiled at Sam's thinking he would ever not trust him. As if he would contradicting his research. Though he had questions and no answers of why here, all this time? Without reaching out to Sam back? Castiel had made a promise.

"Awww, Sammich, of course, I trust you." Gabriel smirked playfully which earned him a roll of eyes from Sam as he pulled the key from ignition and opened the driver's door. He got out of the car and went to the truck, opening it and started rummaging in it for stuff they could need later.

Gabriel had stayed inside for a little longer, again concentrating on the house, trying to look for possible dangerous covering their treacherous heads from their eyes. And then he felt it, some power was reaching out for his grace. Gabriel started for a second but then he sensed the familiarity of the power he felt. He knew it, deep down he knew this particular light. And it was an angel's light. Though it was a good thing he had sensed it, that meant they were right about Castiel being there, the angel could sense him too and they still didn't know in which state they would find him. There were so many possibilities swarming Gabriel's mind and he needed to prepare for every one of them so that Sam would be save the whole time.

Gabriel was pulled out of his haze by three knocks on the window and he quickly looked up at Sam, who was studying him, surely trying to get through his defences and bond and find out what he was thinking about. Gabriel smiled lightly, the corners of his mouth rising into a genuine grin. He was intrigued by Sam's ability to learn and use the bond between them for his advantage. Those psychic skills he had once had were quite useful now for Sam's better understanding of how the connection between his soul and Gabriel's grace worked.

Gabriel winked at Sam and it was a cue for Sam to step back from the door. The archangel got out of the car, smoothed the creases on his clothes as if he was going for a date and not into a possible fight with his little brother. He could feel Sam eying him curiously, one eyebrow raised in question.

"What? Like what you see?" Gabriel flirted and laughed at Sam's blush forming on his cheeks, following with a roll of his eyes. "I know, Samshine, too much fabric ruining your view, right?" Gabriel teased, wiggling with his eyebrows at Sam mischievously, using this distraction to hide how nervous he was feeling. But Sam understood and just pulled him close and kissed him hard with all his energy he had within himself, making him a bit dazed by the loving gesture. If Gabriel had watched them from afar, as a spectator in a cinema, he would have gagged over this cheesy display of affection. But as he was a receiver of the sweet and hot as fuck kiss, he wasn't going to complain about it.

And no, they weren't going to die! Still, the kiss and no hesitation about it from Sam had warmed up his body and filled his grace a bit with power which could be quite useful, since they didn't have a clue what to expect in there. Gabriel couldn't determine if Castiel was alright, hurt or controlled. Nothing. As if something was shielding the angel from the outer world. And Castiel shouldn't have enough skill to do that. Yet, it was definitely there. Something like a wall or blanket sheltering whoever or whatever was in the cottage and in its surroundings.

Sam must have come to the same conclusion because he ducked a bit into the right fighter's posture, releasing the safety guard on his gun. The hunter gestured Gabriel to cover his back as he opened the destroyed door slowly. The door hinges screamed how unkept and old they were. But Gabriel could feel the presence in there somewhere, maybe in the attic or the basement? Gabriel hated basements which was why Sam motioned to go separate ways, heading towards the basement door himself. Gabriel shivered but decided to believe in Sam's hunter senses and skills to care of himself. Gabriel was the one who usually got stabbed or thrown around the rooms by pissed-off ghosts.

Gabriel went through every room - just two with the kitchen - finding nothing but some old utensils and empty cabinets. So he headed to the staircase leading to the attic. The staircase was so old, that even if he tried, every move had been followed by the creaking sounds. If someone was in the cottage, they now knew Gabriel was there, heading his way up.

There was nothing from Sam's end, surely going through everything in the basement. Gabriel couldn't sense anything going awry and thus knew Sam was alright. It was a good thing to have this certainty about the other man and it calmed his nerves a bit. Gabriel laid his hand on the cold, metal handle of the door leading to the attic, the door looked the same as the other doors in the house. It was old and seemed unused. Specks of dust were flying in the air, a couple of sunrays streaming through the cracks in the walls and windows illuminated them. Gabriel was super-aware of someone hiding behind the door, he could feel his grace reaching out for it. If that someone wasn't Castiel, then they had to be some other angel he had closely known and spent some time with them in Heaven.

Gabriel carefully opened the door, just a peek to see into the room. He could recognize a silhouette of a person lying on a mattress in the far corner. It was very dark in the room, the only window in there was covered with wooden boards so that no light could leak inside. Gabriel stepped inside, looking around the room, seeing nothing. So he took the flashlight out from his pocket and then-

_Bright, aching light - excruciating pain - loud and pulsating throbs in his head._

Everything happened in once as he was thrown outside of the wooden structure just a few inches behind the car. Everything screamed with pain in his body. Gabriel could feel several broken ribs and his right knee was dislocated, he could feel the swelling in his head and he panicked. He cried out in pain or for help, trying to heal the worst injuries threatening his life. Gabriel could hear someone running towards him, gravel hissing under their boots. It was Sam, leaning over him, calling him. There were pleads, prayers, kisses on his forehead and everywhere on his face. There were questions, touches over his injuries and sighs in relief.

"Gabriel? Are you alright?! Talk to me. What the fuck happened?" So many questions but Gabriel didn't have any answers. Now he could just thank to the bond he had with Sam for being able to heal almost everything expect some scratches for which he didn't need to deplete the rest of it.

"I'm fine. Don't worry." Gabriel groaned and rolled fully onto his back, blinking several times to clear his vision, hissing upon the stab of sunlight streaming through his eyes into his aching head. "What the fuck. Someone used the banishing sigil on me. Fuck. I'm lucky it still doesn't work on me fullforce. Shit!" Gabriel grumbled, sitting up with Sam's help, who was fussing around him as if he couldn't believe Gabriel had healed himself, cupping his face and running his fingers over it and through his hair.

"Sam, stop. Stop it!" Gabriel whined. "I'm fi-," Sam kissed him hard, holding him tightly and close to his body, replenishing his strength through their bond. Gabriel did let himself carried away for a few seconds but that he realized what Sam was doing and shoved him off of himself.

"Dammit, Sam, I'm fine! You don't have to do this. Help me stand up." Gabriel ordered as Sam took his arm and pull him up onto his feet.

"Okay, okay." Sam placated. "I didn't know you're so sensitive about this." Sam smirked but quickly sobered and added, "so, it wasn't Cas in there or what?" the hunter asked Gabriel, keeping an eye on the house, but there was nothing. As if nothing had happened just one moment ago.

"No, I think-" Gabriel paused for a second, focusing his gaze at the boarded window in the attic, but after a quick thought through the events, he continued, "I think it was Cas. I knew the grace and I would recognize him anywhere. I mean, I'd been dead for several years, I understand why he would feel a grudge against me but this is too much even for our situation." Gabriel wanted to keep throwing ideas at Sam but was interrupted by the very familiar voice.

"What is the purpose of your being here?" Gabriel's eyes widened in surprise but there was also fondness in there somewhere, deep down. Sam's whole body stiffened and a crease appeared on his forehead. The hunter clenched his jaw and fists strongly. Everything was so clear on his face that Gabriel didn't even need the bond to know what Sam was feeling at that moment. And then it hit him like a brick into the face.

"What?!" Gabriel rapped out, not understanding the composition of the question. _What were we doing here?!_ He stepped aside, out of the Sam's shadow, and saw the confusion and danger alerts in the angel's eyes and the familiar tilt of his head. Gabriel didn't realize he was doing it, but he also tilted his head, watching the angel, examining him with his powers. And then he understood.

"What the fuck happened to you, Castiel?" Gabriel blurted out, raising his eyebrows in shock.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Chapter 28 is here!
> 
> Only 5 chapters to go.
> 
> I just want to say one more thing. Some things are not explained completely here, especially the events around Cas' disappearance. And I would love to continue to write the second part focused on Cas and Dean and explain it there. We'll see how it goes, but in this one I want to focus solely on Sam and Gabe's relationship. I hope you won't be too disappointed.
> 
> Thank you for all you send my way :). I appreciate it.
> 
> Enjoy!

# Chapter 28

"Little bro, you idiot. What have you done." Sam heard Gabriel say as if from afar, his blood was rushing through his veins so fast and loud that he couldn't hear anything through the noise. Sam was angry, so angry that he hadn't even registered what the angels had been talking about. He just saw Gabriel shifting uncomfortably on one spot, feeling the urge of coming to Castiel inside of him through their bond. The light of his grace was leaking out of his body in small doses, trying to reach the angel and heal him from whatever was wrong with him, as if in reflex. But Sam also felt that the archangel was suppressing it, holding it in and controlling it. As if he was afraid of Castiel fleeing away from them. And Sam understood, somehow he knew why Gabriel hadn't reached out to his brother right away. Something wasn't right with Cas.

Sam turned around slowly, willing his mind and body to calm down. The hot and blinding anger subsided within Sam and Gabriel vividly relaxed. But it didn't mean that the hunter could forget about everything what the angel had put him through, leaving him to struggle with his issues and the loss of Dean all by himself. Sam still had his palms curled into fists, holding his weakening anger inside. There was always a reason why people, or anyone for that matter, did things. And Castiel might have had a reason for running away from him and never coming back. Sam wanted to believe there was such a thing, good enough a reason to leave him in his mourning alone. But it was hard. If Gabriel hadn't appeared in his room that day, he would have already been dead or worse.

When Sam finally looked up at the angel standing a few feet in front of them, he realized what Gabriel had been hinting at. Castiel looked so worn out, his clothes were dirty and torn in some places, which was so unusual for the angel since he had always cared for his attire, especially his trenchcoat. Not that Sam fully understood Cas' relationship towards the piece of clothing, but whatever. The worst thing was that Cas hadn't come to them directly, hadn't hugged them or anything what old friends, or brothers, would have done after seeing each other after such a long, long time.

"Who are you and who is Castiel?" the angel asked curiously but his fighting stance didn't ease up and that had brought alarming bells into Sam's head. Sam could feel Gabriel's eyes on him and his shock was spreading within the confines of their bond. It was disconcerting in a way that make his body rigged and unmoving. Gabriel shifted a little next to him, probably not knowing what to say or how to react. Sam knew that he had to say something but what to tell an angel who didn't know his own name and hadn't recognized his brother and his friend?

"It is your name. You're Castiel. My name's Sam, Sam Winchester." Sam pointed at himself, and then he glanced at Gabriel and said, "and this is Gabriel, he's your brother. Do you remember? Either of us?" the hunter raised his eyebrows in anticipation, hoping that Cas would remember, that he would recognize them, or at least Gabriel and his grace, since they were brothers, and there had to share some kind of brotherly feelings towards each other.

Castiel tilted his head as if trying to determine if Sam was telling him the truth, his eyes narrowed into slits in concentration. It was obvious that Cas had his powers back, or at least the most of it, smaller but it was there. However, if he had lost his memory of everything and everyone around him, even his family members, then, that could be a problem. Moreover, the angel knew how to banish other angels and who knew what else he could do. These things were probably just remnants of his habits from his life before everything had gone to shit.

"Fucking fantastic." Gabriel groaned loudly, flailing his hands in the air resignedly, "he doesn't remember me or you. Tell me, Sam, that you've got a plan." Gabriel whined, pleading Sam with his eyes to do something about the situation. Alright, Sam was empathetic one in the pair, but why was he always the one to deal with such issues despite the fact that Castiel was Gabriel's brother, not his.

"I don't understand. You're my brother?" Castiel inquired, watching Gabriel like a hawk its prey, "I can feel the power within you. The light. It's almost the same like mine." He smiled subtly that be them anyone else, they wouldn't notice the small lift of his lips in small recognition.

"And you-," Castiel paused, moving his eyes to Sam, staring at him intently, as he had always done, "Sam, and who are you to me?" the angel asked curiously, easing up a bit, maybe he felt something familiar towards both of them.

"I'm... I'm your friend. We've known each other for years. We've been through a lot together and I'm sure you can feel you know me." Sam placated, trying to put into the words as much honesty as he could master at that moment. Castiel was still standing quite a distance away from them, obviously contemplating his options, or trying to recall their faces from his past. There was silence for a very long time and the words Castiel said afterwards, almost give Sam a heart attack. Gabriel started at the sound of Cas' voice, still worrying what had happened to the angel.

"I don't know why, but I trust you. Although I don't remember you, I feel that I know you from before." Castiel frowned, being deep in thoughts once again, averting his eyes away from their forms and staring at the ground in front of him, venting his frustration on it silently. "Then, if you're my brother, Gabriel, why the spell didn't work on you? Are you protected?" Castiel asked innocently as if he genuinely didn't know and longed for more knowledge. But maybe it was a test. Sam just hoped that Gabriel would tell him the truth without stupid jokes and remarks. Because they needed to earn Cas' trust, not make him angry or confused, and this was the first step to get it.

"Er-r-r." Gabriel fidgeted a bit, nervously shifting his weight from one leg on the other. His palms pressed together tightly. Sam recognized how difficult it was for the other man to admit losing his powers and talk about it in front of his younger brother, someone, who had surely looked up to him, like Sam had looked up to Dean as a child. "I... I lost my powers, or the most of it." Gabriel uttered the words out quickly, not wishing to continue. Sam could feel that Gabriel desperately wanted to drop the topic for another time. It was embarrassing for him. _Oh, Gabe._ Sam's features eased up and he reached out for Gabriel's clamped hands, curling his palm around them, squeezing him tightly in reassurance. At that, Gabriel turned his head and gazed up into his eyes, watching him and then, upon seeing whatever he had seen in Sam's face, both his body and mind immediately relaxed.

"I see." Castiel said flatly. When Sam looked at the angel again, he could see something in his eyes, something he couldn't decide what it meant. "Then, you could help me. Come." his friend said as he turned around and headed back to the cottage. Sam was watching for a while until he was interrupted by Gabriel.

"Well, that was easy. Awkward but easy. We should probably go and see what Cassie's got for us." Gabriel said with a familiar lilt in his voice, again back in his usual attitude, tugging Sam along with him after Castiel.

Sam was still wary, since just a moment ago, Cas had attacked Gabriel and almost killed him, hadn't he got some of the power from their bond. It still felt so weird to imagine that the archangel would heal himself thanks to the energy generated by their closeness to each other. This bond was a miracle, at least for Sam, and he couldn't stop thinking about what they would be able to do with it later, when it would get even stronger. And because Sam really wanted to improve his skills in controlling it, there were surely many possibilities how this spiritual connection could be used. And yeah, he was thinking about sex. So sue him.

Anyway, Gabriel was holding his hand strongly, leading him inside of the cottage and Sam just let him, wondering what they were going to find in there. Cas had never been too aggressive, always looking for a better solution. He would never attack anyone without reason. Those reasons hadn't always been right in the larger scale of events, but usually the angel fought for the good in the world. So, whatever or whoever was there, Cas had to care for them very much.

The stairs groaned under their weight as they ascended to the door leading into the attic. The door was closed so Sam couldn't see inside and as in reflex he was about to take the flashlight out of his pocket, but Gabriel stopped him with his other hand, telling him silently to trust him. Gabriel must have known something and didn't think it important to tell Sam before they would step into the room from which the archangel had been thrown out just a half hour ago. Sam felt the urge to take out his gun from behind his belt. Just to be prepared for whatever was in there. This was exactly the way how Gabriel worked - going everywhere blindly, just for the bliss of excitement and rush of adrenaline he could feel only as a human. Sam could understand that, but sometimes  he hated it as well, especially now when Gabriel meant more for him than just an annoying freeloader.

Castiel opened the door and walked into the very dark room. Sam couldn't see anything, just features of furniture and there was a mattress in the further corner. There was no signs of Gabriel having been thrown through the wall outside. The angel must have restore the wall with his powers and that meant Castiel wasn't a broken man anymore, or at least he possessed quite a huge power within himself, maybe even more than Gabriel right now. Which was extraordinary to say the least.

Sam blinked several times to adjust to the sudden dark in the room, Gabriel was still holding his hand, never letting go, and they were standing in the middle, waiting for Castiel to tell them why he needed their help. Sam was worried that they had stepped into a trap, but Gabriel was so sure of his decision to follow his brother, and Sam knew the feeling. He had done the same thing many times.

Then his eyes registered a silhouette, lying on the mattress without motion. It was a man and the shape... it just... it reminded him... of someone. His eyes widened, a strong and fast shiver travelled through his body, his blood froze within his veins and everything in his mind screamed "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, it can't be, tell me it's real, that he's there and alive. Please, please, don't be a dream. Please." and in that chaos somewhere, he could hear a little voice telling him to breathe, inhale deeply and then exhale, and repeat. His heart was beating like crazy, his ribcage aching how the muscle went insane with feelings and excitement.

"Sam?! Breathe!" Sam heard someone say and then he took a lungful of air into his lungs, feeling pain but not particularly caring because he was there. Oh, he wasn't going to cry, nope, he wasn't! And just after that thought he could feel something watery sliding down his cheek and falling over the edge of his jaw. Gabriel squeezed his palm strongly, to bring him out of his head and internal panic attack.

"Is he alive?" Sam choked out hurriedly. It was the only thing that mattered right now and he wanted to know! He wanted to run there, to him, and make sure himself but who knew how Castiel would react. Maybe even in the same way as before. Oh my God, if Sam had known from the beginning that Cas had been defending him, he might have kissed the angel for doing so. Gabriel lived, everything was alright. So far.

"Yes. However, he is very weak and I have no means to improve his condition. I do not know how to help him and I-," there was a silence for a few seconds as if Castiel was looking for the right words to say, "I _feel_ that I should know." the angel said and averted his gaze from them to land his eyes on the unmoving form. It seemed that he was ashamed of not knowing what to do, or how to help the unconscious man.

"Cas, Castiel?" Sam caught the angel's attention once again, the intensity of his stare was so familiar, Sam felt really relieved that they had found him physically unharmed, alive. "Don't worry, we will help you. But, do you know who he is? Do you remember him?" Sam asked Castiel carefully and patiently waiting for his answer. It was important to earn his trust so that he could finally go and see his brother, touch him and make sure that he was alive and that they could bring him back.

"No, I do not." Cas said sadly and then added quietly, "Is he my friend as well?" he inquired innocently, as if he already knew the answer but was afraid of saying it out loud by himself.

"Yeah, he is your friend too. A good friend." Sam smiled and felt the squeeze of Gabriel's hand, the only sign of the archangel being there with him. He had been silent for the whole conversation between Castiel and him, letting him deal with the situation, but without him, Sam would have broken down on the spot. The emotional turmoil he was feeling within himself was exhausting as hell, and Gabriel was his anchor, someone he could lean on in difficult times when his mind and heart had failed him and left him raw.

"Can you help him?" Castiel asked with a pleading tone in his voice, his intense stare aiming on Gabriel this time. Sam knew that Gabriel was getting to the same conclusion, the only one they had right now. There was a way and as always, Sam was willing to try anything possible just to save Dean. He wouldn't be a Winchester, if he didn't at least try.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I know it's Christmas but it's also a day for another update. If you find the time to read it, I hope you'll enjoy it :). 
> 
> I wish you very merry Christmas with your family or your friends, surrounded with people whom you love and they love you back :). These holidays should be filled with happiness and peace :).
> 
> Enjoy!

# Chapter 29

Of course, Gabriel could feel the longing for his brother inside Sam's body and soul, crying for the chance to hear him again, and see him sitting in their loving car, driving together into another town and saving the world along each other. Sam's heart rate had never left the spikes of his pulse and his blood rushed through his veins like crazy. The younger hunter literally vibrated next to him. The only thing that was keeping Sam still on the spot had been his hand curled tightly around Sam's so that he couldn't dart out like a bullet and run to his brother right away. Gabriel didn't want to risk it, since Castiel was still unprepared, and a bit unstable on top of that - for their brotherly behaviour. Or at least Gabriel thought it unusual and too intense for any angel so sheltered from the human interaction. And Castiel didn't remember anything from his life with the Winchesters.

Gabriel, after all, didn't communicate with his younger brother at the same level as humans were used to. Their graces reached out and brushed lightly against each other, touching tentatively one another, though they both could feel the familiarity between them. Castiel was just too damn careful for Gabriel's tastes but he would let his little brother indulge in control over the situation. It was interesting to watch his little brother to care so much for a human being. On the one hand, Gabriel understood his brother, he was an angel, but because Gabriel was so used to human life, habits and behaviour, this angelic bullshit was getting on his nerves. He had never been famous for his patience.

Sam was still talking with Castiel, telling him that Dean and him had been friends for a long time already. Although Gabriel doubted they were just friends. Sometimes, if those stares had been some indication, and if they weren't stupid or blind, they had been fucking like rabbits for years. Obviously, Sam didn't know about it, since he hadn't mentioned it. Or, those two idiots had never done the do. That was also a possibility.

Gabriel had been deep in thought when Sam's hand eased up his grip a bit, and the warmth accumulated between their palms left its confinements and rushed away into the rather cold air in the room.

"Castiel, I don't wanna cause you harm or rushed you into decision but... Dean is my brother," Sam pointed at the unmoving form lying on the mattress, "and I wanna check on him by myself. It's important to me but I don't really wanna risk you throwing me out of this room as you did to Gabriel. I do mean no harm. Please, trust me. I know you can feel I'm honest with you." Sam pleaded, showing him his huge puppy-dog eyes which had always worked on Gabriel immediately. Sam was willing to do anything to convince Castiel about his earnestness. Gabriel was mesmerized by Sam's patience and tolerance. Dean was his brother after all and it was obvious that he cared for him very much, wanting Castiel to trust him and let him in without hiding anything from him. The archangel could feel it all through their bond, and it was getting stronger by a minute.

But Sam hadn't have to be worried too much, because Gabriel could see through Castiel, even if there were no emotions showed on his face. It was an instant permission from Cassie's side. He just nodded in agreement and didn't even blink when Sam bolted like a lightening towards his brother, falling on his knees next to him and checking on his physical state. Castiel was watching the scene as if he had never seen such a thing before in his life and there, just there Gabriel could observe the transition from a stone-faced angel into a lonely man who longed for such a relationship, and then he gazed up to Gabriel, searching for it in him.

_Dammit, Sam. You really had to tell him we're brothers?!_ Gabriel whined mentally, hoping that Castiel wouldn't be as affectionate as the Winchesters. Though Gabriel was sure as hell that his little brother had been trying to restrain this part of him, this human side of him, because he knew deep down within himself that he wasn't human, that he was supernatural and it must have been confusing for him to feel all those things inside. Yeah, Gabriel knew something about that. So he sighed loudly, rolling his eyes as he went to Castiel.

"Oh, come on, you puppy. Give me a hug. It's damn painful to look at your sad face." Gabriel said with a smile in the corners of his lips and hugged Castiel strongly. The angel started a little upon their close proximity, surely not being used to these displays of affection, or maybe he just didn't remember them, since Gabriel couldn't imagine either Sam or Dean not giving him hugs, ever. But after a while Castiel hugged him back and almost melted into it, his grace beaming in happiness. He was showing so much affection through his light that it brightened the whole room and was becoming quite dangerous, especially for Sam, who was still checking on Dean's vitals, and surely thinking of the possibilities how to save him.

"Calm down. You're like a lamp." Gabriel muttered into Castiel's shoulder, giving him a little squeeze. Fortunately, it worked and Castiel's grace eased up a bit of its intensity.

Looking at Sam, Gabriel was sure that the hunter had come to the same conclusion how to save his brother. It was Sam after all, the most giving and caring human being Gabriel had ever met and got a chance to get to know him more closely.

Dean was alive but Gabriel could sense something was wrong with him. His soul still resided in his body, his heart was beating steadily but too slowly for a human. As if he were in a deep sleep or more like a coma. Otherwise, especially physically, the older hunter was alright. The psychological side of him... well, that posed a very different question. Obviously, Castiel had been keeping him alive and away from any dangers. That was why so much supernatural had happened around there. It was just a lost angel without no recent memories caring for a human he didn't even know, and apparently he was trying to help him, though unable to bring him back into the world of conscious. It must have been confusing for Castiel to feel something towards someone and not even knowing his name.

Anyway, if it were true what Sam had told him about their plan killing or weakening Amara by pumping human souls into Dean's body and making a bomb full of light of him, Gabriel was surprised that Dean had survived it. It must have been the work of his Father, otherwise there wasn't any other way how to resurrect a human (or an archangel for that matter) in such a state of the former devastation. Gabriel couldn't imagine how much power his Father must have given up to keep Dean alive and in such a fragile condition. Unless he had had help.

Human souls weren't weak per se, but who was he kidding. The Winchester brothers formed an exception in every damn thing Gabriel had learned for millennia during his life in Heaven. They represented all the changes and strength the human kind possessed. And this strong will and defiance against destiny and other bullshit from above or beyond had been good enough a reason to fight and die for them. The archangel would have never thought himself being capable of putting his own life at stake against his own older brother, especially when it came to Lucifer. And he had expected the outcome. It hadn't even been an equal fight. Lucifer hadn't tried much because Gabriel's actions and reactions had always been transparent to him. He had been like an open book to Lucifer and they had been quite close before everything had gone to shit.

Gabriel had mourned his older brother and had been mad at him since the day Lucifer had fell. After all, Lucifer had left him with righteous Michael and uptight Raphael. He was standing in the middle like a buffer. Both of his brothers trying to impress their Father and fighting each other to become His right hand. But Gabriel had never wanted any of it and learned what was important in a hard and painful way later. Gabriel didn't want to think of this new opportunity to live from his Father as a way of saying that he was better than his brothers, but he couldn't think of any other good reason that his Father would have given up so much power for him - someone who had ran away and left his family in tatters.

Gabriel had never wanted to feel so vulnerable again. And yet, here he was, hugging Castiel, his baby brother, giving him some brotherly love in the Winchesters style, and at the same time watching Sam fussing around Dean like a mother hen. He felt the blush creeping up into his face, a huge wave of warmth surged into him, enveloping his grace in a blanket of a feeling which he knew was love and admiration for now his bond mate. Gabriel was glad that Castiel was keeping him upright right now as he felt weak at the knees.

Had his Father given him life again for this powerful and _good_ thing forming between them? Gabriel couldn't be so pretentious to think that he was there for Sam? It should be other way around, shouldn't it? Sam was the one who had saved him and helped him to adapt to the human life and showed him that there were beautiful things Gabriel had never experienced before, and they were worth fighting for. 


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I hope you're enjoying the holidays! Here is another chapter, as I promised. 
> 
> Tell me what you think. You know I'd appreciate your opinion :).
> 
> Have fun!

# Chapter 30

Sam was being frantic, checking Dean's vitals and brushing against his skin, over his arms and shoulders. His heart was beating but too slowly for his tastes. Sam cupped his brother's face, stroking gently his cheeks and touching his forehead to see if the fever wasn't raging in his body but Dean was alright, at least physically.

Sam was kneeling at his brother's side, watching his face and trying to determine causes of his state. Well, in their lives there had always been a reason for one of them falling into coma. Their escapades with various creatures, demons, angels and other supernatural beings were dangerous and they were only humans. Their bodies would give up eventually and there would be no one to take them back to the world of living. Chuck had cut and run with his sister apparently, and this - giving Dean a chance to live and bringing Gabriel back for whatever reason - was surely some kind of his saying goodbye.

The hunter didn't even know what was wrong with his brother and honestly, he didn't even care because he would do anything to help him. And now Sam had two angels at his side. Sure, Cas didn't remember anything from before but there were remnants of memories which convinced him that saving and caring for Dean was a good idea, and that he should trust Sam and even ask him for help. And that surely meant something huge for the angel.

And then there was Gabriel. Well, Gabriel hadn't got his powers back, or at least not the full potential of them. But! Sam could recharge his batteries through their bond and then the archangel would be able to heal the scars on Dean's soul and body. Although Castiel should have had the power to do that as well, since he possessed the most of his powers, and healing should have been among them as a basic power. Something like Gabriel had got his healing power back among the first ones.

While thinking over every damn possibility they could  try to bring Dean back from unconsciousness, Sam registered from his peripheral vision the angels hugging each other. So he shifted his focus on them and his gaze met Gabriel's. Sam could feel the strings of the bond between them tugging him closer to the archangel, it was strong but warm at the same time. He didn't understand what it was but he was sure those were Gabriel's feelings, raw and uncontrolled, and receiving them through this strange and unknown thing as the bond between them was unexpected every time it had happened.

Sam shivered and his senses overloaded upon the surge of so many feelings from Gabriel. And again, Sam was wondering why Gabriel would connect to _him_ on spiritual level, to his soul? Why him? Gabriel was a prankster and he had done a lot of crap in his days as the Trickster, but he still was an archangel deep inside, pure light given by God himself, being one of the first forms of God's will. In that moment, Sam just couldn't comprehend Gabriel's decision to want to stay with him forever. And Sam knew it was _forever_ for them in any way of their being.

Sam shook his head to clear his mind and control his emotions flowing through the bond. It was unnerving how powerful the bond was and how it took over of his senses every damn time they looked at each other. The stares Cas and Dean had been giving each other Sam had always found funny, but now he understood.

**He understood.**

_Oh shit. The bond!_

The excitement Sam started to feel within himself caught Gabriel's attention and of course, he couldn't hide anything from the archangel even if he tried. Gabriel untangled himself from the strong grip Castiel had on him and stepped back a little.

"Sam? What's going on? Why are you so excited?" Gabriel asked and Sam could sense his curiosity through their connection. Castiel turned around to face him and was staring at him intensively, tilting his head on the side as he had always done when trying to understand humans. Sam chuckled lightly as he stood up and brushed the dust from his knees.

"You know," Sam started but then realized it would be better to discuss this only with Gabriel. So he turned his gaze at Cas, "Cas, do you think you could check on my brother. I'd like to talk with Gabe for a few minutes." Sam said truthfully. Cas just nodded slightly and went to Dean, kneeling next to him and touching his forehead as Sam had always seen angels do when they were doing their mojo.

The smile on his face didn't go unnoticed as Gabriel took his hand into his and led him on the other side of the room so they could talk more privately. Although there was a chance Castiel would still hear them since he'd got his powers and excellent hearing was one of them. But Sam felt the change of the air around them and immediately understood what it was. Gabriel did something, maybe somehow muted their conversation so that Castiel couldn't hear them.

It must have looked as if Sam had gone crazy and Gabriel's quirked eyebrow showed exactly that sentiment. Sam just couldn't help himself because he had come up with another possibility to help Dean to recover. Whatever it was that held him captive of the world of unconscious, it would never compete to the spiritual bond.

"Sam? Seriously, start talking!" Gabriel said strongly, losing his patience quite quickly over this. It was nice to see that Dean's well-being mattered to Gabriel. At least Sam thought it was because of the state of his brother.

"You know, at first, I was thinking _we_ could help Dean, through the bond," Sam paused as he looked at Gabriel to see his reaction to his initial idea, but there was no surprise or shock. Obviously, Gabriel knew him better than he thought. "but then it hit me!" Sam said excitedly with a glint in his eyes which, again, elicited impatience within Gabriel and Sam could feel it through their bond, so the hunter raised his hands in a placating gesture to stop the archangel from demanding the proper answer.

"Once, when Dean and I were really in trouble. I know, I know, we are always in trouble somehow." Sam rolled his eyes at Gabriel's having crossed his arms over his chest in exasperation, surely having a remark prepared on his tongue.

"Anyway, we needed Cas but he didn't answer my prayers! So I made Dean do it. And guess what, Cas appeared right in front of me. Just like that. And I was really pissed off because he didn't do that for me, but when Dean called, that was something different, apparently." Sam paused for a moment to wait for Gabriel's reaction to it. The archangel was clever, Sam had no doubts about that. After a while of Gabriel's mulling his words over, stroking his chin and touching his lips with his fingers, unaware that he was making Sam a bit breathy with the delicate motions, he looked up and the hunter could see the dawning in his eyes.

"And then he told us it's about _the profound bond_ they shared between each other or something like that." Sam said with a smile.

"So, you're saying that my little brother and _your_ brother shared a bond? And you're telling me that _now_?!" Gabriel said incredulously.

"Well, it wasn't important until now. You know, Cas then uttered something about him not meaning it. But I think it was just a defence reflex to him and he wanted to discredited what he said. If someone had sniffed it out, it could have endangered Dean and him both." Sam whispered even though he didn't have to. Gabriel stared at him, being deep in thought, motionless. It was interesting to watch him to be so concentrated on his thoughts.

"Well, this would definitely be better than us trying the bond thing to recharge my powers and wake Dean up. Sam, the bond between us," Gabriel said with slight desperation in his tone, gesticulating between them with his hands, "it's a delicate thing and needs our control over it. Plus, we should be protecting it with any means possible, not using it for our gain. The bond is a link between your soul and my grace, the most important essences of our lives. I understand you wanna help Dean and you want him to be with you again, but you can't just... decide for both of us to use this pure and awesome thing that had ever happened to me and just give it up." Gabriel finished breathless and Sam could see and _feel_ how vulnerable he was being at that moment. The hunter had never thought that Gabriel felt so strongly about it. Sam imagined that Gabriel would use the energy of his soul and save Dean. It was something they had always done for each other. It was engraved in him deep, settled. It was like a second nature to him to jump into everything headlong when it came to saving his brother.

"This flow of energy between us, uncontrolled-." Gabriel looked up at him with pleading eyes and continued. "You've seen it and you've lived it. It can kill you and I don't wanna lose you now when I've got you."

_Winchester, you idiot._

Sam took Gabriel by his shoulders, pulling him against himself and squeezing him in a bear-strong hug. The archangel went willingly and held him tightly like a vine. Sam could feel the wave of emotions through the bond between them - desperation, fear, love. Gabriel had never told him the words out loud, but he didn't have to because he showed what he felt through their connection, through actions.

Sam laid his chin on Gabriel's head and was stroking him all over his body with care, seeking for forgiveness. His doubts about Gabriel's decision to form the bond with him were one thing, the other was to using it for himself without thinking what it could do to the other of the two. And the bond was the road for two. Sam just couldn't leave Gabriel's wishes out of the equation. There was it again, this obsession to save his brother at all costs, this dependency Gabriel had tried to beat out of them several times before because it was their weakness and the bad guys had always known about it.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel. I wasn't thinking." Sam pleaded and tried putting everything he felt into it so that Gabriel would understand and might forgive him his reckless ideas.

"It's okay, Sam. I get it." Gabriel said quietly into his chest and after a moment he pulled away from him. And then, as if completely different person appeared in front of him, Sam couldn't find any emotion from before on Gabriel's face. The archangel was smirking playfully and started rubbing his hands against each other as if he was plotting some scheme to entertain himself.

"Well, when that's sorted, we should somehow convince Cas over there that he's got some kind of bond with the human he's been protecting the whole time. It shouldn't be too hard, right?" Gabriel said cheerfully, leaving Sam stunned as he trotted lively to Cas with a smile.

Apparently, they had a plan.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody!
> 
> There are just three chapters left of this story and only two of them are regular ones (this one included). Chapter 33 is written just for the people who demand some sexy times in a story but it's not important for the story. However, yesterday, I've got another idea for a bonus chapter and it might follow the events from chapter 33 (more sexy times) and there might be some explanations... Oops, I've got carried away :D.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one. Comments and criticisms are welcome. I appreciate everything you send my way :)

**Chapter 31**

Gabriel had a plan.

He wasn't happy about it but there really wasn't any other way to help Castiel to remember his whole life. Gabriel still hadn't got the reason why out of his little brother but that was a part of the problem here. If the archangel helped Cas to remember, they would know what the angel had done or what had happened to him.

Castiel trusted him and Sam, if he didn't trust him on his own, the bond would tell him that Gabriel meant it well. Although it was a dick move from him to do just the thing he didn't want Sam to do, but his plan wasn't as dangerous as Sam's. For his idea, Gabriel would need just a little energy from their bond to boost his healing powers up and remove this barrier Cas had, or someone else - probably their Father - had created, in his mind to suppress recent memories. Well, apparently, it had gone too far into Cas' history, since he had forgotten a lot from his life.

Something must have happened right after Dean had gone and sacrificed himself for the world, because Cas was in a poor state, and Gabriel didn't mean the vessel. Gabriel had an idea what could have caused this, and he had realized it just a few days ago. The feelings, strong and powerful, the archangel had for Sam was perfectly justifiable reason to do stupid shit as go and try some old spells and magic to retrieve Dean's soul back into his body after his death. And if he hadn't died and Dad somehow had saved him before he would have, well, Castiel surely hadn't known that at that time when he had performed some kind of strong and probably very old ritual. And it surely wasn't even allowed but Gabriel could imagine that his little brother hadn't cared about anything but bringing Dean back at that time.

Gabriel had explained Castiel what they were going to attempt to do and what could be expected. The angel had thought about it shortly and then just nodded with a firm, "I consent. Do it." Well, obviously, Castiel had expected him to do it immediately without much of an effort. But of course, there was this problem with power he didn't have without Sam and their bond. And then there was this fear of failing them both, or mess something up and endanger Sam's life without even wanting to. There would always be a small chance that it wasn't going to work as planned, and this bond between Sam and him was still too new and raw, too unpredictable and wild, powered by their feelings and desires to each other. And since they still didn't talk about it much and didn't know what the other really felt or how long had it been there between them, Gabriel was worried this exchange through their bond could weaken Sam or even kill him.

***

On the way to the hotel with Cas in the back and Dean curled there with his head laying in the angel's lap, Gabriel was thinking about the safest way how to connect with Sam and take just what he needed, nothing more. And he realized that it really wasn't about taking but more about sharing the energy, no draining or using Sam's soul and depleting it. It was about joining and healing together and using this joined power for the same cause. The previous connections had been too frantic, too out of control and driven by sexual frustration and desire. But healing was something completely different. It was about compassion and care, and Gabriel knew that Sam had a lot of both in his heart so it shouldn't be too difficult to make him understand how they had to do this.

When Sam went to get another room for Castiel and Dean, Gabriel was waiting for the hunter inside of their room, sitting on the bed and looking at nothing in particular. On the surface he looked serene and calm but inside his thoughts were racing like crazy bees, swarming his mind with horror images of how badly this soul and grace merging could go, what they were going to attempt to do just to get to know the bond between each other and use it for good.

Gabriel had never heard of any of his brothers to try the same thing with a human. Seriously, just the image of Michael or Raphael connecting to a human at such level of intimacy was laughable. And Lucifer with a human? That picture wasn't even funny anymore. Those three would never lower themselves to create a bond with a human, even unawares. Those first two had always been too self-absorbed and without emotion to feel more then the engraved love in their minds for their Father, so Gabriel couldn't even imagine a possibility this happening to them. And Luci? He hated humans. That was just the answer for itself.

But Gabriel had lived among humans many years and had been quite different from any other brothers of his. In some way, Castiel reminded him of himself when he had been younger and full of hope. His little brother had always been different from others and of course, his destiny had been to stay with the Winchesters, no matter what. What a surprise.

Gabriel smiled and at that second Sam walked in into the room. As he closed the door, the hunter went to Gabriel right away.

"What are you thinking about?" Sam asked as he sit next to Gabriel and took his hand into his larger one, rubbing soothing circles into his skin. Gabriel was watching Sam's fingers drawing shapes, trying to calm him down, though he was too deep in thoughts that he didn't register the hunter had asked him a question once more. But Sam obviously understood or rather felt it because he stayed silent.

Gabriel must have been screaming everything through their bond and he just realized that there was no way to conceal anything from Sam anymore. Not that he would ever do that, now, when they had got something so precious and rare, so unique that no one had gone through the same. Gabriel would remember such a thing in the writings in Heaven's library if there had been such a thing in their history. But there was none, complete zero of such events as the bonding occurring between a human's soul and an angel's grace (oh, babies were completely different thing). When the archangel thought about it, it was really insane but it warmed up his grace so much that he might have been glowing for some time and he wouldn't have even noticed.

Sam was still holding his hand in his own, not talking and just being there with Gabriel. The closeness was maddening, since it was obvious that they wanted each other, taste each other and shorten the distance between themselves even more, and it was possible only through their bond.

Gabriel inhaled deeply and opened his mouth to tell Sam what they needed to do. The archangel was certain about the plan to be right and safer than the one Sam had suggested to go through.

"Sam?" Gabriel said uncertainly as he looked up into Sam's eyes.

"Yes?" Sam answered calmly, gazing at Gabriel with the same intensity as the shine of his soul, reaching out for his grace, trying to connect.

"You can feel it." Gabriel said as a matter of fact, not even needing Sam's affirmation. "The healing process is not the same as other stuff I could do with my powers. It's more about the caring and compassion and I'm sure you'll have no problems with it. If we try to connect and wanna heal Cas with care and complete selflessness, it should work good. Can you imagine what I mean?" Gabriel asked earnestly, squeezing Sam's hand in his own, catching his breath as Sam raised his other hand and combed his fingers through his hair gently, sliding down over his neck and leaning down as he was closing his eyes slowly, and then he kissed Gabriel softly, almost shyly.

And then, just thanks to this loving gesture, a kiss, and feelings Sam was sending his way, Gabriel could feel the merging of the essences of their beings. The light of his grace and Sam's soul together were surrounding them and it was something completely different from the uncontrollable attempts before. Those hadn't even been attempts, those had been accidents.

And just like that, it was there, their control over the bond and the flow of the energy. Gabriel wasn't taking anything from Sam, they were sharing and it was the best feeling the archangel had ever experienced.

And they were still kissing, their tongues sliding together in a calm rhythm but after a while, Sam deepened the kiss and he was pushing Gabriel to lie on the bed, and Gabriel wasn't afraid anymore. It was strange how easy it had been for them to align their minds and understand how the bond worked. As if the caring and compassion, not passion or desire, had been the key to truly get it.

Sam was whispering something as he kissed every inch of Gabriel's face, sliding his hands over his body as if he was worshipping him. And Gabriel just let him. For the first time, the archangel felt loved and whole, as though his grace had never been complete and Sam's soul just fitted like a piece of a puzzle, the bond creating a balance he hadn't felt for a very long time, since running away from Heaven. Even as Loki, a pagan god, whom people prayed to and had been summoning, laying sacrifices to his feet, even then Gabriel had never felt so much _rightness_ as he was feeling right now under Sam, pressed into the mattress with his warm body, feeling Sam's fingers touching his face, smoothing the strands of his hair from his forehead. Gabriel wasn't human and this body was just a vessel for him, even though he felt more than before when he had been fully an archangel, still, he wasn't human and his true form couldn't be perceived by a human eye without burning them out of their sockets. Though right now, he felt as if his true form was growing out of his borrowed body and he hurriedly opened his eyes so he could warn Sam to close his eyes. But when Gabriel was about to tell Sam just that, he could see Sam's eyes were shining as well, light was seeping through his skin and out of his body.

_What the heck is going on?!_

Gabriel didn't understand what was happening. How was Sam able to do that?! Was that the bond?

"Gabriel," Sam said almost reverently, hovering over him as he propped up on his forearms. There was a huge smile on his face and the glow of his eyes even intensified. Gabriel couldn't believe it, "is this your true form?" Sam said breathlessly.  "Your wings?" Sam breathed out as he reached out with his right hand to touch something above his shoulders and Gabriel could feel it, Sam's touches on his _wings_. And that brought tears out of the corners of his eyes, and he was grinning stupidly like an idiot.

"Wow." Sam said, reminding him of himself when he had touched a flower of the first time. "This is awesome. How-" Sam stopped abruptly, looking back into Gabriel's eyes and apparently seeing what was happening with him, "Your eyes-. How-?"

"It's the bond. You can see some part of my true form, but don't worry kiddo, you're safe. My grace's protecting you." Gabriel said with a laugh because this was unreal. Sam could see him. Not the body he had once taken over and kept it. Sam could see _him_. If this wasn't the best thing that had happened to him, he didn't know what was.

"Oh," Sam breathed out in awe and then attacked Gabriel's mouth with his mouth, pressing his lips onto Gabriel's lips, kissing him eagerly, demanding entrance with his tongue and grazing his teeth over his lips gently at the same time not to hurt. And Gabriel was grinning, almost laughing like crazy, as they shared everything through their bond.

Healing Cas and saving Dean was going to be easier than Gabriel thought after all. 


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Here it is, the last regular chapter of this fanfic. I hope you enjoyed the ride and thank you for staying til the end. I know it was rather long and the development of their relationship was quite slow. But that's me, people. I just love reading and writing slowburn :).
> 
> The last chapter will be uploaded separately as a part of the series on the New Year's Eve, but I'm warning you, it's just sexy times, nothing too important for the story :).
> 
> If you enjoyed this fanfic, here [Connections](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8752411), you can find another one and I'll be very happy to see you there giving it a try :). Criticisms and comments are very welcome, as always!
> 
> I wish you all the best for the upcoming year. May all your dreams come true. 
> 
> Enjoy!

# Chapter 32

It had been a couple of weeks since the night Sam had seen Gabriel's true form for the first time, and since the following day when their bond and shared light had brought Castiel back his memories, which had led to awakening of Dean from a very strange induced coma. Castiel had just put his hand over Dean's chest where resided the older hunter's heart and that had been it. Nothing particularly difficult.

Castiel still didn't want to talk about the reason why he had lost almost all his memories and what exactly had kept him close to Dean, or even just that he felt the need to protect him at the time the angel hadn't known anything about him. Sam had got an idea of the reason why but it wasn't important right now, because his brother was back and kicking some ass again, driving his Baby and complaining all the time about mundane stuff in the bunker, their home.

Of course, the first thing Dean had said had been "What the fuck is the Trickster doing here?!" and "Damn, I'm hungry. I need red meat and lots of it." while massaging his growling stomach.

His older brother was alive and talking, swearing and frowning at Gabriel every damn time they met in hallways or the kitchen. Sam hadn't explained to him completely the relationship he and Gabriel had between each other, but Dean wasn't stupid and he must have observed something different and strong between them, so he waited for Sam to tell him by himself in his own time.

Dean had also told them about Chuck and Amara, at which Cas and Gabriel both glowered like dark clouds in the storm. And Sam couldn't be surprised by that, since Chuck was their father and the hunter knew something about dads who ran from their responsibilities, looking for some kind of a way out, or searching for a better ending, which was never there. Chuck was like his dad in a way, and Sam understood Gabriel and his anger surging through their bond, while trying to find something to hold on to before he would sink into it too far and do some stupid shit, as Sam had very well known from his own experience. Fortunately, Gabriel had calmed down after a while and sought Sam's comfort which the hunter provided him without hesitation.

The bond between Gabriel and him had grown exponentially and the more they had spent time together, in each other's close proximity, their connection kept strengthening. They had done the merging several times since the first time, and Sam had seen Gabriel's true form more and more clearly by each try.

Sam had loved Gabriel's personality, and his body - or his vessel, whatever it was for him - had never been as important to him as his character. And even though Sam was attracted to the archangel's body, his true form was something completely else. Something magnificent, vast, almost infinite. And Gabriel's wings? When Sam had touched them for the first time, it had been as if an electric pulse had surged through his body and mind, lightening all of his senses, almost overwhelming him how beautiful it had felt. And they were shining like sun on a summer day. They were soft and warm like Gabriel within, and his grace had supported Sam's senses through their bond, otherwise he wouldn't have been capable of seeing Gabriel how he really looked like. Sam still didn't manage to perceive every detail of the archangel's true form, but he had seen him no matter how clear, and that was the important thing for him.

***

One day, Sam had been sprawled over the couch enjoying the silence with Gabriel curled up around him like a small octopus, breathing lightly onto his chest and resting quietly. The hunter was reading a book and his bond mate hadn't moved the whole time. Gabriel had mojo'd the couch out of thin air, since he just couldn't sit or lie on the old furniture they had in the bunker and Sam wasn't the one to tell him to stop. It was comfortable and big enough even for him. No complaints there. Gabriel's dog was sleeping in his own bed, snorting from time to time as he was dreaming. That made Sam smile lightly.

Then Sam heard footsteps coming from the hallway, surely it was Dean since Castiel had been away for a few days on some Heaven business again and apparently had forgotten to tell Dean for how long, and his brother... it looked like he was moping like a child that had lost his only toy. It was funny until his brother didn't start throwing his moody remarks at him.

"Oh, for the love of..." Dean growled in annoyance as he walked into the room and saw them laying on the couch, touching and all. "This domesticity will burn a hole into my brain." his brother continued with his snarky remarks, "I'm gonna need some bleach for this, seriously." Sam rolled his eyes at that as he turned around to look at Dean and sent him one of his famous bitchfaces so that he would just shut up already and get used to it. Dean sighed loudly as he walked out again, muttering something about them being disgustingly clingy to each other.

Castiel had stuck around, or more like stayed near Dean, and Sam could see the discomfort and weirdness surrounding his brother at first when Cas stood too close to him, or touched him too often. But after a few days, Dean had just got used to it again and then they had kept hanging out with each other like before. Well, Sam just thought that Dean would get it out of his system sooner or later, because repressing it wasn't going to help at all. And Dean's brooding was getting really bothersome. Apparently, Castiel hadn't told him the whole truth, or Dean couldn't get over the fact that he liked Cas more than a friend. There was hoping, right? And that came quite soon, actually.

That same day, a couple of hours later when Gabriel had gone to do his business, Sam had been spending his time in the library reading. After a while Dean came to the library and sat at the other side of the table and Sam could sense how uncomfortable his brother was feeling. Sam stayed silent for a while to give Dean a chance to talk it out by his own time, but realized that he had always had problems to discuss his feelings. Sam glanced up at his brother, but not for long not to make it even more awkward.

"D'you need anything, Dean?" Sam asked, giving his brother an opening for a chat.

"Ummm. I just. Well..." Dean stuttered, sighing loudly afterwards as he rubbed over his face several times. "I just wanted to ask you something." he said forcefully, as if it were the most difficult thing to do. And Sam knew that it was difficult for Dean to talk about his feelings and emotions.

"Ask away." Sam said, open for any conversation Dean wanted to have with him.

"This thing," Dean cleared his throat, deliberately avoiding Sam's gaze. Instead, he stared at his folded hands laid on the table, stalling the conversation a bit as he tried to come up with the right words to say, "this _bond_ you've got with Gabriel," he paused and finally looked into Sam's eyes. Sam smiled softly at that, "what's it like?" Dean finished and exhaled heavily as if he had put a lot of strain on his lungs. Sam understood. He had been afraid of it as well when it started to form between him and Gabriel, and Dean realized, or Cas might have told him at last, that there was something similar between them as well. And sexuality be damned. This was completely different with the angels being another species, nothing from their world applied to their situation.

"Well," Sam closed the book in front of him, pushing it aside as he was thinking what he could say.

"I'd say it's incredibly confusing at first. All the feelings and emotions flowing at me from Gabriel like a tsunami, and yes, he's got emotions." Sam said firmly so that Dean wouldn't say anything stupid. But his brother just listened carefully. Good.

"But then it's just the light surrounding us both, this contentment and real happiness. He knows me, and I know him, completely. No nightmares because Gabe just goes in with me. Oh, yes. You know about that, angels can enter your dreams, but then you can go whenever you want and do whatever you want and-"

"Stop right there. I don't wanna hear about your sexual escapades with him." Dean groaned, surely planning to get bleach for that image he'd got about him and Gabriel. Sam chuckled at that. Typical.

"Okay, okay. Well, everything is more intense, oh, and the best thing about the bond is that there's a chance to see their true form. Seriously, Dean, they're magnificent. And their wings. Beautiful." Sam sighed dreamily, looking forward to the next private time with Gabriel.

"Ugh, dude, too much information." Dean grumbled in annoyance and embarrassment. "Okay, I think I've got enough. Thanks, I guess." Dean said as he stood up quickly, shuffling around for a bit, and then he went away. It was funny to see Dean so flustered, but Sam hoped that this conversation helped his brother to understand and at least he would consider this connection with his own angel.

***

"Sam?" Gabriel whispered, waiting for a response as he shifted on his side to face Sam. They had been sleeping together in one bed for a week, and even before, they had usually stayed in one or the other bedroom so they could fall asleep together. This arrangement had surprised Dean and Sam had had a talk with him about it, reassuring him that it was completely normal in their relationship. They had lived together for over three months and with the bond between them, it wasn't anything unexpected.

"Hmm?" Sam murmured quietly, having been interrupted from a light slumber. He then turned onto his side and look into Gabriel's eyes. They had been trying to strengthen the bond through mutual dreams, building worlds together, and also mentally, and by understanding each other more it wasn't too difficult to manage. It had been almost natural too them since their first successful attempt.

"You know, I've never told you, but this bond between us is the best thing that's happened to me. And I've lived a few millennia on this plain-" Gabriel paused and there was comfortable silence for a few minutes as he was thinking over his next words.

"You're getting philosophical and so late in the night. You never cease to surprise me." Sam chuckled, and to stop Gabriel from uttering some remark, the hunter raised his hand from the mattress and laid it on his cheek, sliding his fingers back through Gabriel's hair, combing them slowly to soothe the archangel. Sam could feel apprehension seeping from him through their bond and he didn't understand why. Why now.

"I'm serious. I was just thinking I should tell you that this between us," Gabriel motioned between them with his hand swiftly, though in the dim room, Sam could feel just a drift of air made by the motion, "it doesn't mean just forever. It's beyond forever and I wouldn't change it for anything." Gabriel said the last words with so much emotion that it lightened his eyes a bit, showing Sam the happiness he was feeling inside of him. Sam didn't know how to react to such admission from Gabriel, since he wasn't used to this from him. The archangel had never talked much about his emotions or feelings, he would rather show it to Sam, taking him to beautiful and secret places and talking about their history. Gabriel had created beautiful places in their dreams and thus tried to show off his skills how to make new things and how vast his imagination was.

"I know, Gabriel, and I'm not changing my mind, even if I could. Why are you still so afraid of what I feel towards you. Is it so strange that I wanna stay with you, no matter what?" Sam said with a serious tone in his voice, not understanding why would Gabriel still had doubts about the choice of his free will. Sam thought that Gabriel might have felt responsible for the formation of the bond between them, thinking that Sam hadn't had anything to do with it, but the opposite was the truth. When Gabriel had appeared in the bunker and stayed there for a while, Sam had slowly warmed up to him and at that time, the archangel hadn't got his powers back, none of them. It was just possible that they both had got friendly and close so much that the creation of the bond had been just a stronger level of what they had had for some time already.

"I just. I don't know. Don't mind me, I'm an old idiot who's craved contact with another being for a very long time and now I've got too sentimental. It's that humanity engraved in me and that's your fault." Gabriel said, faking frustration, surely pouting at Sam and knowing very well that Sam couldn't see him in the dark.

"Gabe, it's not a bad thing you know. You said it yourself once, remember? We're messed up but we try." Sam smiled, never stopping caressing Gabriel, soothing him with a touch. Sometimes Sam didn't really understand how the angels were thinking. What had made them to doubt themselves so much when it came to feelings and relationships.

"Oh, I remember. That day I've chosen you over my own family. But only now I realize how right it was then. And even though I haven't forgotten what my Father had done to all of us, this, we've got, it was worth me dying and coming back as a human." Gabriel said and gave Sam a light kiss.

"You know, I really hated it and struggled for a long time. Living as a human isn't easy and being in half way to be an archangel again, with powers but also human senses and feelings, that's just even harder." Gabriel paused for a while, stroking Sam's arm up and down, up and down, there was nothing sexual about it, just caring and being together, nothing more. Or nothing less.

"But Sam? Know that everything was worth it. Worth you." Gabriel finished his thought and curled closer to Sam like a cat. It meant that the talk was over and that the archangel wasn't going to continue talking, or he didn't want to talk more than was necessary at that moment. Sam just squeezed him tightly for a few seconds and then let go a bit, still combing his fingers through Gabriel's hair and giving a few kisses on his forehead.

Gabriel didn't have to sleep, since he was getting stronger and stronger each passing day and he didn't need their bond to boost up his powers anymore. But he had always stayed for a night just for Sam and the time they spent together in peace, dreaming together. Sam wasn't afraid again of falling asleep because Gabriel was waiting for him there every time, and moreover, Dean was just down the hall with Cas probably.

Sam couldn't think of a time when he felt so content and whole. He had his brother back and happy. His friend, Cas, was also back, and now he had got a bond mate as well. Someone who understood him so well, they didn't have to use words to express themselves, someone who knew him through and through and wanted to stay with him no matter what he had done in the past. And they were probably going to stay with each other for more than Sam could even start to comprehend.

Wasn't it just awesome?


End file.
